THIS IS NOT A SURVEY... I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT
... a survey.
Noteable happingings in the recent life of Lady Maggot:
1) Meredith and I were at the Whiskey Bar a couple of weeks ago. We sat at a table with a little light hanging from above it and a tealight on its surface. After about an hour, a seemingly drunk gentleman approached us and proclaimed, "Ya know, with all of this dim light on you [me], you look kinda like a palm reader." Hmm, how to manipulate this? So I responded with, "Would you like for me to read your palm?" Of COURSE he did. So I looked at his sweaty-ass hand and told him something cryptic ('cause let's face it, he was asking for cryptic). He baid me thanks and left us to our devices. About an hour later, he returned with a friend in tow. "Hey, would you read my friend's palm, too?" Why I wasn't charging money, I know not. But I agreed for the mere joy of fucking with a drunkard (shut up, like it's never happened to me).
I grabbed his wrist and looked down at the palm of his hand. *Gasp* the life line stopped abruptedly in the middle of its course. I paused dramatically and tried to look concerned. "W-what do y-you s-see?" asked the man with the alcohol-induced slur. I shook my head in feigned regret and announced, "It doesn't look good." He asked pleadingly, "what do you MEAN?" I then said, "Frankly sir, I'm surprised you're even standing here among us living folk right now. Your life line stopped about three months ago." To accomplish the desired effect of emminent doom, I glanced at Meredith and shook my head sadly. She dutifully looked at his palm and fake-gasped (love ya, M.). He and his friend staggered away, seemingly mortified. Oh, how we laughed and laughed later.
2) So, I was wearing a vintage t-shirt with Han Solo and Chewbacca on it. I went to visit Jaysin at the Onion (where he is now employed, say thank ya). It was a busy night and some dumbass in the crowd near the front said to me, "I bet that t-shirt was made before you were born." I cast him a stern glare and said, "Well, I was born in 1977, the year that "Return of the Jedi" came out. So, I guess it really depends on when this shirt was released to the public, huh?" Jaysin, who was standing nearby, said, "Dude, you better not mess with my wife when it comes to this topic." The guy sealed his own fate when he then pompously retorted, "Hey man, I think I know my Star Trek".
3) Jaysin's band has a 2-hour gig on Sunday, November 21. They are playing at the aforementioned Whiskey Bar. They are SOOOO gonna rock.
4) We went to Vicki's birthday party last weekend, and they had rented a "jousting ring". For those ignorant (as I was before witnessing this phenomenon), it's a big bouncy ring equipped with inflatable jousting staffs. People were puking as they fell out of it, but as an innocent bystander, I was quite adequately amused.
5) Every present we're giving for x-mas this year is going to be either a mix CD or a painting. I'm really happy about this. Not that I hate spending money on people or anything (hell, I barely spend any on myself other than gas, wine, and fresh vegetables), but I decided recently that I abhor giving impersonal gifts. So there.
Noteable happingings in the recent life of Lady Maggot:
1) Meredith and I were at the Whiskey Bar a couple of weeks ago. We sat at a table with a little light hanging from above it and a tealight on its surface. After about an hour, a seemingly drunk gentleman approached us and proclaimed, "Ya know, with all of this dim light on you [me], you look kinda like a palm reader." Hmm, how to manipulate this? So I responded with, "Would you like for me to read your palm?" Of COURSE he did. So I looked at his sweaty-ass hand and told him something cryptic ('cause let's face it, he was asking for cryptic). He baid me thanks and left us to our devices. About an hour later, he returned with a friend in tow. "Hey, would you read my friend's palm, too?" Why I wasn't charging money, I know not. But I agreed for the mere joy of fucking with a drunkard (shut up, like it's never happened to me).
I grabbed his wrist and looked down at the palm of his hand. *Gasp* the life line stopped abruptedly in the middle of its course. I paused dramatically and tried to look concerned. "W-what do y-you s-see?" asked the man with the alcohol-induced slur. I shook my head in feigned regret and announced, "It doesn't look good." He asked pleadingly, "what do you MEAN?" I then said, "Frankly sir, I'm surprised you're even standing here among us living folk right now. Your life line stopped about three months ago." To accomplish the desired effect of emminent doom, I glanced at Meredith and shook my head sadly. She dutifully looked at his palm and fake-gasped (love ya, M.). He and his friend staggered away, seemingly mortified. Oh, how we laughed and laughed later.
2) So, I was wearing a vintage t-shirt with Han Solo and Chewbacca on it. I went to visit Jaysin at the Onion (where he is now employed, say thank ya). It was a busy night and some dumbass in the crowd near the front said to me, "I bet that t-shirt was made before you were born." I cast him a stern glare and said, "Well, I was born in 1977, the year that "Return of the Jedi" came out. So, I guess it really depends on when this shirt was released to the public, huh?" Jaysin, who was standing nearby, said, "Dude, you better not mess with my wife when it comes to this topic." The guy sealed his own fate when he then pompously retorted, "Hey man, I think I know my Star Trek".
3) Jaysin's band has a 2-hour gig on Sunday, November 21. They are playing at the aforementioned Whiskey Bar. They are SOOOO gonna rock.
4) We went to Vicki's birthday party last weekend, and they had rented a "jousting ring". For those ignorant (as I was before witnessing this phenomenon), it's a big bouncy ring equipped with inflatable jousting staffs. People were puking as they fell out of it, but as an innocent bystander, I was quite adequately amused.
5) Every present we're giving for x-mas this year is going to be either a mix CD or a painting. I'm really happy about this. Not that I hate spending money on people or anything (hell, I barely spend any on myself other than gas, wine, and fresh vegetables), but I decided recently that I abhor giving impersonal gifts. So there.