Adventures at the Ignobels
My lord and I went to the Ignobels last night. A person at my office had proposed getting a group together, and we decided to go. Unfortunately, we didn't order the tickets until it was almost too late, so we got "obstructed view" seats (I was behind a pillar). At least we did get INTO the theater.
We went with a family who are friends of ours. Some of you may remember Doug White, who was in Carolingia many many years ago, and has always been a quirky science type. He married a lovely lady who had two young daughters, now 19/20 and 17 years old. Doug wanted to come along to the Ignobels because he has been a fan of the Annals of Improbable Research for *years*; his wife thought it sounded like a hoot and came along. And the daughters came for one reason: because NEIL GAIMAN WOULD BE THERE ZOMG!!!!!!!!!
Well. So due to the lateness of the ticket purchase, they were up in the balcony, and my lord and I were in the mezzanine behind a pillar. I took the pillar seat, but we still had quite a good view, and very much enjoyed the show. My lord had a great time singing along to The Bacteria Song, and is determined to bring paper airplanes next year.
Mr. Gaiman was in fact very entertaining. I think my favorite part was where one of the Ignobel winners was describing his paper, on how fruit bats are the only animals other than humans who . . . . *ahem* . . . well . . . *koff* . . . perform f*****tio on each other before *ahem*. Now, we didn’t get a full demonstration of this. The researcher had brought anatomically correct fruit bat puppets (with, from what I could see, the researched body part in bright red) which he proposed to show his study; but Noted Attorney William J. Maloney, who was the V-Chip Monitor, came over and waved his V-Chip flag and blew his horn to put an end to THAT demonstration. Then the researcher tried to show his video of the same demonstration, but the V-Chip Monitor also blew his horn and stopped that.
Meanwhile, Neil Gaiman had gotten hold of two extra anatomically-correct fruit-bat puppets. He immediately put one on his hand and began flapping it around (doing this far more dextrously than the researcher, by the way), and then persuaded the Nobel Laureate sitting next to him to put on the other puppet, and began his OWN demonstration. Eventually the Noted Attorney noticed this, and came over to hold his V-chip flag protectively between the audience and the puppets, and one of the support staff came to take the puppets away (not without protests) from Mr. Gaiman. I was hoping that the girls saw all this, but they were on the completely opposite side of the theater, so I wasn’t sure what they could see.
When it was time for the paper airplanes, two of the support people hauled out the human target (a guy wearing a big bullseye). I was surprised and pleased to see that we knew him - he’s in our regiment! So I made a note to go talk to him after the show. He was great as the target: first he cowered and was all afraid; then, as people started throwing paper airplanes and coming nowhere near the target, he opened one eye, then straightened up, then looked incredulous, and finally, looked all contemptuous as no one got even close to hitting him. I believe ONE airplane finally hit the target. The audience cheered wildly. (Although actually, the audience was cheering wildly for everything, including every time ANYone said “bacteria.” My lord said this was almost as interactive as the Christmas Revels, and nearly as much fun.)
When the show ended, I hurried down to say hi to my friend from the regiment. I asked him if he could get me an autograph from Neil Gaiman, as I figured my young friends would like one. He said, “Why don’t you just come up on stage and get it yourself?”
You can come up on stage?
I ran out into the lobby, and waited for my friends to come down the stairs from the upper balcony. *I* didn’t need to talk to Neil Gaiman directly, but I suspected they would want to. As soon as they came in view, I started waving for them to hurry - I didn’t know whether he would disappear off the stage. The older one figured it out right away, and they both hurried as best they could around the people streaming down the staircase. I grabbed their hands and towed them onto the stage, with the older girl going, “ohmygodohmyGodOhMyGodOHMYGOD” as we went, in a scale ascending into bat range. When we got on stage, I couldn’t see Mr. Gaiman, and had a moment of panic, but the older one spotted him right away and beelined for him. I caught up as she was telling him what a huge fan she was, and bouncing up and down.
As a presenter, Mr. Gaiman had been given all sorts of things in the ceremony, including a couple of books, a placque, a cap, and a large stuffed bacterium. He was juggling all this as he was trying to be gracious to my friend, so I offered to hold things for him. “Great!” he said, and shoved it all at me. While I held Neil Gaiman’s bacterium (my lord came up with that line), my young friend got an autograph on her program (I had a pen, but Mr. Gaiman fished a Sharpie Pen out of his pocket. I guess when you’re Neil Gaiman, you ALWAYS have an autograph or two to sign), and a big hug. A long hug - I don’t think she wanted to let go, and she’s dainty and VERY cute, so I gather Mr. Gaiman didn’t mind. By this time, her mother had caught up, with her camera phone, so she got a PHOTO WITH NEIL GAIMAN OMG to go with everything else.
Luckily, she did not faint during all of this, although I have never seen such a wide smile, and she hyperventilated during the entire stage experience. Her mother and sister also got autographs and pictures, and then we all went downstairs to see one of the singers. I made sure to put Mr. Gaiman’s things down on the piano near where he was standing - I would not want to be accused of stealing Neil Gaiman’s bacterium.
One of the performances was by Amanda Palmer & Jason Webley, as EvelynEvelyn (“conjoined twin sisters”). According to my friend, these people are also The Dresden Dolls, and she went to school with Amanda. (I later heard that evidently Amanda and Neil are dating, which might explain his presence at the show.) So we went and got Amanda’s autograph also, and then my friend leaned on the wall and smiled and hyperventilated some more while the rest of the family discussed the show.
After everyone caught their breath, we went outside to the front steps. As we were figuring out who was going where, one of the Nobel Laureates came out: Dr. James Muller. (From Google: “A cardiologist and the associate director of the Center for Integration of Medicine and Innovative Technology at Mass General. . . he became a physician and later a founder of the social action group, the International Physicians for the Prevention of Nuclear War, which won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1985.”) He stopped to chat, and we all had a lovely talk. (I think he was pleased by having Fans also.)
This was his first Ignobel, but he found it quite fun, and will probably come back next year. I asked Dr. Muller whether the actual Nobel ceremony was longer than this one (all participants in the Ignobel were limited to about 60 seconds per speech), and he said yes - as a matter of fact, someone went into cardiac arrest at his ceremony. “Good grief - one of the Nobel prizewinners?” “No, no, a reporter.”
Evidently his group was composed of both Russian and American scientists who were trying to prevent nuclear war. In 1985 (the Reagan years) this was not a popular position, and he was vilified in the press and called names (“Commie!”) etc. etc. But then, this reporter had a heart attack, and both the Russian and the American physicians worked together to save him. The guy lived, and Dr. Muller began using that as a parable for his group: Russian and American doctors working together to save lives.
He, too, had all his Ignobel schwag, including a large stuffed bacterium. My lord slipped back into the hall while the doctor was telling us his story, and came out with a bag from one of the vendors there. He and I took everything from the doctor (except the bacterium) and put it into the bag, which I don’t think the doctor even noticed. He did tell us that he was saving the bacterium for his granddaughter.
It came out that my friend was all excited from seeing Neil Gaiman, and the doctor said meditatively, with furrowed brow, “Neil Gaiman. Now which one was he?” I said that he was the one in the ill-fitting suit with the flop of hair, and Dr. Muller said, “Oh, yes - he did the talk on the telling the difference between an author and a bacterium on a book jacket! Now, what does he write?” We all told him about books, and tried to come up with something that he might have heard of. Eventually, he recognized the plot of Good Omens, and said that now he would have to go look for that. (He didn’t seem like the kind of person to appreciate Mr. Gaiman’s more . . . daring writing.)
All in all, a very fun evening. (My friend has still not recovered, and my lord is looking for the pictures on her Facebook page.) We’ll have to go again.
We went with a family who are friends of ours. Some of you may remember Doug White, who was in Carolingia many many years ago, and has always been a quirky science type. He married a lovely lady who had two young daughters, now 19/20 and 17 years old. Doug wanted to come along to the Ignobels because he has been a fan of the Annals of Improbable Research for *years*; his wife thought it sounded like a hoot and came along. And the daughters came for one reason: because NEIL GAIMAN WOULD BE THERE ZOMG!!!!!!!!!
Well. So due to the lateness of the ticket purchase, they were up in the balcony, and my lord and I were in the mezzanine behind a pillar. I took the pillar seat, but we still had quite a good view, and very much enjoyed the show. My lord had a great time singing along to The Bacteria Song, and is determined to bring paper airplanes next year.
Mr. Gaiman was in fact very entertaining. I think my favorite part was where one of the Ignobel winners was describing his paper, on how fruit bats are the only animals other than humans who . . . . *ahem* . . . well . . . *koff* . . . perform f*****tio on each other before *ahem*. Now, we didn’t get a full demonstration of this. The researcher had brought anatomically correct fruit bat puppets (with, from what I could see, the researched body part in bright red) which he proposed to show his study; but Noted Attorney William J. Maloney, who was the V-Chip Monitor, came over and waved his V-Chip flag and blew his horn to put an end to THAT demonstration. Then the researcher tried to show his video of the same demonstration, but the V-Chip Monitor also blew his horn and stopped that.
Meanwhile, Neil Gaiman had gotten hold of two extra anatomically-correct fruit-bat puppets. He immediately put one on his hand and began flapping it around (doing this far more dextrously than the researcher, by the way), and then persuaded the Nobel Laureate sitting next to him to put on the other puppet, and began his OWN demonstration. Eventually the Noted Attorney noticed this, and came over to hold his V-chip flag protectively between the audience and the puppets, and one of the support staff came to take the puppets away (not without protests) from Mr. Gaiman. I was hoping that the girls saw all this, but they were on the completely opposite side of the theater, so I wasn’t sure what they could see.
When it was time for the paper airplanes, two of the support people hauled out the human target (a guy wearing a big bullseye). I was surprised and pleased to see that we knew him - he’s in our regiment! So I made a note to go talk to him after the show. He was great as the target: first he cowered and was all afraid; then, as people started throwing paper airplanes and coming nowhere near the target, he opened one eye, then straightened up, then looked incredulous, and finally, looked all contemptuous as no one got even close to hitting him. I believe ONE airplane finally hit the target. The audience cheered wildly. (Although actually, the audience was cheering wildly for everything, including every time ANYone said “bacteria.” My lord said this was almost as interactive as the Christmas Revels, and nearly as much fun.)
When the show ended, I hurried down to say hi to my friend from the regiment. I asked him if he could get me an autograph from Neil Gaiman, as I figured my young friends would like one. He said, “Why don’t you just come up on stage and get it yourself?”
You can come up on stage?
I ran out into the lobby, and waited for my friends to come down the stairs from the upper balcony. *I* didn’t need to talk to Neil Gaiman directly, but I suspected they would want to. As soon as they came in view, I started waving for them to hurry - I didn’t know whether he would disappear off the stage. The older one figured it out right away, and they both hurried as best they could around the people streaming down the staircase. I grabbed their hands and towed them onto the stage, with the older girl going, “ohmygodohmyGodOhMyGodOHMYGOD” as we went, in a scale ascending into bat range. When we got on stage, I couldn’t see Mr. Gaiman, and had a moment of panic, but the older one spotted him right away and beelined for him. I caught up as she was telling him what a huge fan she was, and bouncing up and down.
As a presenter, Mr. Gaiman had been given all sorts of things in the ceremony, including a couple of books, a placque, a cap, and a large stuffed bacterium. He was juggling all this as he was trying to be gracious to my friend, so I offered to hold things for him. “Great!” he said, and shoved it all at me. While I held Neil Gaiman’s bacterium (my lord came up with that line), my young friend got an autograph on her program (I had a pen, but Mr. Gaiman fished a Sharpie Pen out of his pocket. I guess when you’re Neil Gaiman, you ALWAYS have an autograph or two to sign), and a big hug. A long hug - I don’t think she wanted to let go, and she’s dainty and VERY cute, so I gather Mr. Gaiman didn’t mind. By this time, her mother had caught up, with her camera phone, so she got a PHOTO WITH NEIL GAIMAN OMG to go with everything else.
Luckily, she did not faint during all of this, although I have never seen such a wide smile, and she hyperventilated during the entire stage experience. Her mother and sister also got autographs and pictures, and then we all went downstairs to see one of the singers. I made sure to put Mr. Gaiman’s things down on the piano near where he was standing - I would not want to be accused of stealing Neil Gaiman’s bacterium.
One of the performances was by Amanda Palmer & Jason Webley, as EvelynEvelyn (“conjoined twin sisters”). According to my friend, these people are also The Dresden Dolls, and she went to school with Amanda. (I later heard that evidently Amanda and Neil are dating, which might explain his presence at the show.) So we went and got Amanda’s autograph also, and then my friend leaned on the wall and smiled and hyperventilated some more while the rest of the family discussed the show.
After everyone caught their breath, we went outside to the front steps. As we were figuring out who was going where, one of the Nobel Laureates came out: Dr. James Muller. (From Google: “A cardiologist and the associate director of the Center for Integration of Medicine and Innovative Technology at Mass General. . . he became a physician and later a founder of the social action group, the International Physicians for the Prevention of Nuclear War, which won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1985.”) He stopped to chat, and we all had a lovely talk. (I think he was pleased by having Fans also.)
This was his first Ignobel, but he found it quite fun, and will probably come back next year. I asked Dr. Muller whether the actual Nobel ceremony was longer than this one (all participants in the Ignobel were limited to about 60 seconds per speech), and he said yes - as a matter of fact, someone went into cardiac arrest at his ceremony. “Good grief - one of the Nobel prizewinners?” “No, no, a reporter.”
Evidently his group was composed of both Russian and American scientists who were trying to prevent nuclear war. In 1985 (the Reagan years) this was not a popular position, and he was vilified in the press and called names (“Commie!”) etc. etc. But then, this reporter had a heart attack, and both the Russian and the American physicians worked together to save him. The guy lived, and Dr. Muller began using that as a parable for his group: Russian and American doctors working together to save lives.
He, too, had all his Ignobel schwag, including a large stuffed bacterium. My lord slipped back into the hall while the doctor was telling us his story, and came out with a bag from one of the vendors there. He and I took everything from the doctor (except the bacterium) and put it into the bag, which I don’t think the doctor even noticed. He did tell us that he was saving the bacterium for his granddaughter.
It came out that my friend was all excited from seeing Neil Gaiman, and the doctor said meditatively, with furrowed brow, “Neil Gaiman. Now which one was he?” I said that he was the one in the ill-fitting suit with the flop of hair, and Dr. Muller said, “Oh, yes - he did the talk on the telling the difference between an author and a bacterium on a book jacket! Now, what does he write?” We all told him about books, and tried to come up with something that he might have heard of. Eventually, he recognized the plot of Good Omens, and said that now he would have to go look for that. (He didn’t seem like the kind of person to appreciate Mr. Gaiman’s more . . . daring writing.)
All in all, a very fun evening. (My friend has still not recovered, and my lord is looking for the pictures on her Facebook page.) We’ll have to go again.