Dish up the control please
The other day I had a conversation with my Dom that caused a few things to happen. It was a fairly simple conversation that let him know that I was ready for the next step in our mutual exploration of D/s. The result was a letter from him to me that let me know that he was taking more control. My Dom, it would seem, is a fairly patient person who waits for the right queues and indications from me to move forward. He has done this several times and transitions as we move into deeper levels (which at this point are still very surface) are extremely smooth, at least, on his end.
I, on the other hand, have begun to notice that each time he takes a bit more control over me I go into a tail spin. I want to fall into an abyss of submission to him and loose track of myself completely. I become excited and impatient at the prospect of this. I want to dive in and beg and plead to be hurt and pleasured to the point in which I would do anything he asked. I would give anything and would be anything for him just for that chance to loose the ego and become the id. It keeps me up at night and makes me restless like a prowling cat. I want to bite off more than I can chew and wallow in the mess. My Dom says patience and I think I know what he is up to; keeping me always wanting more. But I want to scream, "release me." I want to be able to say afterwards, that was too much. I want to be overtaken and overwhelmed, pushed down, tied, beaten, fucked and told that I have no choice. All of these thoughts course through my body at lighting speed, making me wet, unfocused and grabbing for pieces of ideas that are like falling scraps of paper with little perverted notes written on them. I feel desperate and helpless all at once. I want to be reassured, touched and told with certainty that everything will be ok.
I, on the other hand, have begun to notice that each time he takes a bit more control over me I go into a tail spin. I want to fall into an abyss of submission to him and loose track of myself completely. I become excited and impatient at the prospect of this. I want to dive in and beg and plead to be hurt and pleasured to the point in which I would do anything he asked. I would give anything and would be anything for him just for that chance to loose the ego and become the id. It keeps me up at night and makes me restless like a prowling cat. I want to bite off more than I can chew and wallow in the mess. My Dom says patience and I think I know what he is up to; keeping me always wanting more. But I want to scream, "release me." I want to be able to say afterwards, that was too much. I want to be overtaken and overwhelmed, pushed down, tied, beaten, fucked and told that I have no choice. All of these thoughts course through my body at lighting speed, making me wet, unfocused and grabbing for pieces of ideas that are like falling scraps of paper with little perverted notes written on them. I feel desperate and helpless all at once. I want to be reassured, touched and told with certainty that everything will be ok.