Comments | ladylish: I wish I knew what MY job was

ladylish

I wish I knew what MY job was

Jul 07, 2005 01:13

This guy has it ALL figured out."

EDIT: I forgot to give credit to the originator of this link fractalnoise. Thanks Adam!
This should clarify that I was not, in fact, surfing the Craigslist personals for singles in the Chicago area. ;-)

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Deep Thoughts safetypup July 7 2005, 05:29:05 UTC

This was interesting enough that I reposted it in my LJ as well. Its funny how sometimes conversations and thoughts coincide - just last night I was counseling a friend on a similar topic - and I have been reading a book on Tantra that talks about some of the energy differences between men and women - which is kinda hokey to me, but I really do think that mentally men and women are radically different - and that a weakness sprouted from the sexual revolution preaches an unfortunate sameness that in turn breeds confusion, anger, and distrust. Men and women can't expect to be the same - we just aren't. Equal yes, the same no. People try to hard to fight those differences instead of respecting them.

Also - for the record - next time you gals think it is easy to be a guy - read that shit again. It is funny - but most of that is what women seem to expect - and it *ain't* easy to deliver.

Re: Deep Thoughts nalroth July 7 2005, 06:46:45 UTC

I agree completely with what you have said about the nature of men and women and the whole dating scene these days.

Of course, I am failing at my job because I don't work out.

Re: Deep Thoughts theantichrist July 7 2005, 06:54:47 UTC

Well I think it's a fun article with some genuine wisdom to impart - but I have to say I'm certainly not 100% on board with all of it. Total props for a funny, insightful, neat read though. ;) It was kinda sweet too.

Re: Deep Thoughts safetypup July 7 2005, 07:16:47 UTC

Word - is a good mix of wacked and accurate - as any dissertation on relationships should be.

Re: Deep Thoughts maroonmd July 7 2005, 12:07:36 UTC

It's by no means "easy" to be a guy. You have societal expectations thrust upon you, just different ones than a woman's. The sex-roles are changing though, and I think it's largely because it just doesn't work for anyone. So, I would disagree that women expect these things from men (though I'm sure there are some)... think about it, how many women do you actually KNOW that do expect the majority of these things? (just curious as to how much of this opinion is based on experience)

People try to hard to fight those differences instead of respecting them.

I do agree with this statement. However, I think it's about what the actual biological differences are versus what is expected of you. There's a difference... and sometimes it's hard to separate, but I think if people focused on who they actually are instead of trying to "deliver" what's expected, we'd all be better off.

General statements are fine... but when it comes to intimate, personal relationships, generalities have no place.

Re: Deep Thoughts safetypup July 7 2005, 13:35:39 UTC

Actually - I think the better comment here is that frequently we guys haven't got an f-ing clue what ya want from us - in fact - after all of the raging that went on in my post for this - my opinion here would be that this guys biggest mistake is thinking he understands women - cause we can all try, but usually we miss the mark at least somewhat.

I think most women would call me "in touch with my feelings" and I am certainly not afraid of intimacy - but I think the mistake that is made sometimes is that we try to put ourselves in your shoes - and they don't fit (and we can't wear heels - hee-hee)

Re: Deep Thoughts maroonmd July 7 2005, 14:25:53 UTC

ahh, see, this just proves my point. Communication is key, each girl wants/expects/etc. something different... if you talk about it, it's easy to put yourself in "her" shoes... if you try to put yourself in "women's" shoes, of course they're not going to fit, there's a million pairs and you only have two feet. ;-P ( ... )

Re: Deep Thoughts ladylish July 7 2005, 14:38:02 UTC

(Which will no doubt come in handy later, when she calls him a chauvinistic pig, because he'll be able to say "I told you so"). ;-)
I hadn't thought of it like that. It's the perfect out! Start their expectations low.

Re: Deep Thoughts syntart July 7 2005, 17:51:45 UTC

we guys haven't got an f-ing clue what ya want from us

Doesn't it work both ways? And isn't it true about everyone? I mean, this isn't dating that this only applies to but rather all human relationships. My girl friends, my guy friends, my work relationships ... I haven't got an f-ing clue what they want from me unless we talk about it and communicate -- needs, wants, compromises, what have you.

The biggest issue I have with this whole guy/girl thing is that people view it only within the scope of a guy/girl thing. But what about a guy/guy thing? Or a girl/girl thing? What, lesbians have it easier?! I think not! Human relationships are filled with pitholes and traps, and it's up to us, through clear communication and honesty, to negotiate them. It's not just guys who don't understand women -- it's people that don't understand people.

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