(no subject)

Aug 17, 2005 20:16

So I think it's time for a more personal entry. My boring day-to-day ones are getting a little old even for me. I think I'm ready to figure some stuff out.

I don't really know what's wrong with me right now. As a matter of fact, I don't know if anything is wrong at all. I've just been really restless lately. Have you ever gotten that feeling like you're missing out on something? School is out soon, and another year of my life is gone. I'm totally pumped for summer and everything, but I really want to do sophomore year over again. I know that sounds crazy, and I know I should becareful what I wish for, but there are so many things I might have missed. Oppurtunities and friends and classes. I don't want to miss anything, but it's so hard to get everything. I hate going into school everyday, but I don't want to. I want to just enjoy everything but I can't. I have so much fun a lot of times, and sometimes I don't. It's not that I'm complaining about getting older, it's just kind of scary. In two years we will be out of WHS, and that is probably going to be a good thing, but it's two years I will never be able to get back. I don't want to spend those years wallowing in self-pity or waiting for it to be over. We spend so much time counting down the time until things are over, or something new is starting, we never experience the change. Alright, it's getting kind of cheesy now. But this is to all my friends too. If you feel at all like I've been acting weird, or forgetting about you, I havn't. I've just been bored and overwhelmed and depressed and excited at the same time. I just need a little bit of space to try new things, and make new friends. But always remember that I will always always be here for you all, and I won't ever forget you. I've been having trouble with one things, so if you feel like I'm hanging out with you one day, and completely ditching you, that might be happening, BUT I'M SORRY. I'M REALLY REALLY SORRY, and I feel terribly about it, and I really don't want it to happen, but I just need to get this restlessness out of my system before I settle back down into the swing of things. I'm a little excited/anxious about how this summer is going to turn out. I'm not really sure if it will help my problem/issue or if it will just make it worse. I guess the best thing I can do is worry about it when it comes. As for the next couple weeks of sophomore year, savor them, because this is your last chance.

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life.
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