Disillusioned
it's amazing the things that go thru our mind when we find out that everything we thought we knew could be a complete lie.
you try to tell yourself that it's not true, that you know otherwise and all these things you're finding out are false. there is no way your radar couldve been that much off that this completely blindsided you
many of us may find ourselves in this situation in our lifetimes, i'm afraid. these can be when dealing with people we know or facts we always thought were true.....sometimes they're little ones, sometimes they're big ones.
the big ones are the hardest, of course.
i have been thru 3-such blind-siding events in my 23 years:
the first was when i was 19 and it had to do with my family
the second was when i was 21 and it had to do with my boyfriend at the time
the third happened today and it had to do with the spiritual leaders that some people i care about very very much follow.
i wont go into details here about who, so don't ask.
those who know me know that i am not, in the slightest bit, religious. for the most part, i dont even consider myself spiritual. but there are times when i desire to communicate to something greater. i have my usual outlets and ways of communicating, but for some reason, today, i decided to do some research. i decided to look up possible groups that believe like i do and there was one group in particular
what i found, instead, were a multitude of sources that shocked me. Plagiarism, false credentials, kiddnapping charges, suspected involvement in the death of babies (later proved innocent), many many many aliases, and so many lies.
these are not just the misdeeds of a person...these are the doings of a spritual leader. someone i know (or thought i did) and liked and to some degree, respected. what bothers me the most is that i have friends who follow them. in their quest for spiritual guidance, the seek the answers to their questions from these leaders. it doesnt matter what religion i am speaking of either, what matters is that this could have catastrophic results
now what do i do? tell my friends of my findings and risk loosing friendships over it? and what if this effects their faith so much, they loose it? or do i keep quiet and see if anything happens? if something does happen, am i partly to blame if i couldve somehow let people know?
the only thing i can do is research. i'll keep my thoughts and fears to myself from those who will no doubt be hurt for now. i sent the information i had found to 2 parties. one who knows said leaders (but is not a follower) and one who doesnt. i'm hoping that from each of their perpesctives on the situation, they will be able to help me decide what how to go about this. i will continue to do research. i have been trying to find something that maybe proves that all these stories and allegations are false, but to no avail. when i finally have as many facts as i can gather, i will present them to those i care about and step back. i will let them chose and decide for themselves......i just hope that is the right thing for me to do
it makes me wonder how many people out there really do their research before picking a religion/faith/church/temple/mosque/etc... to follow, as well as research on who is leading their chosen place of worship
you try to tell yourself that it's not true, that you know otherwise and all these things you're finding out are false. there is no way your radar couldve been that much off that this completely blindsided you
many of us may find ourselves in this situation in our lifetimes, i'm afraid. these can be when dealing with people we know or facts we always thought were true.....sometimes they're little ones, sometimes they're big ones.
the big ones are the hardest, of course.
i have been thru 3-such blind-siding events in my 23 years:
the first was when i was 19 and it had to do with my family
the second was when i was 21 and it had to do with my boyfriend at the time
the third happened today and it had to do with the spiritual leaders that some people i care about very very much follow.
i wont go into details here about who, so don't ask.
those who know me know that i am not, in the slightest bit, religious. for the most part, i dont even consider myself spiritual. but there are times when i desire to communicate to something greater. i have my usual outlets and ways of communicating, but for some reason, today, i decided to do some research. i decided to look up possible groups that believe like i do and there was one group in particular
what i found, instead, were a multitude of sources that shocked me. Plagiarism, false credentials, kiddnapping charges, suspected involvement in the death of babies (later proved innocent), many many many aliases, and so many lies.
these are not just the misdeeds of a person...these are the doings of a spritual leader. someone i know (or thought i did) and liked and to some degree, respected. what bothers me the most is that i have friends who follow them. in their quest for spiritual guidance, the seek the answers to their questions from these leaders. it doesnt matter what religion i am speaking of either, what matters is that this could have catastrophic results
now what do i do? tell my friends of my findings and risk loosing friendships over it? and what if this effects their faith so much, they loose it? or do i keep quiet and see if anything happens? if something does happen, am i partly to blame if i couldve somehow let people know?
the only thing i can do is research. i'll keep my thoughts and fears to myself from those who will no doubt be hurt for now. i sent the information i had found to 2 parties. one who knows said leaders (but is not a follower) and one who doesnt. i'm hoping that from each of their perpesctives on the situation, they will be able to help me decide what how to go about this. i will continue to do research. i have been trying to find something that maybe proves that all these stories and allegations are false, but to no avail. when i finally have as many facts as i can gather, i will present them to those i care about and step back. i will let them chose and decide for themselves......i just hope that is the right thing for me to do
it makes me wonder how many people out there really do their research before picking a religion/faith/church/temple/mosque/etc... to follow, as well as research on who is leading their chosen place of worship