Another one bites the Dust
Hi Kids....we have an issue that requires urgent attention. The subject matter is a young man who will go unnamed, for very obvious reasons (the boy has lost his damn mind). My bff Melkins, is having some problems yet again, with aN internet "friend" stalking her. Alas, he can't be handle properly because he is, in fact, on the goddamn fucking INTERNET. IE: fake...NOT REAL! Internet friends are easily made, and just as easily discarded. They dont really count in the scheme of things.
Although my Melkins is dear to me, she seems to have one great fault. She can attract a psychopath in real life as easily as on the web. They are drawn to her like flies to honey. I have tried to warn my dear Melkins, because I fear this particular creep will hop a greyhound and propose yet again, while thinking that he would recieve better results in person. However, young sir, all this will bring you a big fat RESTRAINING ORDER. How soon we forget, My Melkins is a PoPo in Training. Word? Word.
Just because you say you are a member of the Church of Melkins, doesn't mean you are automatically VIP. You have to work up to VIP, and you are a little too squirelly for all of that. You need to chill on the creepiness. What you have to understand, is your nothing special. Nothing she hasn't seen before. Proposal? Can you be anymore generic? You think your the first? Do you actually think you'll be the last? Please, take a fucking number and get a clue. I'm saying she isn't intentionally toying with you...you just have to know Mandy. And obviously you don't. You are taking cyber friend, and trying to turn it into an episode of the Young and the Restless. To her, you are just someone to talk to when its convinient. Your friendship is not necessary, and is becoming quite burdensome.
In closing, to an extent I know how you feel. She is a wonderful person, and is an even better friend. She is one of the most fabulous people I know...but she doesn't need or deserve the drama. She has been nothing but kind to you, and she isn't going to try to work to keep your friendship. Its either there or its not. Internet friends are easily decieved...and if she says she is going to bed, and just doesn't feel like talking, don't fucking check up on her. Its not your business. Maybe she wants to take a break from Cyberspace to go fuck her HUSBAND.
Disclaimer: IF YOU ARE AN INTERNET FRIEND OF MELKINS, AND SHE HAS NOT MET YOU IN PERSON, THEN YOU ARE, IN FACT, A FICTIONAL CHARACTER. YOUR FEELINGS BARE ON MEANING IN THE SCHEME OF THINGS. SHE WILL NOT INTENTIONALLY HURT YOU, UNLESS SHE DEEMS IT NECESSARY AT THE TIME. IF YOU CANNOT DEAL WITH THE FACT THAT YOU ARE SOMEWHAT INSIGNIFICANT IN HER EYES, THEN YOU NEED NOT TALK TO HER ANYMORE. I PROMISE YOU SHE WILL NOT BE OFFENDED. THANK YOU, HAVE A WONDERFUL CYBERFILLED FUCKING DAY.
Although my Melkins is dear to me, she seems to have one great fault. She can attract a psychopath in real life as easily as on the web. They are drawn to her like flies to honey. I have tried to warn my dear Melkins, because I fear this particular creep will hop a greyhound and propose yet again, while thinking that he would recieve better results in person. However, young sir, all this will bring you a big fat RESTRAINING ORDER. How soon we forget, My Melkins is a PoPo in Training. Word? Word.
Just because you say you are a member of the Church of Melkins, doesn't mean you are automatically VIP. You have to work up to VIP, and you are a little too squirelly for all of that. You need to chill on the creepiness. What you have to understand, is your nothing special. Nothing she hasn't seen before. Proposal? Can you be anymore generic? You think your the first? Do you actually think you'll be the last? Please, take a fucking number and get a clue. I'm saying she isn't intentionally toying with you...you just have to know Mandy. And obviously you don't. You are taking cyber friend, and trying to turn it into an episode of the Young and the Restless. To her, you are just someone to talk to when its convinient. Your friendship is not necessary, and is becoming quite burdensome.
In closing, to an extent I know how you feel. She is a wonderful person, and is an even better friend. She is one of the most fabulous people I know...but she doesn't need or deserve the drama. She has been nothing but kind to you, and she isn't going to try to work to keep your friendship. Its either there or its not. Internet friends are easily decieved...and if she says she is going to bed, and just doesn't feel like talking, don't fucking check up on her. Its not your business. Maybe she wants to take a break from Cyberspace to go fuck her HUSBAND.
Disclaimer: IF YOU ARE AN INTERNET FRIEND OF MELKINS, AND SHE HAS NOT MET YOU IN PERSON, THEN YOU ARE, IN FACT, A FICTIONAL CHARACTER. YOUR FEELINGS BARE ON MEANING IN THE SCHEME OF THINGS. SHE WILL NOT INTENTIONALLY HURT YOU, UNLESS SHE DEEMS IT NECESSARY AT THE TIME. IF YOU CANNOT DEAL WITH THE FACT THAT YOU ARE SOMEWHAT INSIGNIFICANT IN HER EYES, THEN YOU NEED NOT TALK TO HER ANYMORE. I PROMISE YOU SHE WILL NOT BE OFFENDED. THANK YOU, HAVE A WONDERFUL CYBERFILLED FUCKING DAY.