Cats are bullshit.
Let me just put this out there for people who don't have cats: Cats are bullshit. Cats are supposed to be otherworldly and mysterious and aloof and have those judgmental stares that says, "I know what you do when no one else is around, you freak" or "I know the secrets of life and you are failing" (okay, so those stares are pretty common). They are supposed to be those animals that you instinctively always have a slight fear of, because they must secretly be plotting world domination. And sometimes they are those mysterious, aloof, elitist animals that sit on only the fluffiest blankets and have dedicated cleaning routines.
But mostly, cats are fucking morons.
A usual moment with a cat goes like this: You walk into the bathroom, and the cat is sitting on the toilet lid (because if the lid is up, the cat will drink from the toilet). The cat looks up at you as if to say, "Oh! I'm high up now, so you don't even have to bend down to pet me. Isn't it wonderful?" No, it isn't wonderful, because you have to fucking pee and the cat won't move from the toilet lid. So you pick the cat up and put it on the radiator. The cat looks at you with that stupid happy face he has, because now you're sitting next to him (wishing that, for once, you could pee by yourself) and obviously you can start petting him. And then he gets distracted because the radiator is in front of the window, so he tries to look through the curtains (which is much better than trying to open the curtains). During this, you despair your life and the choices you've made.
Seriously. This is what cats are actually like.
But mostly, cats are fucking morons.
A usual moment with a cat goes like this: You walk into the bathroom, and the cat is sitting on the toilet lid (because if the lid is up, the cat will drink from the toilet). The cat looks up at you as if to say, "Oh! I'm high up now, so you don't even have to bend down to pet me. Isn't it wonderful?" No, it isn't wonderful, because you have to fucking pee and the cat won't move from the toilet lid. So you pick the cat up and put it on the radiator. The cat looks at you with that stupid happy face he has, because now you're sitting next to him (wishing that, for once, you could pee by yourself) and obviously you can start petting him. And then he gets distracted because the radiator is in front of the window, so he tries to look through the curtains (which is much better than trying to open the curtains). During this, you despair your life and the choices you've made.
Seriously. This is what cats are actually like.