THE VAMPIRE DIARIES: Vampires Don't Wear Leather Jackets [1/1]
Title: Vampires Don't Wear Leather Jackets
Series: Anyone, Anytime, Anyplace ficlet collection
Chapter: 1/1
Author: ladyknight_fic
Fandom: The Vampire Diaries (TV-verse)
Characters: Elena Gilbert
Pairing: one very vague reference to Elena/Damon
Genre: Humor(/Crack)
Rating: G
Summary: "Have you seen what's on TV lately? What passes for a vampire in film? They're wearing leather jackets for God's sake. Leather jackets!"
Spoilers: none
Warning(s): crack!fic, and a dig a Twilight
Word Count: 558
Disclaimer: These characters are the property of L. J. Smith, Kevin Williamson and Julie Plec.
A/N: I don't know where this came from, okay? Also, I wrote it in about 10 minutes and it hasn't been what I would considered "edited", just generally cleaned up because once I'd written it I figured I might as well do something with it, and if something is being posted, I figure it should at least all be in the same tense. Maybe that's just me. Please don't judge.
- o - o - o -
The various ironies and coincidences that always manage to work their way into Elena's life ceased having any particular mental affect on her sometime around Katherine coming to town that first time. The best reaction she can generally work up these days is an eyeroll or a perked brow.
It's not like she ever expected the paranormal wouldn't make some sort of appearance in her creative writing workshops. It is, after all, "creative writing"; she can hardly blame the wider population for not having access to the sort of information and life experience that she's had.
Still, when the class is divided into groups to discuss and outline a character for a particular supernatural species, and she is inevitably assigned to the group working on vampires, she wants to bang her head through a wall.
There is truly no escape.
"Vampires," says Katie, a slightly pretentious girl originally from Boston, "have really slipped in recent years."
Drawing curling motifs around the edge of her pages and calling to mind Klaus, Elena might be inclined to disagree with this statement, but considering Katie is talking in terms of literature, she bites her tongue.
Katie continues, "I mean, have you seen what's on TV lately? What passes for a vampire in film? They're wearing leather jackets for God's sake. Leather jackets!"
"What's wrong with a vampire in a leather jacket?" Elena speaks now because she can't help herself and because she feels morally obligated to stand up for Damon's leather jacket (one of many anyway), which had been flung so carelessly across her bedroom when he dropped by the night before to pay her a surprise visit.
Katie rolls her eyes and shares what can only be a pitying glance with the other two girls around their table, girls more commonly referred to as Katie's Minions.
"Elena, vampires are monsters." Katie speaks slowly, to ensure Elena understands presumably.
Elena shrugs. "Which means they can't wear leather jackets?"
Katie shakes her head, her shiny red hair flying, and Katie's Minions mimic their mistress. "The leather jacket is a poor attempt at giving contemporary vampires a place in society by casting them in the role of the bad boy. It's done in an effort to appeal to the female audience by making the vampire a rebel, an outcast, a James Dean."
Elena bristles now, outraged on Damon's behalf. "And what's wrong with that? Women love bad boys. So what? Probably makes it easier when the vampire takes a lunch break."
She honestly can't believe she just said that. If Damon could hear her now, he'd be smirking up a storm.
"So…you don't care about the deterioration of vampires in popular culture?"
Elena throws up her hands. "As far as I'm concerned, vampires can where whatever the hell they want! Leather jackets, plaid shirts, skinny jeans. It doesn't make any difference! If you want to talk about the deterioration of vampires in popular culture, don't you think you should be more focused on vampires that sparkle?"
Through the rant-induced haze comes a quiet gasp; Elena and Katie both turn to stare at the more mousy of Katie's Minions.
Elena has never had reason to pay much attention to the girl outside of noting her pale skin and non-descript brown hair so it was only now that she remembers.
The girl's name is Bella.
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