(no subject)
im starting to get worried.
is it normal to be so close to ur boyfriend, that its hard to miss him and friggin just think about him cause hes there 24/7 !??! Im finding it hard to miss the boy and all that jazz, i find it even hard to find time for myself. I see him right when i get out of class, talk to him right before i sleep and wake up in the morning. i have tah txt him and keep him company and then the cycle repeats itself. i dont remember the last time i went to the mall or anywhere by myself. i dont know if thats good. I believe its not. Now here i am, i feel so drained, i want my alone time, i want to grow , but how can i if i am being codependant on him? I want to see him when i have time, not just see him everyday and have time for nothing else. Its probably one of the biggest reasons why i dont hve alot of friends. He says he gives me freedom to do whateve,r but if i just say im going to do something without him for a sec, i hear that voice of guilt trips. like " awee......." and it drives me crazy.
this is making me absolutly insane. I want space!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!but i dont wana break up.
I just know I need my time alone, I need to do things that wont prohibit me from having my own fun.
I wnt to just call someone and hang out with a girl or anyone, and not have to worry that bryan is gona be upset that i chose to hang with someone else except him.
i never been in this situation where my time was devoted 24/7 all day everday. i dont even have a holiday.
i dont want to hurt his feelings, i dont want to damage what we have, and i dont want to lsoe anything.
i just want to go out and not worry for the life of me if my boy is at home upset hurt or lonely.
ive said this shit to him before and he said he understood, but i dont feel any change.
its all fucking talk.
is it normal to be so close to ur boyfriend, that its hard to miss him and friggin just think about him cause hes there 24/7 !??! Im finding it hard to miss the boy and all that jazz, i find it even hard to find time for myself. I see him right when i get out of class, talk to him right before i sleep and wake up in the morning. i have tah txt him and keep him company and then the cycle repeats itself. i dont remember the last time i went to the mall or anywhere by myself. i dont know if thats good. I believe its not. Now here i am, i feel so drained, i want my alone time, i want to grow , but how can i if i am being codependant on him? I want to see him when i have time, not just see him everyday and have time for nothing else. Its probably one of the biggest reasons why i dont hve alot of friends. He says he gives me freedom to do whateve,r but if i just say im going to do something without him for a sec, i hear that voice of guilt trips. like " awee......." and it drives me crazy.
this is making me absolutly insane. I want space!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!but i dont wana break up.
I just know I need my time alone, I need to do things that wont prohibit me from having my own fun.
I wnt to just call someone and hang out with a girl or anyone, and not have to worry that bryan is gona be upset that i chose to hang with someone else except him.
i never been in this situation where my time was devoted 24/7 all day everday. i dont even have a holiday.
i dont want to hurt his feelings, i dont want to damage what we have, and i dont want to lsoe anything.
i just want to go out and not worry for the life of me if my boy is at home upset hurt or lonely.
ive said this shit to him before and he said he understood, but i dont feel any change.
its all fucking talk.