love and relationships

[ladykatilina]

I've always wanted to have more of a relationship with my mom. I love my parents. I really look up to my mom. She has a big heart and she is constantly helping everyone else around her, even when it is to her detriment (I wonder how much of it is out of a sense of obligation? - which does not make me think less of her- she was catholic pre-Vatican II). My mom is a lot like my sister in someways. She is just really hard to talk to. Just in the last two years or so she has started to confide more in me through letters. She now regularly asks me for advice on a couple of issues that I don't really know if I am qualified to give advice on, but I try. I really enjoy that she looks up to me and sees me as more of an adult and less as a little kid -which I know is inevitable and I will never truly get away from it. I don't ask for things from my parents because I want to be independent. I want to be equal. I want to at least not be looked down upon. I don't ever want to hear "you would not understand" again. That is the response that I have pretty much gotten when I wanted to discuss important things in the past. Which is why I stopped trying to discuss anything of importance to me for a pretty long time. Almost ten years actually. We'll see how tomorrow goes.

I saw this quote in a friends house and at the time it seemed pretty ironic:
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. - Corinthians 13:7-8

I feel lonely for human contact. I wish that I had friends around that I could just watch movies and cuddle with like I did in college. *shrugs*