All the Things That Are Lost - Ch. 10

[ladyk8]

Summary: Post-NFA. When Buffy discovers that Spike survived the destruction of Sunnydale, she heads to L.A. looking for answers; however, her search leads her to a strange place that is more than a world away.

Previous chapters here

Comments

[petzipellepingo]

Seeing her again - it was a never-spoken wish come true and a brutal kick in the gut at the same time, and the only thing he was sure of at the moment was the turmoil churning inside him. Look after her; get her out of here; get her to safety. He couldn’t do it all - couldn’t do any of it - not here, not in this godforsaken place - and what the bloody hell had she been thinking, anyway, to come here willingly?

But that answer came easily enough: Angel. She’d come looking for Angel. Just like everyone else. Angel was the reason that he was here, that Illyria was here, and now the reason that Buffy was here. Needed to be clear on that. Needed to not get sidetracked...

Yeah, right. Cause he had such a good track record on that front.

The thing was... he’d been there, and done that. Loved Buffy, wanted Buffy, bundled it all together in twenty different kinds of hope and need and audacity and burning, and always never quite reaching, never quite found.

Wasn’t so sure he wanted to go through it again - and for what? Yeah, so she was here now, but nothing between them had changed, had it? She was still Buffy, and he was still Spike, and no matter how many different ways he’d tried to work it out, that equation had never added up. Maybe if his name had been Angel-

Maybe everything turned to ice, here. Cold like Illyria. Like Spike...?

Don’t be stupid, Buffy. Don’t be afraid. You came here, and - and you can do this. You can tell him how you feel, make him understand. Even if he’s changed. Even if he doesn’t want...

Always with the mixed signals those two. And Angel always the 800 pound elephant in the room. Very nice Spike and Illyria voices in this chapter.

[ladyk8]

My brain just had a funny visual of the two of them talking around an 800-lb Angel. Story for another day, I suppose... :-)

When watching the show, I sometimes thought that part of the problem with Buffy and Spike was that they were never at the same place, at the same time, when it came to their relationship. And that Spike wanted it way more than Buffy did (or that she'd admit to, anyway). So, yeah, Buffy's going to have to work at it harder than she would have before.

Thanks for commenting (and highlighting - I always like to see which parts stood out for readers). And the advertisement in your journal - I don't think I've thanked you for that yet (bad me!), but I really do appreciate it. So thank you! :-)