To Chain Thanatos
Title: To Chain Thanatos
Word Count: 1,710
Rating: T (PG-13)
Pairing: Adama/Roslin with implied Adama/Lee and Roslin/Lee (friendship)
Disclaimer: All belongs to the Lords of Kobol ... the only thing that's mine is my craziness.
Spoilers: To "Crossroads Part 2" ... everything from there is definitely my imagination. The third story in what I call my "Aftermath" series and is a follow-up to "Goodbye, Captain Apollo" and "Icarus' Choice".
Aftermath: To Chain Thanatos
William Adama nodded to the two sentries outside Galactica's Presidential Suite, as he privately referred to the VIP quarters Laura usually inhabited whenever she was on board. It was a far cry from the real thing she must have visited with President Adar in top-flight hotels back in the Colonies, but it was all he had to offer.
He knocked on the hatch, brow furrowing in concern when there was no reply for long moments. He'd stormed from his quarters, recognising that he was about to start another fight with Lee and wreck the fragile truce he'd built with his son only a few minutes before regarding Lee's participation in Baltar's trial and his subsequent treatment of Laura on the witness stand that had led to his exposure of her cancer's return.
"You went to her quarters?" he said in outrage, looking at the younger man in disbelief. "Knowing her condition, you went there and picked a fight with her at a time like this?"
"I didn't go there to pick a fight--I only wanted to apologise!" Lee shouted back, resentment flaring in his eyes to mix with the guilt already there. "But one thing led to another and we ended up fighting."
"Damn it to the Gods, Lee," Bill said, anger rising with the blood pounding in his ears, "she's just had a frakking diloxin treatment!"
Bill hurried to his hatch, stopping at the last minute at the threshold. "I have to go check on her," he said, meeting his son's gaze again. "I'll need a full report on pilot and flight deck status for the CIC briefing in an hour. Hopefully, by the time the briefing is over, Cottle will be finished his analysis."
Lee swallowed visibly and nodded. "Yes, sir," he replied. There was understanding in his eyes. Bill pushed through the hatch without a backward glance.
Bill tried the handle as he knocked again, firmly squelching the desire to pound on it. It was locked. After another moment, he heard the locking mechanism disengage. He pushed the hatch open and stepped inside, immediately closing it behind him.
Laura's face was pale and drawn in the dim light; she was dry-eyed, but her tears hung heavy in the air between them. The large, dark-coloured robe she wore seemed to swallow her up.
"Sorry, I was lying down," she said softly.
"No, I should apologise for disturbing your rest," he replied. They regarded each other awkwardly for a moment, and then he took the bull by the horn. "I just wanted to make sure you were all right--Lee told me that you'd fought. Are you all right?"
She looked away and walked stiffly to the armchair, lowering herself slowly into its cushioned depths.
"You know me, Bill," she said, not bothering to mask the bitterness in her voice. "I'm always all right. I'm dying, but not today. I can still do what needs to be done for this fleet."
"Laura--" he began gently; it hurt--almost physically--to hear that bitterness.
"Saul had the right of it back on New Caprica," she continued as if he hadn't spoken. "I had ice water in my veins. I stupidly allowed it to thaw--but I see my mistake now." She met his gaze again. "I'd forgotten that out here in the cold dark of space, ice is exactly what should be in ones veins. Don't worry, it's all crystallising quite clearly now. I won't forget again."
"Don't," he said, hating the coldness in her tone and in her hard, jade-green eyes, which lent an extra chill to her words.
"Don't what, Bill?" she said in that same icy tone that speared his heart. She rose from the chair, at once a contradiction of blazing fire and inexorable ice as she advanced on him. "I'm sick and tired of this shit, and I won't do it to myself anymore." She laughed bitterly. "Life's too frakking short, and mine's apt to be a hell of a lot shorter than most. So, once and for all, Bill; what in all the black of Hades do you and your son want from me?"
And it suddenly struck him--with the force of a Viper round to the gut--that she'd given him an ultimatum; it was now or never.
"To be family," he replied simply.
Laura stared at him--naked desire warred with utter shock. Bill was at once delighted with and ashamed of that expression; ashamed because it told him that she'd never expected his answer--he didn't think that he'd hidden his love for her that well--and delighted because it told him that this was the answer she'd wanted.
She turned from him, slender body taut like a bow string, small hands curled in fists at her side--silent testament to her hard-won control.
"I've never been "wife" material, Bill," she said hoarsely, her back still to him. "And I'm certainly not cut out to be anyone's mother."
Bill walked over to her and wrapped his arms about her waist from behind. She stiffened for a moment and then relaxed into him, covering his hands with her own.
"Have you never been tempted to try?" he whispered. Her scent enveloped him; lilac soap mingled with her own earthy musk, stirring his desires. But underneath it all, the unmistakeable odour of sickness and Lord Thanatos hovering far too close.
"Once," she replied softly. "It ended badly. I've never allowed myself to be so tempted again."
"And now?"
"It's too late."
He turned her in his arms to face him. She rested her hands against his chest almost as if to push him away, but she didn't push.
"It's never too late until it is too late, Laura," he husked, unable to keep the emotion from his voice. "Whatever time is left, a day or a decade, it is ours."
She nodded in agreement, and the emerald shards melted leaving clear pools in which he found himself and his love reflected.
He pulled her closer, swollen with desire as he covered her lips with his, attacking them as if to feast upon her. She moulded herself to him, fingers threading through his hair as she met him with equal ferocity. Only the need for air drove them apart; Laura moaned in protest as they broke the kiss.
"Let's make a promise, Laura," he said softly. "If the President promises to stay out of our bed, then the Admiral also promises to stay out." For his answer, she flung her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.
As they disengaged finally, he saw the wanton look in her eyes. "Except, of course," she said in a low, seductive voice, "those times we want to invite the President and the Admiral in for some fun."
It was Bill's turn to groan as his pants suddenly felt two sizes to small; he'd always suspected that she had a finely-honed sense of kink.
"All right," he replied, intrigued at the thought. "But only in the privacy of my quarters or yours. I can't afford to go to CIC in this condition," he said, hands on her ass pulling her firmly against him again to feel the consequences of her suggestion.
She laughed, low and throatily, wriggling her hips against him, eliciting another primal groan from him.
"All right," she agreed softly, "only in the privacy of our quarters."
Suddenly, it was like watching a cloud pass in front of the sun; there was palpable sorrow in her voice when she spoke again.
"Our world seems so small and confined," she said.
"No, not small," he replied. "Not if it's large within our hearts. I'm sorry, Laura," he said as she looked into his eyes. "I'm sorry I couldn't give you the justice and the closure you deserved."
"You can't be any less than the man you were always meant to be, William Adama," she whispered cupping his craggy cheek. "A good man, an honourable man--you don't have to apologise for that."
He shook his head sadly. "Honourable. Perhaps to you and the others, but lately I've come to know that I'm far from being an honourable man. I realised a few weeks ago that there have been a lot of things in my life--especially concerning Lee and Zak--that I wilfully blinded myself to, Laura. It's not a good feeling to know that you're as self-deluding as the next man, and because of it you're complicit in allowing the two people you loved the most to come to harm--especially when all the while you believed that you were doing what was best for the greater good."
Laura smiled as she caressed his face again with the back of her hand, one finger tracing his brow and the wrinkles at the corner of his eye. "My dear admiral," she said softly. "You don't get to decide whether you're honourable or not. Honour is in the eyes of the beholder."
All at once he was struck dumb by the woman in his arms; he looked deep into her eyes and saw wise Athena looking back at him.
"I love you, Laura," he husked out at last.
"I love you too, Bill," she replied and she kissed him.
As they broke the gentle kiss, he laid his forehead against hers and stared lovingly into her eyes. After a moment he laughed softly and stepped back as he said, "I think I should let you try to get a bit more rest. I have to get to the briefing, so it'll be at least an hour before we can tackle the question of Kara."
She nodded and they were silent for long moments.
"I can't promise we won't have some bad arguments, Bill--that's why I tried so hard to keep from falling in love with you."
"I know," he said as he took her hands in his. "We can only forge ahead, but I promise we'll do it together--because together, lady, we have cheated death himself, and I have to believe we can again."
"Yes," she replied surging into his arms and clinging tightly to him as she laid her head on his shoulder. "Always together, Bill ... always together."
Happy Marymas everyone! My first year celebrating!
Word Count: 1,710
Rating: T (PG-13)
Pairing: Adama/Roslin with implied Adama/Lee and Roslin/Lee (friendship)
Disclaimer: All belongs to the Lords of Kobol ... the only thing that's mine is my craziness.
Spoilers: To "Crossroads Part 2" ... everything from there is definitely my imagination. The third story in what I call my "Aftermath" series and is a follow-up to "Goodbye, Captain Apollo" and "Icarus' Choice".
Aftermath: To Chain Thanatos
William Adama nodded to the two sentries outside Galactica's Presidential Suite, as he privately referred to the VIP quarters Laura usually inhabited whenever she was on board. It was a far cry from the real thing she must have visited with President Adar in top-flight hotels back in the Colonies, but it was all he had to offer.
He knocked on the hatch, brow furrowing in concern when there was no reply for long moments. He'd stormed from his quarters, recognising that he was about to start another fight with Lee and wreck the fragile truce he'd built with his son only a few minutes before regarding Lee's participation in Baltar's trial and his subsequent treatment of Laura on the witness stand that had led to his exposure of her cancer's return.
"You went to her quarters?" he said in outrage, looking at the younger man in disbelief. "Knowing her condition, you went there and picked a fight with her at a time like this?"
"I didn't go there to pick a fight--I only wanted to apologise!" Lee shouted back, resentment flaring in his eyes to mix with the guilt already there. "But one thing led to another and we ended up fighting."
"Damn it to the Gods, Lee," Bill said, anger rising with the blood pounding in his ears, "she's just had a frakking diloxin treatment!"
Bill hurried to his hatch, stopping at the last minute at the threshold. "I have to go check on her," he said, meeting his son's gaze again. "I'll need a full report on pilot and flight deck status for the CIC briefing in an hour. Hopefully, by the time the briefing is over, Cottle will be finished his analysis."
Lee swallowed visibly and nodded. "Yes, sir," he replied. There was understanding in his eyes. Bill pushed through the hatch without a backward glance.
Bill tried the handle as he knocked again, firmly squelching the desire to pound on it. It was locked. After another moment, he heard the locking mechanism disengage. He pushed the hatch open and stepped inside, immediately closing it behind him.
Laura's face was pale and drawn in the dim light; she was dry-eyed, but her tears hung heavy in the air between them. The large, dark-coloured robe she wore seemed to swallow her up.
"Sorry, I was lying down," she said softly.
"No, I should apologise for disturbing your rest," he replied. They regarded each other awkwardly for a moment, and then he took the bull by the horn. "I just wanted to make sure you were all right--Lee told me that you'd fought. Are you all right?"
She looked away and walked stiffly to the armchair, lowering herself slowly into its cushioned depths.
"You know me, Bill," she said, not bothering to mask the bitterness in her voice. "I'm always all right. I'm dying, but not today. I can still do what needs to be done for this fleet."
"Laura--" he began gently; it hurt--almost physically--to hear that bitterness.
"Saul had the right of it back on New Caprica," she continued as if he hadn't spoken. "I had ice water in my veins. I stupidly allowed it to thaw--but I see my mistake now." She met his gaze again. "I'd forgotten that out here in the cold dark of space, ice is exactly what should be in ones veins. Don't worry, it's all crystallising quite clearly now. I won't forget again."
"Don't," he said, hating the coldness in her tone and in her hard, jade-green eyes, which lent an extra chill to her words.
"Don't what, Bill?" she said in that same icy tone that speared his heart. She rose from the chair, at once a contradiction of blazing fire and inexorable ice as she advanced on him. "I'm sick and tired of this shit, and I won't do it to myself anymore." She laughed bitterly. "Life's too frakking short, and mine's apt to be a hell of a lot shorter than most. So, once and for all, Bill; what in all the black of Hades do you and your son want from me?"
And it suddenly struck him--with the force of a Viper round to the gut--that she'd given him an ultimatum; it was now or never.
"To be family," he replied simply.
Laura stared at him--naked desire warred with utter shock. Bill was at once delighted with and ashamed of that expression; ashamed because it told him that she'd never expected his answer--he didn't think that he'd hidden his love for her that well--and delighted because it told him that this was the answer she'd wanted.
She turned from him, slender body taut like a bow string, small hands curled in fists at her side--silent testament to her hard-won control.
"I've never been "wife" material, Bill," she said hoarsely, her back still to him. "And I'm certainly not cut out to be anyone's mother."
Bill walked over to her and wrapped his arms about her waist from behind. She stiffened for a moment and then relaxed into him, covering his hands with her own.
"Have you never been tempted to try?" he whispered. Her scent enveloped him; lilac soap mingled with her own earthy musk, stirring his desires. But underneath it all, the unmistakeable odour of sickness and Lord Thanatos hovering far too close.
"Once," she replied softly. "It ended badly. I've never allowed myself to be so tempted again."
"And now?"
"It's too late."
He turned her in his arms to face him. She rested her hands against his chest almost as if to push him away, but she didn't push.
"It's never too late until it is too late, Laura," he husked, unable to keep the emotion from his voice. "Whatever time is left, a day or a decade, it is ours."
She nodded in agreement, and the emerald shards melted leaving clear pools in which he found himself and his love reflected.
He pulled her closer, swollen with desire as he covered her lips with his, attacking them as if to feast upon her. She moulded herself to him, fingers threading through his hair as she met him with equal ferocity. Only the need for air drove them apart; Laura moaned in protest as they broke the kiss.
"Let's make a promise, Laura," he said softly. "If the President promises to stay out of our bed, then the Admiral also promises to stay out." For his answer, she flung her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.
As they disengaged finally, he saw the wanton look in her eyes. "Except, of course," she said in a low, seductive voice, "those times we want to invite the President and the Admiral in for some fun."
It was Bill's turn to groan as his pants suddenly felt two sizes to small; he'd always suspected that she had a finely-honed sense of kink.
"All right," he replied, intrigued at the thought. "But only in the privacy of my quarters or yours. I can't afford to go to CIC in this condition," he said, hands on her ass pulling her firmly against him again to feel the consequences of her suggestion.
She laughed, low and throatily, wriggling her hips against him, eliciting another primal groan from him.
"All right," she agreed softly, "only in the privacy of our quarters."
Suddenly, it was like watching a cloud pass in front of the sun; there was palpable sorrow in her voice when she spoke again.
"Our world seems so small and confined," she said.
"No, not small," he replied. "Not if it's large within our hearts. I'm sorry, Laura," he said as she looked into his eyes. "I'm sorry I couldn't give you the justice and the closure you deserved."
"You can't be any less than the man you were always meant to be, William Adama," she whispered cupping his craggy cheek. "A good man, an honourable man--you don't have to apologise for that."
He shook his head sadly. "Honourable. Perhaps to you and the others, but lately I've come to know that I'm far from being an honourable man. I realised a few weeks ago that there have been a lot of things in my life--especially concerning Lee and Zak--that I wilfully blinded myself to, Laura. It's not a good feeling to know that you're as self-deluding as the next man, and because of it you're complicit in allowing the two people you loved the most to come to harm--especially when all the while you believed that you were doing what was best for the greater good."
Laura smiled as she caressed his face again with the back of her hand, one finger tracing his brow and the wrinkles at the corner of his eye. "My dear admiral," she said softly. "You don't get to decide whether you're honourable or not. Honour is in the eyes of the beholder."
All at once he was struck dumb by the woman in his arms; he looked deep into her eyes and saw wise Athena looking back at him.
"I love you, Laura," he husked out at last.
"I love you too, Bill," she replied and she kissed him.
As they broke the gentle kiss, he laid his forehead against hers and stared lovingly into her eyes. After a moment he laughed softly and stepped back as he said, "I think I should let you try to get a bit more rest. I have to get to the briefing, so it'll be at least an hour before we can tackle the question of Kara."
She nodded and they were silent for long moments.
"I can't promise we won't have some bad arguments, Bill--that's why I tried so hard to keep from falling in love with you."
"I know," he said as he took her hands in his. "We can only forge ahead, but I promise we'll do it together--because together, lady, we have cheated death himself, and I have to believe we can again."
"Yes," she replied surging into his arms and clinging tightly to him as she laid her head on his shoulder. "Always together, Bill ... always together."
Happy Marymas everyone! My first year celebrating!