FIC: Re-cast (scar!verse), ch 14/? rated PG Jensen/Jared
Title: Re-cast (scar!verse) ch 14/?
Author: Ladyjanelly
Rating: PG
Characters: Jensen/Jared,
Summary: Jensen stopped acting in 2000. He still runs into Jared.
Warning: Men sexing men, AU.
Disclaimer: Never happened, not my boys.
Feedback: Is always appreciated-- praise, crit, all of it.
Thanks to jellicle for reading it over for me.
Jared orders pancakes from room service the next morning. They’re not as good as his momma’s or Jensen's but they’ll do. It’s nice to take a break from their “vacation” and just sit around the room in their fluffy white hotel robes. He’s halfway through his stack when he notices Jensen watching him instead of eating, a soft contemplative look on his face.
“What’s up?” Jared asks, wiping his face in case it’s some stray glob of food that’s caught Jen's attention.
Jensen shrugs, not quite comfortable. “I just--I don’t think I said thank you last night.”
Jared’s not sure how to respond to that. It was no big deal and mostly just a fuck-up that happened to turn out okay. It’s not like he planned on getting slapped by Jensen's mom and then having her spill her darkest secrets on his shoulder.
Instead of stumbling through some stupid half-apology, he pretends he misunderstood the statement, grinning and doing that lewd thing with his eyebrows. “You weren’t so bad yourself. I’ve got no complaints.”
Jensen snickers and the tension fades. “You know what I mean.”
Jared doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of seeing Jensen smile. “I’ll take gratitude in the form of sexual favors if you really want to show your appreciation.”
Jensen slides his plate to the side and his gaze turns down-right predatory. Jared’s gulp is loud in the quiet of the room as his lover stalks towards him. Those strong masseuse’s fingers tangle in his hair and tip his head back and Jared’s so fucking hard even before Jensen's teeth graze along his throat.
“I’ll show you appreciation.” Jensen's voice is low, halfway between a growl and a whispered promise; he makes the word sound like something wicked and dirty.
Jensen's a man of his word, and by the time he’s done, Jared has no doubt that he’s a valued part of this relationship. He’s sweaty and satisfied. There are teeth-marks on his shoulder and an impressive hickey at the point of his hip. Jensen wiped him down after, but the skin of his thigh and stomach still feels tight with the dried sheen of their orgasms.
They sprawl on the bed next to each other, just being close as their breathing settles and their hearts stop pounding. Jared rolls onto his side, and can’t help but smile at how exhausted and fucked out Jensen looks. His lips are flushed and the line of his scar is darker even than the blush on his cheek.
Jared doesn’t think about it, but his fingers find the ridge and valley of scar tissue and trace it slowly.
“You’ve never asked,” Jensen says, and Jared realizes he hasn’t.
“Didn’t seem like my place to.” Jared frowns, wondering if he was supposed to ask earlier instead of respecting Jensen's privacy so much. “I thought if you wanted me to know, you’d tell me.” He continues to stroke his lover’s cheek, fascinated, as always, by the contrasting textures, the rasp of stubble and the soft smooth skin above the beard line, the way the scar cuts through both.
“I didn’t want you to not-know,” Jensen says, the corners of his lips quirking up.
And that sounds like an invitation for Jared to ask now or forever hold his peace. “Why?” he asks without thinking the question through. “I mean--why do you still have it? Your mom said--I’m not saying it’s bad or anything, just--why?”
A muscle twitches in Jensen's jaw, and Jared has a second of fear that he’s asked the wrong question.
Jensen swallows and takes a deep breath. “At first?” he says, “I just--didn’t want anybody to touch me. Not the doctors, not Martin.” His lips twist. “I changed the dressing myself and wouldn’t let anybody see. They called to schedule taking the stitches out and I did that myself too.”
Jared wants to go back in time and just hold that Jensen who was so hurt and scared and alone but he can’t.
“I--I lost my job,” Jensen says, “I moved from L.A. with Martin because he had a recurring role, but when we got to Vancouver he said I was too high maintenance and we split up.” Jensen cracks a wry smile. “I had a three month long pity-party and when it was over I figured I had to do something with my life so I went out and got a loan and started school.
“I was a new person, and it was like--the new person I was had been born with the scar. It was part of me and I didn’t have to be ‘pretty’ or perfect, I could just be.”
Jared kisses the corner of Jensen's mouth and Jensen makes this exhausted, breathy, laugh. “I’ve never--never said all that to one person.”
Jared rolls half-over Jensen and throws a leg across his thighs.
“You are perfect,” he says, kissing at the corner of Jensen's mouth. “I--I want to be with you.”
A flicker of confusion passes over Jensen's face and Jared is so afraid that if he doesn’t keep talking that he’ll never get up the nerve to say it again. This needs a ring though, and something more romantic than post morning-glory bliss. He runs his fingers through Jensen's tousled hair and lets the moment go. He feels his lover relax again underneath him and thinks maybe it was for the best to not spring this on him now--this whole family thing has him stressed out, and even happy news could be a little much.
“So what do you want to do until two?” Jared asks, oh-so-smoothly changing the subject.
Jensen worries his own lower lip with his teeth for a second.
“Would you hate it if we went early to help with the barbeque?”
--------
They get to Jensen's parents’ house at noon. The front door is open and Alan and some younger guy that Jared hasn’t met are carrying covered dishes towards a waiting car. Jensen grins and heads over, lifting the platter from his dad with a wink. He falls in behind the other man, smirking like the devil.
Jared grins himself as Jensen strolls all nonchalant behind his unsuspecting target. The guy puts his load in the back seat of a car and turns around and Jensen's right there beside him.
“Jensen!” the man says and grabs him in a hug that almost makes Jensen drop the tray he’s carrying. They laugh and juggle it between them and into the car and then Jensen is hugged again.
Jared takes the moment to study the new guy. If Jensen looks like an actor, this guy looks like his stunt-double. They’re the same height, almost the exact same build. The other’s hair is shorter, his features coarser somehow. The differences are subtle; his ears are a little bigger, his face a little more compact. His lips are wider than Jensen's and not as full. He’s not ugly, but the angles are all wrong for him to be attractive.
Jared’s not a bit surprised when Jensen turns and grins at him, one arm still looped over the other’s shoulder, and announces “Jared, I’d like you to meet my brother Josh. Josh, this is my Jared.”
And God, what a thrill those words send through Jared’s heart. That Jensen thinks of Jared as his. He manages to put aside his glee and offer his hand to Jensen's brother.
“Nice to meet you, Josh.”
His overture is met with ice. Josh looks at the hand, then up at Jared’s face, and turns back to Jensen like the exchange hadn’t even happened. “So you here to help haul stuff to the park? Mom’s outdone herself this year. It’s a good thing you’ve got that truck.”
“Josh,” Jensen groans, “Can’t you at least get to know Jared before you start trying to chase him off?”
He looks at Jared, a helpless desperation in his eyes, torn between his brother, who he obviously loves, and ‘his Jared.’
“Hey, no,” Jared says with a crooked grin. He can live with this as long as Jensen isn’t hurting in the crossfire. “He can take his time getting’ to know me. I don’t run off easy.”
With that bit of moral high ground as his own, he shrugs and surrenders the field. “I’ll go see if you parents need anything else carried out.”
Jensen and Josh are still talking when he heads into the house, tense words that Jared doesn’t think are meant for his ears.
Donna’s managing the kitchen like a little general, instructing Alan and two young women on what needs to go in the car now and what needs to be put in a cooler and what can go in the back of a truck. Jared gives her a quick salute and says “Reporting for duty, ma’am.”
That gets him a smile and, to his surprise, a quick hug. He’s introduced to Jensen's sister MacKenzie, and Josh’s wife Sarah. Donna calls him “Jensen's significant friend,” which he thinks is a step in the right direction for her, even if she blushes like mad as she says it.
The two women smile at him between tasks and say their hellos. He takes it as a good thing that they seem at least neutral on his presence.
Donna makes a fuss about him helping out, all “You’re a guest, Jared. You shouldn’t have to work on your vacation, but if you really want to, this pile is ready to go. If you really want to.”
Jared’s nowhere near fool enough to say no, and he grabs the heaviest looking thing he can find, a box full of 2 liter bottles of soda, and heads out to the truck with it.
Jensen and his brother are still talking when Jared steps out the door, but they break apart, Josh heading back into the house and Jensen falling into step with Jared.
“Hey,” Jensen says, his voice all serious. “I’m--”
“You don’t have to apologize,” Jared cuts in. “Look. I’m okay. I think I can handle one member of your family at a time hating me.”
“He doesn’t--he just doesn’t understand,” Jensen says as Jared puts the box in the back of the truck. When Jared’s hands are empty he moves closer, standing with his shoulder against Jensen's.
“I love you,” Jared whispers, and it feels like something so special, so sacred. “This is your family and you love them too. I’m not gonna make you choose.”
“Look,” says Jensen, “If it’s too much, at any point, just say the word and we’ll go. I mean it.”
------------
The barbeque itself is a huge affair. Jensen's parents have rented out a fifty-foot pavilion and the twenty or so stone tables that skirt it. The playground at one end is full of laughing and screaming kids, under the watchful eyes of a few adults.
Josh stands at a grill made from a fifty-five gallon drum on a trailer, cooking what seems like a flock of chickens and half a cow.
It’s all cool. It’s normal. Big southern family and friends and whoever else got invited out eating good food and getting some sun. Jensen introduces him around. There are a few uncertain reactions, a couple oblivious, and every now and then a warm, knowing smile.
They take their turn watching the kids. Jared laughs at the chorus of “Uncle Jenny! Uncle Jenny!” as Jensen gives piggy-back rides and airplane spins and pushes on the swings.
“Jenny?” Jared snickers when they get a quiet second.
Jensen grins. “Tell anybody about that and I’ll kill you.”
It’s so hard not to wrap him into a hug, to kiss him breathless. Jared’s not sure where he finds the strength to resist.
Around six, the party starts to break up. Sleepy youngsters are gathered by their parents; doggy-plates are made for people who were working or whatever and couldn’t make it out. Jensen nods over towards where his mother is stripping the tables of their plastic tablecloths.
“I’m gonna go and--” He falters, but Jared gets that Jensen's not even sure what will happen if he talks to his mom.
“Yeah,” says Jared, “Go ahead. Good luck.”
He watches Jensen head over, and then looks around for something to keep himself useful and busy so he doesn’t give into the temptation to eavesdrop.
“Hey,” a voice calls from behind him, and Jared turns to see Josh standing there. “Can I get you to help me hitch the grill to the truck?”
Jared figures that this is it, Josh’s best chance to try to run him off yet, but he nods and smiles. “Sure, no problem.”
Together, they manhandle the grill into position, get the trailer attached and the lights connected. Jared glances over, and Jensen's huggin’ his momma. He figures that looks like progress, and he smiles at the sight.
“Hey,” says Josh again, and Jared glances his way. The older man is looking uncomfortable, and Jared braces himself.
“I just want to say,” Josh starts, “I know my brother thinks I’m some closet homophobe, but he’s wrong. I love Jensen and I just want to see him happy. The guys he’s brought to meet me--” he shakes his head, “Lets just say my brother has shit for taste. Most of the time.”
Jared’s shoulders tense. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. The way he was today, the way he smiled? I’ve never seen that before. You keep putting that smile on his face and I’ve got no problem with you at all.”
Jared feels the grin spreading over his face. “Um, cool.”
Josh smiles back, and Jared thinks the warmth in his eyes makes up for a hell of a lot.
By the time Jensen wanders back over they’re laughing and joking. Josh is telling embarrassing stories of Jensen's teen years--his year in Bell Guard (some cheerleader thing), being voted “Most Attractive Male” out of his senior class.
“I think I liked it better when you two didn’t get along,” Jensen says as he comes within hearing distance of that conversation.
“Don’t worry,” Jared assures him, “I’m sure my brother’ll think of something twice as embarrassing to tell you when we get down there.”
Almost everyone else has gone by then, and Jared’s not too surprised when Jensen's arm loops around his waist. Josh grins and wanders off to finish loading up the truck.
“How’d things go with your mom?” Jared asks, half-afraid of the answer.
“Good,” Jensen answers after a second of thought. “I think she believes me. Finally. I think she’ll come around.”
An hour later they’ve said their goodbyes and are in the truck on the way to San Antonio. Jared starts to relax. After this weekend, introducing Jensen to his family is gonna be a piece of cake, right?
Author: Ladyjanelly
Rating: PG
Characters: Jensen/Jared,
Summary: Jensen stopped acting in 2000. He still runs into Jared.
Warning: Men sexing men, AU.
Disclaimer: Never happened, not my boys.
Feedback: Is always appreciated-- praise, crit, all of it.
Thanks to jellicle for reading it over for me.
Jared orders pancakes from room service the next morning. They’re not as good as his momma’s or Jensen's but they’ll do. It’s nice to take a break from their “vacation” and just sit around the room in their fluffy white hotel robes. He’s halfway through his stack when he notices Jensen watching him instead of eating, a soft contemplative look on his face.
“What’s up?” Jared asks, wiping his face in case it’s some stray glob of food that’s caught Jen's attention.
Jensen shrugs, not quite comfortable. “I just--I don’t think I said thank you last night.”
Jared’s not sure how to respond to that. It was no big deal and mostly just a fuck-up that happened to turn out okay. It’s not like he planned on getting slapped by Jensen's mom and then having her spill her darkest secrets on his shoulder.
Instead of stumbling through some stupid half-apology, he pretends he misunderstood the statement, grinning and doing that lewd thing with his eyebrows. “You weren’t so bad yourself. I’ve got no complaints.”
Jensen snickers and the tension fades. “You know what I mean.”
Jared doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of seeing Jensen smile. “I’ll take gratitude in the form of sexual favors if you really want to show your appreciation.”
Jensen slides his plate to the side and his gaze turns down-right predatory. Jared’s gulp is loud in the quiet of the room as his lover stalks towards him. Those strong masseuse’s fingers tangle in his hair and tip his head back and Jared’s so fucking hard even before Jensen's teeth graze along his throat.
“I’ll show you appreciation.” Jensen's voice is low, halfway between a growl and a whispered promise; he makes the word sound like something wicked and dirty.
Jensen's a man of his word, and by the time he’s done, Jared has no doubt that he’s a valued part of this relationship. He’s sweaty and satisfied. There are teeth-marks on his shoulder and an impressive hickey at the point of his hip. Jensen wiped him down after, but the skin of his thigh and stomach still feels tight with the dried sheen of their orgasms.
They sprawl on the bed next to each other, just being close as their breathing settles and their hearts stop pounding. Jared rolls onto his side, and can’t help but smile at how exhausted and fucked out Jensen looks. His lips are flushed and the line of his scar is darker even than the blush on his cheek.
Jared doesn’t think about it, but his fingers find the ridge and valley of scar tissue and trace it slowly.
“You’ve never asked,” Jensen says, and Jared realizes he hasn’t.
“Didn’t seem like my place to.” Jared frowns, wondering if he was supposed to ask earlier instead of respecting Jensen's privacy so much. “I thought if you wanted me to know, you’d tell me.” He continues to stroke his lover’s cheek, fascinated, as always, by the contrasting textures, the rasp of stubble and the soft smooth skin above the beard line, the way the scar cuts through both.
“I didn’t want you to not-know,” Jensen says, the corners of his lips quirking up.
And that sounds like an invitation for Jared to ask now or forever hold his peace. “Why?” he asks without thinking the question through. “I mean--why do you still have it? Your mom said--I’m not saying it’s bad or anything, just--why?”
A muscle twitches in Jensen's jaw, and Jared has a second of fear that he’s asked the wrong question.
Jensen swallows and takes a deep breath. “At first?” he says, “I just--didn’t want anybody to touch me. Not the doctors, not Martin.” His lips twist. “I changed the dressing myself and wouldn’t let anybody see. They called to schedule taking the stitches out and I did that myself too.”
Jared wants to go back in time and just hold that Jensen who was so hurt and scared and alone but he can’t.
“I--I lost my job,” Jensen says, “I moved from L.A. with Martin because he had a recurring role, but when we got to Vancouver he said I was too high maintenance and we split up.” Jensen cracks a wry smile. “I had a three month long pity-party and when it was over I figured I had to do something with my life so I went out and got a loan and started school.
“I was a new person, and it was like--the new person I was had been born with the scar. It was part of me and I didn’t have to be ‘pretty’ or perfect, I could just be.”
Jared kisses the corner of Jensen's mouth and Jensen makes this exhausted, breathy, laugh. “I’ve never--never said all that to one person.”
Jared rolls half-over Jensen and throws a leg across his thighs.
“You are perfect,” he says, kissing at the corner of Jensen's mouth. “I--I want to be with you.”
A flicker of confusion passes over Jensen's face and Jared is so afraid that if he doesn’t keep talking that he’ll never get up the nerve to say it again. This needs a ring though, and something more romantic than post morning-glory bliss. He runs his fingers through Jensen's tousled hair and lets the moment go. He feels his lover relax again underneath him and thinks maybe it was for the best to not spring this on him now--this whole family thing has him stressed out, and even happy news could be a little much.
“So what do you want to do until two?” Jared asks, oh-so-smoothly changing the subject.
Jensen worries his own lower lip with his teeth for a second.
“Would you hate it if we went early to help with the barbeque?”
--------
They get to Jensen's parents’ house at noon. The front door is open and Alan and some younger guy that Jared hasn’t met are carrying covered dishes towards a waiting car. Jensen grins and heads over, lifting the platter from his dad with a wink. He falls in behind the other man, smirking like the devil.
Jared grins himself as Jensen strolls all nonchalant behind his unsuspecting target. The guy puts his load in the back seat of a car and turns around and Jensen's right there beside him.
“Jensen!” the man says and grabs him in a hug that almost makes Jensen drop the tray he’s carrying. They laugh and juggle it between them and into the car and then Jensen is hugged again.
Jared takes the moment to study the new guy. If Jensen looks like an actor, this guy looks like his stunt-double. They’re the same height, almost the exact same build. The other’s hair is shorter, his features coarser somehow. The differences are subtle; his ears are a little bigger, his face a little more compact. His lips are wider than Jensen's and not as full. He’s not ugly, but the angles are all wrong for him to be attractive.
Jared’s not a bit surprised when Jensen turns and grins at him, one arm still looped over the other’s shoulder, and announces “Jared, I’d like you to meet my brother Josh. Josh, this is my Jared.”
And God, what a thrill those words send through Jared’s heart. That Jensen thinks of Jared as his. He manages to put aside his glee and offer his hand to Jensen's brother.
“Nice to meet you, Josh.”
His overture is met with ice. Josh looks at the hand, then up at Jared’s face, and turns back to Jensen like the exchange hadn’t even happened. “So you here to help haul stuff to the park? Mom’s outdone herself this year. It’s a good thing you’ve got that truck.”
“Josh,” Jensen groans, “Can’t you at least get to know Jared before you start trying to chase him off?”
He looks at Jared, a helpless desperation in his eyes, torn between his brother, who he obviously loves, and ‘his Jared.’
“Hey, no,” Jared says with a crooked grin. He can live with this as long as Jensen isn’t hurting in the crossfire. “He can take his time getting’ to know me. I don’t run off easy.”
With that bit of moral high ground as his own, he shrugs and surrenders the field. “I’ll go see if you parents need anything else carried out.”
Jensen and Josh are still talking when he heads into the house, tense words that Jared doesn’t think are meant for his ears.
Donna’s managing the kitchen like a little general, instructing Alan and two young women on what needs to go in the car now and what needs to be put in a cooler and what can go in the back of a truck. Jared gives her a quick salute and says “Reporting for duty, ma’am.”
That gets him a smile and, to his surprise, a quick hug. He’s introduced to Jensen's sister MacKenzie, and Josh’s wife Sarah. Donna calls him “Jensen's significant friend,” which he thinks is a step in the right direction for her, even if she blushes like mad as she says it.
The two women smile at him between tasks and say their hellos. He takes it as a good thing that they seem at least neutral on his presence.
Donna makes a fuss about him helping out, all “You’re a guest, Jared. You shouldn’t have to work on your vacation, but if you really want to, this pile is ready to go. If you really want to.”
Jared’s nowhere near fool enough to say no, and he grabs the heaviest looking thing he can find, a box full of 2 liter bottles of soda, and heads out to the truck with it.
Jensen and his brother are still talking when Jared steps out the door, but they break apart, Josh heading back into the house and Jensen falling into step with Jared.
“Hey,” Jensen says, his voice all serious. “I’m--”
“You don’t have to apologize,” Jared cuts in. “Look. I’m okay. I think I can handle one member of your family at a time hating me.”
“He doesn’t--he just doesn’t understand,” Jensen says as Jared puts the box in the back of the truck. When Jared’s hands are empty he moves closer, standing with his shoulder against Jensen's.
“I love you,” Jared whispers, and it feels like something so special, so sacred. “This is your family and you love them too. I’m not gonna make you choose.”
“Look,” says Jensen, “If it’s too much, at any point, just say the word and we’ll go. I mean it.”
------------
The barbeque itself is a huge affair. Jensen's parents have rented out a fifty-foot pavilion and the twenty or so stone tables that skirt it. The playground at one end is full of laughing and screaming kids, under the watchful eyes of a few adults.
Josh stands at a grill made from a fifty-five gallon drum on a trailer, cooking what seems like a flock of chickens and half a cow.
It’s all cool. It’s normal. Big southern family and friends and whoever else got invited out eating good food and getting some sun. Jensen introduces him around. There are a few uncertain reactions, a couple oblivious, and every now and then a warm, knowing smile.
They take their turn watching the kids. Jared laughs at the chorus of “Uncle Jenny! Uncle Jenny!” as Jensen gives piggy-back rides and airplane spins and pushes on the swings.
“Jenny?” Jared snickers when they get a quiet second.
Jensen grins. “Tell anybody about that and I’ll kill you.”
It’s so hard not to wrap him into a hug, to kiss him breathless. Jared’s not sure where he finds the strength to resist.
Around six, the party starts to break up. Sleepy youngsters are gathered by their parents; doggy-plates are made for people who were working or whatever and couldn’t make it out. Jensen nods over towards where his mother is stripping the tables of their plastic tablecloths.
“I’m gonna go and--” He falters, but Jared gets that Jensen's not even sure what will happen if he talks to his mom.
“Yeah,” says Jared, “Go ahead. Good luck.”
He watches Jensen head over, and then looks around for something to keep himself useful and busy so he doesn’t give into the temptation to eavesdrop.
“Hey,” a voice calls from behind him, and Jared turns to see Josh standing there. “Can I get you to help me hitch the grill to the truck?”
Jared figures that this is it, Josh’s best chance to try to run him off yet, but he nods and smiles. “Sure, no problem.”
Together, they manhandle the grill into position, get the trailer attached and the lights connected. Jared glances over, and Jensen's huggin’ his momma. He figures that looks like progress, and he smiles at the sight.
“Hey,” says Josh again, and Jared glances his way. The older man is looking uncomfortable, and Jared braces himself.
“I just want to say,” Josh starts, “I know my brother thinks I’m some closet homophobe, but he’s wrong. I love Jensen and I just want to see him happy. The guys he’s brought to meet me--” he shakes his head, “Lets just say my brother has shit for taste. Most of the time.”
Jared’s shoulders tense. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. The way he was today, the way he smiled? I’ve never seen that before. You keep putting that smile on his face and I’ve got no problem with you at all.”
Jared feels the grin spreading over his face. “Um, cool.”
Josh smiles back, and Jared thinks the warmth in his eyes makes up for a hell of a lot.
By the time Jensen wanders back over they’re laughing and joking. Josh is telling embarrassing stories of Jensen's teen years--his year in Bell Guard (some cheerleader thing), being voted “Most Attractive Male” out of his senior class.
“I think I liked it better when you two didn’t get along,” Jensen says as he comes within hearing distance of that conversation.
“Don’t worry,” Jared assures him, “I’m sure my brother’ll think of something twice as embarrassing to tell you when we get down there.”
Almost everyone else has gone by then, and Jared’s not too surprised when Jensen's arm loops around his waist. Josh grins and wanders off to finish loading up the truck.
“How’d things go with your mom?” Jared asks, half-afraid of the answer.
“Good,” Jensen answers after a second of thought. “I think she believes me. Finally. I think she’ll come around.”
An hour later they’ve said their goodbyes and are in the truck on the way to San Antonio. Jared starts to relax. After this weekend, introducing Jensen to his family is gonna be a piece of cake, right?