What's up with Janelly
It's been a weird few weeks. Not realy bad, just weird.
I feel profoundly disconnected from myself. I feel like I have no idea what my body's trying to say--is that hungry or tired or thirsty? Eating is a "because I should" sort of thing instead of "reaction to hunger" thing. I'm sleeping more. Or just not getting up. I think that's partly because of the cold. I do that every winter.
I feel disconnected from my emotions. Everything is like a distant echo of what I should be feeling. In some ways it's nice, because I'm less stressed about--well, everything. On the other hand, I feel like it's a waste of money for me to go to the movies or whatever.
I got the test-thing for gall-bladder function on friday. That was interesting. three hours with an IV in my arm lying on a table with an x-ray lookin' thing above me as I freakin' froze to death. They should know something in a few days.
I was diagnosed with depression ten days ago so I'm on meds for that now. I always thought I'd be very angry if I ever found myself in this situation, but I don't feel much of anything. It's like it's someone else, not me. It's really weird.
I really want to write this week. I put down 8 words of model-verse today. It felt like an accomplishment.
I'm still going to the gym and Amtgard. I am pleased with how my body's looking these days. I'm down to 158 (losing about 1-2 lbs a week, so it's all reasonable). Clothes that didn't fit a month ago fit again. It's pretty cool.
HOpe everything is good with all of y'all. Sorry if I've been weird or distant or whatever these past weeks.