Just...Life...Being....Hard....What Else is New?
Let's see:
Last Saturday: was sick all day with a horrible headache/sinus/allergies thing which caused me to stay in bed and do nothing, so I didn't get any work done and felt horrible about it.
Sunday: Was planning on picking up Paul from work and heading to church, but something else happened that made the rest of my day absolute hell with no relaxation at all: My dad suffers from vertigo spells as you know, and while my mom and I were downstairs working on laundry and the like, I heard a crash upstairs, ran up the stairs, and saw my dad falling, SHAKING VIOLENTLY ALL OVER to the floor in the dining room. I rushd over to him and screamed "Dad Dad Dad!" and his eyes were rolled back into his head and he his arms, legs, his whole body was shaking as if it was a seizure, but he was still completely aware, and since my mom and I were scared shitless, we called 911. They came and he had stopped shaking by then, but they didn't know for sure if it had been a seizure or what. We ended up spending four hours at the hospital, I was crying the entire time, and it was agonizing because I have never seen my dad shake like that when he has vertigo, so it was horrifying and i was still in shock over it all. The only good thing about Sunday was the fact that Paul, as soon as I let him know about what was going on, got on a bus from Bellevue and came all the way to Ballard to be with me in the hospital lobby to hold my hand. He even spent the night because we were all shaken up. Fortunately my dad didn't have to stay, and of course with all of today's technology and modern medicine, they still couldn't figure out why my dad reacted the way he did. Of course.
Monday: went to class, and then spent three hours at the library working on my Shakespeare paper. Exhausting.
Tuesday(today): went to SBOC to work in classrooms. It was exhausting today also because it was like all the kids decided to take "bad behavior" pills this morning and act it out during the classes. GOD in HEAVEN I thought I was going to scream. I had no patience for these kids today, and it made me feel bad about it later, but also I just am having a hard time, and I guess its just teaching me something I already knew: no way in HELL am I going to be a teacher. Even the teachers at SBOC were frustrated today with the kids. UGH.
I was so tired after that today I came home and passed out. I decided to just cop out for the rest of the day, because I didn't get a lot of sleep last night and the last few nights either, so *uck it. I need the rest. Then I'll be gung ho tomorrow at the library. And Friday and Saturday too. *sigh*. I just wish there were two of me so one could work on one paper, the other one could work on the other. It would be so much easier. Plus I feel like my brain is about to explode with all the knowledge I'm stuffing it with about Shakespeare and Jane Austen. I can't wait for all of this to be OVER.
My consolation: God, Family, Paul, Friends.
Prayer is needed guys, PRAYER is needed- I just need strength to get these stupid papers done and then I will be happy chelsea once again.