GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
My school life feels like my icon - books being stuffed into my face. I wish I could in a word, SPIT them out.
Much of the stuff I am required to read just lets me know that in the future, I won't have to read literature like it. I'll basically know the good lit from the bad lit. I hate to say that about my quite expensive education but there it is.
Also, I am really frustrated with my capstone class. It's supposed to help you organize a resume, cover letter and get you connected with internships and shit like that - but honestly all I've gotten is this: "Well there's all these websites you should check out". Wonderful. No contact with a human, how personal and unscary that is....NOT. That makes me even more terrified because I DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM DOING. It's not making me feel less stressed, its just causing me more stress and NO, I DON'T HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE DAMMIT.
UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Which is why, I am listening to The Sound of Music. Seriously, Maria makes me feel better about how to approach life. I'm just frustrated about life(except for my relationship with Paul because that's going extremely well), where my life is going because I have no idea and I don't really know where to take it from here. I'm afraid of making a big mistake and choosing something that makes me miserable and hate my life.
Honestly, I don't have time for a freaking part time job, because I'm up in a river of schoolwork and worries about it all getting done. Plus transportation is an issue. The bus sucks so NO, I'm not going to take it. My boyfriend has to take the bus everyday, and he hates it because it takes him two hours to get home. Buses suck butt, I don't care who you are. Plus, a girl just got groped or whatever on the bus the other day in Seattle, so NO WAY do I want to ride the bus.
*sigh* I'm going to go to bed and think about Paul. That is pretty much my only consolation at this point....
At least there's a few people I know who are kinda in the same situation. My friend Ellie who is awesome and in my capstone class, totally gets it and she doesn't judge me or tell me what to do, she just LISTENS. Same with Paul, I tell him things, and he doesn't judge me or tell me what to do at all, he just says I'll figure it out and rubs my back and listens as well. He gets where I am coming from. Its such a relief. At least I'm not alone in my frustrations....