Not Valentine's Day
I don't want there to be a Valentine's Day this year. I definitely don't want it to be next week.
Anyone who is reading this: My journal is not going to entertaining for a while. I’m sorry, but there it is.
We went to the first counseling session. It went alright, but it seems like we have a million miles to go to get to the place we are hoping to get to.
I feel confused most of the time as though everything is upside down that I thought was right-side up, or as though I woke up in another country where I don't speak the language or know the customs. My life is surreal on a daily basis now, and not in a good way.
I don't know what to do about any of this except just go through it and that is very hard for me. I want to DO something, but there is nothing to DO except try to go about life as usual.
Of course that means I am pretending that life is as usual. Ha.
I feel like I am going around comforting HIM and that makes no sense. That is not all I am doing, of course, but I don't know how to not want to smooth over our fights or make sure he is not mad or upset.
I have to not think about it. Not think about the betrayal. Put it into a little box off to the side.
So far I really suck at that.
Anyone who is reading this: My journal is not going to entertaining for a while. I’m sorry, but there it is.
We went to the first counseling session. It went alright, but it seems like we have a million miles to go to get to the place we are hoping to get to.
I feel confused most of the time as though everything is upside down that I thought was right-side up, or as though I woke up in another country where I don't speak the language or know the customs. My life is surreal on a daily basis now, and not in a good way.
I don't know what to do about any of this except just go through it and that is very hard for me. I want to DO something, but there is nothing to DO except try to go about life as usual.
Of course that means I am pretending that life is as usual. Ha.
I feel like I am going around comforting HIM and that makes no sense. That is not all I am doing, of course, but I don't know how to not want to smooth over our fights or make sure he is not mad or upset.
I have to not think about it. Not think about the betrayal. Put it into a little box off to the side.
So far I really suck at that.