Sorry, Facebook. I'm Done.
About a week ago, I decided to take a break from Facebook.
Of course, they don't offer any sensible way to do this (i.e. setting a vacation message), so I made a couple graphics…
My contact info was also the top post on my profile, so yeah… I did everything I could to make it as easy/obvious as possible.
Not obvious enough, apparently. I checked Facebook this evening and I had a slew of messages. It seems most people didn't even realize I was gone.
This infuriated me, though not at those people. It's Facebook I have a problem with, all the more so because most people don't seem to realize and/or care how manipulative they are. I've spent 16 years developing websites - it's easy for me to provide options for away/vacation messages, and I'm just one person. Do you really think the entire Facebook dev team couldn't figure out how to do it if they wanted to?
… if they wanted to.
That's really the point, isn't it? They don't want you to take a break. They don't want you to be able to redirect your friends elsewhere, forward your messages, anything like that. Why? Because they want you to be as addicted to/dependent on that site as possible. It really is as simple as that.
So I quit. Well, I didn't do it yet, but I put up a status notifying people that I'd be deleting my account this weekend. Gave out my contact info one last time, and invited them to send me theirs in a private message.
That's all I can do, really. I've spent years struggling with this… hating the site, yet not wanting to lose those connections. Something rock_dinosaur said really resonated with me, though. He said (paraphrasing) "If people can't be bothered to stay in touch outside of Facebook, maybe they're not worth it."
Am I the only one of my friends who dislikes Facebook? Somehow, I doubt it. I'm sure they stay there for a lot of the same reasons I did - convenience, not wanting to lose connections, etc.
I get that. I really do. But making Facebook our only means of communication is a conscious choice, not a necessity. Yes, we all have busy lives, but are any of us so overwhelmed that we can't visit a different site, shoot a quick email, send a text from time to time? Of course not.
So yeah, that's the conclusion I came to. I wouldn't be cutting people off by leaving. I'd be enabling them if I chose to stay. Those who are willing to make the effort will do so. As for the rest… any relationship that requires my presence on Facebook isn't much of a relationship, is it?
I have more thoughts on this, but I'll save them for later. For now, I'll just share the final paragraph of my "goodbye" status:
"I know I'll never hear from some of you, which makes me sad. The truth is though, that's exactly why I'm choosing to leave. I hate the way Facebook dominates our lives, reducing/eliminating other (often better) options we previously used for staying in touch. I hate the way it dumbs us down, forces our dependence, exploits us for profit. Most of all, I hate the complete lack of ethical standards the company has, whether that's selling our data to unscrupulous organizations, allowing the proliferation of fake news, or doing their damnedest to eliminate would be competitors so they can retain their monopoly.
We deserve better. *I* deserve better.
I've always believed that. Now it's time to act on it. ♥"
Of course, they don't offer any sensible way to do this (i.e. setting a vacation message), so I made a couple graphics…
My contact info was also the top post on my profile, so yeah… I did everything I could to make it as easy/obvious as possible.
Not obvious enough, apparently. I checked Facebook this evening and I had a slew of messages. It seems most people didn't even realize I was gone.
This infuriated me, though not at those people. It's Facebook I have a problem with, all the more so because most people don't seem to realize and/or care how manipulative they are. I've spent 16 years developing websites - it's easy for me to provide options for away/vacation messages, and I'm just one person. Do you really think the entire Facebook dev team couldn't figure out how to do it if they wanted to?
… if they wanted to.
That's really the point, isn't it? They don't want you to take a break. They don't want you to be able to redirect your friends elsewhere, forward your messages, anything like that. Why? Because they want you to be as addicted to/dependent on that site as possible. It really is as simple as that.
So I quit. Well, I didn't do it yet, but I put up a status notifying people that I'd be deleting my account this weekend. Gave out my contact info one last time, and invited them to send me theirs in a private message.
That's all I can do, really. I've spent years struggling with this… hating the site, yet not wanting to lose those connections. Something rock_dinosaur said really resonated with me, though. He said (paraphrasing) "If people can't be bothered to stay in touch outside of Facebook, maybe they're not worth it."
Am I the only one of my friends who dislikes Facebook? Somehow, I doubt it. I'm sure they stay there for a lot of the same reasons I did - convenience, not wanting to lose connections, etc.
I get that. I really do. But making Facebook our only means of communication is a conscious choice, not a necessity. Yes, we all have busy lives, but are any of us so overwhelmed that we can't visit a different site, shoot a quick email, send a text from time to time? Of course not.
So yeah, that's the conclusion I came to. I wouldn't be cutting people off by leaving. I'd be enabling them if I chose to stay. Those who are willing to make the effort will do so. As for the rest… any relationship that requires my presence on Facebook isn't much of a relationship, is it?
I have more thoughts on this, but I'll save them for later. For now, I'll just share the final paragraph of my "goodbye" status:
"I know I'll never hear from some of you, which makes me sad. The truth is though, that's exactly why I'm choosing to leave. I hate the way Facebook dominates our lives, reducing/eliminating other (often better) options we previously used for staying in touch. I hate the way it dumbs us down, forces our dependence, exploits us for profit. Most of all, I hate the complete lack of ethical standards the company has, whether that's selling our data to unscrupulous organizations, allowing the proliferation of fake news, or doing their damnedest to eliminate would be competitors so they can retain their monopoly.
We deserve better. *I* deserve better.
I've always believed that. Now it's time to act on it. ♥"