(no subject)
"Rejection kills, disappointment only maims" - from The Truth About Cats and Dogs
I watched The Truth About Cats and Dogs again for the first time in years - it was my favourite rom-com when I was about, oh, twelve or so. And it kind of stands the test of time, I still liked it even though it's a) very 90's and b) so cringey in parts.* It's good fun, quite relatable to girls like me** - I don't often like rom-coms much so it's quite special to me.
Anyhoo, I feel the quote to be particularly suitable right now. I submitted an application for an MA course yesterday and posted my reference forms off today. When I made the decision to Get. It. Done. the other day, rather than continuing to just talk about it, I was all giddy. It was all gushing and skipping and phoning Gareth to organize moving in together again. Now that I've done all I can I'm much more nervy and anxious. My future is now going to be decided by other people. They may accept me. They may reject me. I'm a bit scared. But I'm sure that if they do reject me, it won't actually kill me. It will hurt but sometimes (frequently?) not taking the risk is the big mistake that complicates your life. I just hope it all works out! I wonder if it's too late to send the department a hefty bribe? I wonder if it's too late to rob a bank in order to be able to send the department a hefty bribe?
The same sort of feeling is applying to the moving back to Cardiff thing in summer. When the decision was made and I talked to Gareth I was pinging around the house for hours. I was so convinced it would all fall in to place and that we'd find a great 2-bed flat to share in a good location for an ok price. Now I'm more scared about it all falling through. Mostly because the place I emailed to ask about a place that looked suitable have failed to email back. There's not many 2-bed flats going it seems. Maybe we'd be better moving in with other housemates, though I don't fancy the risk of not getting on with people when I'm doing my masters. Meh. The upside of moving in with other housemates would, in theory, reduce the assumption that Gareth and I are practically married. The assumption that Gareth is my boyfriend, when actually he's a close friend/housemate/butt-monkey (in a nice way), really put a crimp on my chances of getting an actual boyfriend (or even just a cheeky snog with that sci-fi guy *sigh*). I should get myself a t-shirt that says "Ask me about how I'm single if you're charming".
I know I have until next summer to sort it all out but I want to know NOW! I want to be back in Caerdydd with my friends! Studying!
*seriously, why do people in films weave such elaborate lies? I want to edit this film and splice in that bit from Disney's Aladin where the Genie yells 'tell her him THE TRUTH!!!'
**sarcastic smarty-pants types who sometimes lack confidence particularly in terms of how they look. Who also like cats. And cute artsy-types.
I watched The Truth About Cats and Dogs again for the first time in years - it was my favourite rom-com when I was about, oh, twelve or so. And it kind of stands the test of time, I still liked it even though it's a) very 90's and b) so cringey in parts.* It's good fun, quite relatable to girls like me** - I don't often like rom-coms much so it's quite special to me.
Anyhoo, I feel the quote to be particularly suitable right now. I submitted an application for an MA course yesterday and posted my reference forms off today. When I made the decision to Get. It. Done. the other day, rather than continuing to just talk about it, I was all giddy. It was all gushing and skipping and phoning Gareth to organize moving in together again. Now that I've done all I can I'm much more nervy and anxious. My future is now going to be decided by other people. They may accept me. They may reject me. I'm a bit scared. But I'm sure that if they do reject me, it won't actually kill me. It will hurt but sometimes (frequently?) not taking the risk is the big mistake that complicates your life. I just hope it all works out! I wonder if it's too late to send the department a hefty bribe? I wonder if it's too late to rob a bank in order to be able to send the department a hefty bribe?
The same sort of feeling is applying to the moving back to Cardiff thing in summer. When the decision was made and I talked to Gareth I was pinging around the house for hours. I was so convinced it would all fall in to place and that we'd find a great 2-bed flat to share in a good location for an ok price. Now I'm more scared about it all falling through. Mostly because the place I emailed to ask about a place that looked suitable have failed to email back. There's not many 2-bed flats going it seems. Maybe we'd be better moving in with other housemates, though I don't fancy the risk of not getting on with people when I'm doing my masters. Meh. The upside of moving in with other housemates would, in theory, reduce the assumption that Gareth and I are practically married. The assumption that Gareth is my boyfriend, when actually he's a close friend/housemate/butt-monkey (in a nice way), really put a crimp on my chances of getting an actual boyfriend (or even just a cheeky snog with that sci-fi guy *sigh*). I should get myself a t-shirt that says "Ask me about how I'm single if you're charming".
I know I have until next summer to sort it all out but I want to know NOW! I want to be back in Caerdydd with my friends! Studying!
*seriously, why do people in films weave such elaborate lies? I want to edit this film and splice in that bit from Disney's Aladin where the Genie yells 'tell her him THE TRUTH!!!'
**sarcastic smarty-pants types who sometimes lack confidence particularly in terms of how they look. Who also like cats. And cute artsy-types.