For angst_bingo.
Title: Chasing Ghosts
Prompt: Vulnerability
Summary: The man once called the Doctor, after a vision, goes to find the Master.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
It's the moment that he sees the Master in his head that he feels the first flashes of hope that he has had in a very long time.
Hope is a bit of a strong word, the Doctor thinks. Hope isn't really the word that the man who others call "Valeyard" would use, although if nothing else, he does not understand why they call him such. The last time the Doctor met the Valeyard, the man was nothing more than a man seeking to steal his regenerations if only to live longer, a man who even the Master feared --
Except even this is questionable. Is this who he's become now, the monster who causes others to flee in fear? He can still remember River's all too accurate (if cruel, but the Valeyard has found that over the years, "cruel" and "accurate" seem to go hand in hand) words: the man who could turn an army around at the mention of his name.
Once upon a time, it was a source of pride. Now...now it's no more than a bitter reminder of the course his life has taken. There are times when those thoughts come back to haunt him at night, those little snippets of things that could have been. If he hasn't constantly given into violence.
But the Time War has already molded him into that man. The monster, more precisely. And without a companion, the monster --
The man once called the Doctor swallows. Every lonely monster needs a companion. He can still remember saying it to Clara back at Caliburn house when they learned the truth of the "monster" in the pocket universe. But now, he wonders, could it apply to him as well? There's the matter of the Master, naturally, but then there's also him.
Every lonely monster needs a companion.
He gets up now and heads towards his TARDIS. Now...now he knows what to do.
The first issue is where to find the Master. The visions of the Master that he was presented with show him in an alley. The same alley that the Master once hit him with lightning.
He can only hope, at least, that the Master is more open to reasoning this time.
It takes a while to find the alley. He can distantly spot Wilfred Mott, and something in his hearts gives a sudden and unexpected ache. Still, he forced himself to keep moving. There's no time on Wilf
sweet, wonderful Wilf, the man who, should he have been his father, he would have taken pride in having for a father
and Donna and Shaun, doing their shopping. He swears he can see Donna looking his way, but he averts his eyes quickly. He knows it's ridiculous -- it's his Tenth incarnation that she can't remember, the Doctor that she can't remember, and he gave up on being the Doctor long ago -- but he can't risk having her memories activated.
And should she remember...what in Rassilon's name would she even think of him?
Still, there are elements of her, when she isn't berating him inside his head (as she always did, he thinks), that are a faint comfort to him. There are times he likes to pretend that he, River, Rose and Donna are traveling inside the TARDIS, Amy, Rory and Clara too, and Jack -- all the companions in the TARDIS as they should be. Perhaps going to Barcelona, or New Earth -- not the New Earth he had taken Martha to, but the New Earth with apple grass and shining cities. And the hospitals, only rid of all the foul human experimentation that he had first come across with Rose.
But he knows that it is, in the end, too much to hope for. After all, they all have their own lives without him. Rose, happy with the half-human version of him. Donna, with her husband -- even without her memories, he knows that she will be all right. Martha, with Mickey. Amy and Rory growing old together.
And then there's Clara. Her ending is far from happy this far, but she's made her choice. If only it didn't have to end like this.
No. It won't end like that. Not if he can help it. He will find the Master, and he will save him. Whatever it takes, he will save him. And from there, he can save all of them.
He takes a deep breath and continues towards the alley. The scent of the Master is still strong in his nostrils. Too strong.
It's the moment that he finds the Master that he stops in his tracks. The other Time Lord is different. That can't be denied. And yet there is something about when he raises his head that causes the Valeyard to freeze.
The Master looks skinny. Too skinny. His face seems hollow, and his eyes equally so. With those glazed over eyes, he seems almost a shell of his former self. The Valeyard cannot help but wonder what happened to him, what could have reduced him to this.
Then the Master's eyes lose their glassy, distant look. And it's then that the Master speaks. His voice is rusty as if with disuse, but there is something in it that is still very much the Master. A different Master, a Master without the drums in his head, but the Master nonetheless. And when he speaks, he says the word, that one word, that one name, that the Valeyard never expected to hear again. The name he doubts he wanted to hear again, and yet, right now, only feels right to hear again.
"Doctor."
Prompt: Vulnerability
Summary: The man once called the Doctor, after a vision, goes to find the Master.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
It's the moment that he sees the Master in his head that he feels the first flashes of hope that he has had in a very long time.
Hope is a bit of a strong word, the Doctor thinks. Hope isn't really the word that the man who others call "Valeyard" would use, although if nothing else, he does not understand why they call him such. The last time the Doctor met the Valeyard, the man was nothing more than a man seeking to steal his regenerations if only to live longer, a man who even the Master feared --
Except even this is questionable. Is this who he's become now, the monster who causes others to flee in fear? He can still remember River's all too accurate (if cruel, but the Valeyard has found that over the years, "cruel" and "accurate" seem to go hand in hand) words: the man who could turn an army around at the mention of his name.
Once upon a time, it was a source of pride. Now...now it's no more than a bitter reminder of the course his life has taken. There are times when those thoughts come back to haunt him at night, those little snippets of things that could have been. If he hasn't constantly given into violence.
But the Time War has already molded him into that man. The monster, more precisely. And without a companion, the monster --
The man once called the Doctor swallows. Every lonely monster needs a companion. He can still remember saying it to Clara back at Caliburn house when they learned the truth of the "monster" in the pocket universe. But now, he wonders, could it apply to him as well? There's the matter of the Master, naturally, but then there's also him.
Every lonely monster needs a companion.
He gets up now and heads towards his TARDIS. Now...now he knows what to do.
The first issue is where to find the Master. The visions of the Master that he was presented with show him in an alley. The same alley that the Master once hit him with lightning.
He can only hope, at least, that the Master is more open to reasoning this time.
It takes a while to find the alley. He can distantly spot Wilfred Mott, and something in his hearts gives a sudden and unexpected ache. Still, he forced himself to keep moving. There's no time on Wilf
sweet, wonderful Wilf, the man who, should he have been his father, he would have taken pride in having for a father
and Donna and Shaun, doing their shopping. He swears he can see Donna looking his way, but he averts his eyes quickly. He knows it's ridiculous -- it's his Tenth incarnation that she can't remember, the Doctor that she can't remember, and he gave up on being the Doctor long ago -- but he can't risk having her memories activated.
And should she remember...what in Rassilon's name would she even think of him?
Still, there are elements of her, when she isn't berating him inside his head (as she always did, he thinks), that are a faint comfort to him. There are times he likes to pretend that he, River, Rose and Donna are traveling inside the TARDIS, Amy, Rory and Clara too, and Jack -- all the companions in the TARDIS as they should be. Perhaps going to Barcelona, or New Earth -- not the New Earth he had taken Martha to, but the New Earth with apple grass and shining cities. And the hospitals, only rid of all the foul human experimentation that he had first come across with Rose.
But he knows that it is, in the end, too much to hope for. After all, they all have their own lives without him. Rose, happy with the half-human version of him. Donna, with her husband -- even without her memories, he knows that she will be all right. Martha, with Mickey. Amy and Rory growing old together.
And then there's Clara. Her ending is far from happy this far, but she's made her choice. If only it didn't have to end like this.
No. It won't end like that. Not if he can help it. He will find the Master, and he will save him. Whatever it takes, he will save him. And from there, he can save all of them.
He takes a deep breath and continues towards the alley. The scent of the Master is still strong in his nostrils. Too strong.
It's the moment that he finds the Master that he stops in his tracks. The other Time Lord is different. That can't be denied. And yet there is something about when he raises his head that causes the Valeyard to freeze.
The Master looks skinny. Too skinny. His face seems hollow, and his eyes equally so. With those glazed over eyes, he seems almost a shell of his former self. The Valeyard cannot help but wonder what happened to him, what could have reduced him to this.
Then the Master's eyes lose their glassy, distant look. And it's then that the Master speaks. His voice is rusty as if with disuse, but there is something in it that is still very much the Master. A different Master, a Master without the drums in his head, but the Master nonetheless. And when he speaks, he says the word, that one word, that one name, that the Valeyard never expected to hear again. The name he doubts he wanted to hear again, and yet, right now, only feels right to hear again.
"Doctor."