Murder the Dawn: Chapter Thirty Eight: Disengage
In which both Anakin and Acheron's days continue to suck.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author's Notes: I'll admit that I added in that bit where Anakin yells at Master Yoda because...well, one he's still in shock, and two, I'll admit, Yoda's bit in the Revenge of the Sith novelization about Obi-Wan needing to "control himself" (because I mostly got here via the novelizations. :) really bugged me -- I mean, honestly, Obi-Wan thinks that Anakin's dead, not to mention the whole It's All Our Fault moment he's having regarding the slaughtered Jedi -- which isn't really true (I mean, it was Sidious' fault, in the end. He manipulated all of it), but even so...it's sort of like, Yoda, give him a moment, for pity's sake! Plus, I just thought it was in character for Anakin to do. Especially considering he's more...emotional than Obi-Wan, really. At least outwardly.
It was even now, once they were far away from the AT-STs that they had time to talk. To bring up the bare minimum of details. About how Anakin had been ambushed by his own troops on Utapau but managed to escape in time -- if only for Boga’s help, which helped him explain why he was carrying her body with her.
“I couldn’t leave her. I mean...” Anakin swallowed. “Master Yoda, can I at least say a few words for her? I mean...she died saving my life.”
Yoda seemed skeptical. Almost disbelieving. And then...
“Very well. But hurry -- careful timing we will need.”
“I know.”
They burned Boga’s body that night. Even now, sitting there, saying a few words over it, Anakin was faintly aware of two of the Wookiees nearby (though he wasn’t sure of their names) making mournful growls and near-whines. Almost as if in anxiety. Even later, when they had to leave, Anakin was almost struck by how close Yoda seemed to them. The friendship that they shared.
And then they had to go. Saying their goodbyes to the Wookiees, hoping the Force would be with them...indeed, Anakin could only hope that was true, if only because the Force did not seem to be on their side today.
It was back on the Tantive IV that Anakin had time to collect himself. But at the same time, he couldn’t. Even now, he tried to focus his mind on the little details - Bail Organa’s robe, the texture of the table - in order to keep himself composed, but at the same time, he couldn’t. How could he, when the galaxy as he had known it had basically ended?
What had happened on Utupau...it hadn’t been an isolated incident. If anything, it was just the beginning of the slaughter - the slaughter of so many Jedi, everywhere. Even checking the list of the missing and the dead that Master Yoda and Senator Organa had managed to draft up didn’t make things any easier. Serra Keto was listed as missing. Quinlan Vos was dead. Aayla Secura was dead. Even now, remembering the list, it took all of Anakin’s strength to not shake.
“We took them from their homes.” Even now, it didn’t sound like himself speaking - if anything, it sounded more like the man that Utupau had ultimately made him. “We promised their families that we’d - ’’
“Control yourself, you must,” Master Yoda warned. “Still a Jedi you are!”
“Yes.” Anakin snorted. “Of course. ‘Control yourself, young Skywalker. Control yourself you must, and completely and utterly forget that slaughtered in cold blood your friends were for no discernible reason by their own troops!’ Honestly, Master Yoda, how can you even say that? Do you care that little for your own - ’’
“Mistaken you are.”
If anything, looking at Master Yoda, Anakin doubted he could feel any worse than he did now. If anything...
“Master Yoda, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It’s just...” It took all of Anakin’s strength to hold back a sob. “They’re dead. They’re all dead.”
“Some of them, dead they may not be.” Even now, the gentleness in Master Yoda’s voice was something Anakin was almost unaccustomed to. If anything, it was unnerving. Master Yoda was supposed to be inscrutable and invulnerable, almost something not of this galaxy, almost omniscient - seeing this in him...it was new. Even now, Anakin wasn’t sure if he liked it.
“Maybe.” Even now, thinking about it, perhaps some of them had managed to escape in time. At the very least, something in Anakin still held onto this thought - it was the only way he could keep from going crazy. And yet...
“If we get to the Jedi Temple,” he said, “Maybe we can warn anyone still out there. I mean...” He sighed. “The recall beacon - you remember the recall beacon, right? How it calls the rest of the Jedi home? If we manage to switch it off perhaps we can - ’’
“Perhaps.” Even now, Yoda seemed contemplative. “If change the recall beacon we do, a chance we may create.”
***
It was long after he had filed his report to Lord Sidious that Darth Acheron patched in Satine Kryze. Even now, even speaking with her was shelter -- shelter that he most likely didn't deserve after what he'd done. Shelter he knew he didn't deserve, after how he had slaughtered the younglings in such a manner. The way they had looked up at him, believing that Master Kenobi was here to save them, when in fact, he was the one leading the raid. "Master Kenobi," one had said, "There are too many of them. What are we going to do?"
And he had drawn his lightsaber.
He hadn't wanted to do it. If anything, it was the last thing he ever wanted. The Jedi Temple was his home. But he had done his duty to the Republic, nothing more.
He only wished the rest of himself could so readily accept that lie.
"Obi-Wan," Satine said, long after they had managed to go over the finer points of what just happened -- he didn't tell her about Sidious, or having to slaughter the younglings as well as the older Jedi. He couldn't afford to tell her; Satine, ever the believer in the peaceful solution, would never understand -- "Be careful. I can't afford to lose you. We can't."
Even now, Acheron's heart ached at the mention of their unborn child. "I know, Satine. And I will return."
And take you someplace safe, he thought.Someplace only we know. He had had enough of battle, of war, of having to go against his beliefs for the sake of a war no one wanted.
Even now, long after the transmission ended, Acheron felt something hot and wet on his cheeks. It took a while to realize that it was tears. Even now, he stood there, wept -- wept for Satine, for their child, for the younglings and older Jedi he had slaughtered, for Anakin -- he wept for all of them, if only because, in the end, it was all he could do.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author's Notes: I'll admit that I added in that bit where Anakin yells at Master Yoda because...well, one he's still in shock, and two, I'll admit, Yoda's bit in the Revenge of the Sith novelization about Obi-Wan needing to "control himself" (because I mostly got here via the novelizations. :) really bugged me -- I mean, honestly, Obi-Wan thinks that Anakin's dead, not to mention the whole It's All Our Fault moment he's having regarding the slaughtered Jedi -- which isn't really true (I mean, it was Sidious' fault, in the end. He manipulated all of it), but even so...it's sort of like, Yoda, give him a moment, for pity's sake! Plus, I just thought it was in character for Anakin to do. Especially considering he's more...emotional than Obi-Wan, really. At least outwardly.
It was even now, once they were far away from the AT-STs that they had time to talk. To bring up the bare minimum of details. About how Anakin had been ambushed by his own troops on Utapau but managed to escape in time -- if only for Boga’s help, which helped him explain why he was carrying her body with her.
“I couldn’t leave her. I mean...” Anakin swallowed. “Master Yoda, can I at least say a few words for her? I mean...she died saving my life.”
Yoda seemed skeptical. Almost disbelieving. And then...
“Very well. But hurry -- careful timing we will need.”
“I know.”
They burned Boga’s body that night. Even now, sitting there, saying a few words over it, Anakin was faintly aware of two of the Wookiees nearby (though he wasn’t sure of their names) making mournful growls and near-whines. Almost as if in anxiety. Even later, when they had to leave, Anakin was almost struck by how close Yoda seemed to them. The friendship that they shared.
And then they had to go. Saying their goodbyes to the Wookiees, hoping the Force would be with them...indeed, Anakin could only hope that was true, if only because the Force did not seem to be on their side today.
It was back on the Tantive IV that Anakin had time to collect himself. But at the same time, he couldn’t. Even now, he tried to focus his mind on the little details - Bail Organa’s robe, the texture of the table - in order to keep himself composed, but at the same time, he couldn’t. How could he, when the galaxy as he had known it had basically ended?
What had happened on Utupau...it hadn’t been an isolated incident. If anything, it was just the beginning of the slaughter - the slaughter of so many Jedi, everywhere. Even checking the list of the missing and the dead that Master Yoda and Senator Organa had managed to draft up didn’t make things any easier. Serra Keto was listed as missing. Quinlan Vos was dead. Aayla Secura was dead. Even now, remembering the list, it took all of Anakin’s strength to not shake.
“We took them from their homes.” Even now, it didn’t sound like himself speaking - if anything, it sounded more like the man that Utupau had ultimately made him. “We promised their families that we’d - ’’
“Control yourself, you must,” Master Yoda warned. “Still a Jedi you are!”
“Yes.” Anakin snorted. “Of course. ‘Control yourself, young Skywalker. Control yourself you must, and completely and utterly forget that slaughtered in cold blood your friends were for no discernible reason by their own troops!’ Honestly, Master Yoda, how can you even say that? Do you care that little for your own - ’’
“Mistaken you are.”
If anything, looking at Master Yoda, Anakin doubted he could feel any worse than he did now. If anything...
“Master Yoda, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It’s just...” It took all of Anakin’s strength to hold back a sob. “They’re dead. They’re all dead.”
“Some of them, dead they may not be.” Even now, the gentleness in Master Yoda’s voice was something Anakin was almost unaccustomed to. If anything, it was unnerving. Master Yoda was supposed to be inscrutable and invulnerable, almost something not of this galaxy, almost omniscient - seeing this in him...it was new. Even now, Anakin wasn’t sure if he liked it.
“Maybe.” Even now, thinking about it, perhaps some of them had managed to escape in time. At the very least, something in Anakin still held onto this thought - it was the only way he could keep from going crazy. And yet...
“If we get to the Jedi Temple,” he said, “Maybe we can warn anyone still out there. I mean...” He sighed. “The recall beacon - you remember the recall beacon, right? How it calls the rest of the Jedi home? If we manage to switch it off perhaps we can - ’’
“Perhaps.” Even now, Yoda seemed contemplative. “If change the recall beacon we do, a chance we may create.”
***
It was long after he had filed his report to Lord Sidious that Darth Acheron patched in Satine Kryze. Even now, even speaking with her was shelter -- shelter that he most likely didn't deserve after what he'd done. Shelter he knew he didn't deserve, after how he had slaughtered the younglings in such a manner. The way they had looked up at him, believing that Master Kenobi was here to save them, when in fact, he was the one leading the raid. "Master Kenobi," one had said, "There are too many of them. What are we going to do?"
And he had drawn his lightsaber.
He hadn't wanted to do it. If anything, it was the last thing he ever wanted. The Jedi Temple was his home. But he had done his duty to the Republic, nothing more.
He only wished the rest of himself could so readily accept that lie.
"Obi-Wan," Satine said, long after they had managed to go over the finer points of what just happened -- he didn't tell her about Sidious, or having to slaughter the younglings as well as the older Jedi. He couldn't afford to tell her; Satine, ever the believer in the peaceful solution, would never understand -- "Be careful. I can't afford to lose you. We can't."
Even now, Acheron's heart ached at the mention of their unborn child. "I know, Satine. And I will return."
And take you someplace safe, he thought.Someplace only we know. He had had enough of battle, of war, of having to go against his beliefs for the sake of a war no one wanted.
Even now, long after the transmission ended, Acheron felt something hot and wet on his cheeks. It took a while to realize that it was tears. Even now, he stood there, wept -- wept for Satine, for their child, for the younglings and older Jedi he had slaughtered, for Anakin -- he wept for all of them, if only because, in the end, it was all he could do.