(no subject)
Title: Running In Circles
Summary: The Master has never been one for giving up.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Prompt: Giving Up
Warnings: Rusty writing skills, possible continuity errors (if you spot any, let me know), Master angst.
Author's Notes: Title taken from "Circles" by Hollywood Undead. Thought it was appropriate in any case for the Master.
He doesn't really know when the friendship between him and Theta began to deteriorate, but he supposes that it was after Theta had to kill Torvic in order to save him. At the very least, the knowledge that now Koschei was Death's Champion and now had an oath to both Theta and Death herself he could not break started the cracks in the paradise he and Theta had created for just themselves.
They don't discuss it. Not openly, at least. If anything, Theta mostly discusses seeing the universe. Leaving Gallifrey. At least when they've graduated proper. But as much as Koschei wants to (if only to go anywhere with Theta, really), something -- his old sense of duty, maybe -- holds him back. And even now, he doesn't know why.
***
It's the loss of Ailla that's the worst. Well, both Ailla and the Doctor, really. Over the course of a month or so, he's started to grow fond of Ailla, even come close to falling in love with her, and now, now he's trapped in that damned black hole, with the knowledge that the woman he had grown to love and whom he thought loved him in turn had been a spy from Gallifrey all along. He supposes that the Time Lords wouldn't have let him leave Gallifrey scot-free, but it doesn't make it hurt any less.
Especially when one factored in the Doctor's betrayal. Ailla's he supposes he'll get over. Rejecting him on the HAND OF JUSTICE at Darkheart, rejecting the idea of using the device for good. Doing what the Timelords, in their infinite "wisdom", were unable to do. Begging him to come back to Gallifrey, as if somehow the Master was the deluded one, the sick one -- never mind that his friend, his dearest friend, was offering him everything he ever wanted and he was throwing it away out of some deluded notion of heroism.
Because he wanted to see the universe, not rule it.
Koschei supposes that he could cope with the idea of the Doctor being woefully naive. Wanting to see the sky and the stars instead of conquer them. But at the same time, he can't fathom how the Doctor doesn't want to make things right, if only slightly. And he can't forgive him for leaving him there, stranded in this black hole, haunted by the memories of Ailla and Theta alike. Two people, two people who were basically everything he ever wanted besides the stars and planets, and both of them betrayed him. Left him here to rot.
He doubts he'll ever forgive them. Or the Time Lords. He knows what he is going to do, though.
He's not going to give up.
Because he'll be damned if he's going to give up without a fight.
***
Even now, making the request for the Doctor to take his ashes back to Gallifrey, the Master can't believe that the Daleks actually bought it. If anything, he half-expected the Daleks to immediately reject it; the Daleks are not known for being forgiving and that's an understatement. The only reason that he ever agreed to have some of the purer ones as his army was, of anything, they weren't the types to question commands, and they were determined little bastards, no matter how downright insane they were.
The Master, however, has no intention of dying like this. Executed by Daleks, of all things. Not after everything he still has left to do.
It's for this reason that he's kept a back-up of sorts in the form of absorbing a deathworm. Crude, yes, but mostly a holdover for his real plans. He's had far too much trouble in terms of extending his regenerations. Once he finds a suitable host, he can find a way to steal the Doctor's remaining regenerations, and thus get his final revenge on the Doctor. Conquering the universe will be a good bonus.
It's with this knowledge that he says his farewells (for now) to the Doctor, who seems, if the Master's not mistaken...slightly remorseful, at the very least. //I'm sorry it had to come to this, old friend,// the look he gives the Master says, //But there's no other choice. You must die so others may live in peace.//
The Master tries to smile, if only to reassure the Doctor, if slightly. //You know full well I won't be long, Doctor.// At the very least, he never thought he'd try to reassure his old foe in his last moments, but that look of momentary vulnerability, so similar to when they re-encountered Death...even now, something in it almost stirs the Master to pity.
And then he hears the familiar cries of the Daleks, the familiar shouts of "Ex-ter-min-ate!" and then nothing at all.
***
From there, one would assume that's the end. But not for the Master. It's easy in his snake-like form to sabotage the inner workings of the TARDIS and steer it off course. He didn't, of course, plan for the Doctor ignominiously being killed in a firefight, but it provides him, still, with an opportunity. Possessing the body of Bruce the paramedic is disgustingly easy, as well as what comes after. Killing the man's wife -- she's unimportant in the long run -- manipulating the boy Chang Lee into helping him through a few well-placed lies...it's almost too easy.
Until the end, of course.
Chang Lee betrays him. Grace Holloway also fails him. And ultimately, battling at the edge of the Eye of Harmony, it's the Doctor who wins.
Of course, the self-righteous imbecile tries to save him at the last minute. To pull him away from the edge. Even now, looking at the sheer anguish in the Doctor's eyes, the Master is momentarily reminded of Theta Sigma, trying to save him back on Darkheart, on the Hand of Justice. "We can help you! I can help you!"
In the end, the Master refuses. Let's himself be claimed by the Eye of Harmony. Lets himself fall. Even if he loses, he'll win.
One last slap in the face to his hated enemy.
***
The Time Lords, of course, aren't so willing to simply let him go to waste.
They bring him back if only because they thought he'd be of use to them, although what use they could possibly get out of someone like him baffles the Master. They've promised him new regenerations, which he supposes would be nice. At the very least, he could use a better body than Tremas' body, as well as the decaying husk he occupied before that. Or the paramedic's body.
Perhaps it's what he'll get out of it, perhaps it's the old part of him and his sickening preoccupation with doing what he's told, but he's fully intent on going to the Cruciform. But seeing the carnage the Daleks have caused, seeing the destruction, is enough to make him, horribly enough, panic.
He runs.
And runs forever.
He makes himself human, and as Professor Yana, focuses (with his loyal assistant Chantho) on getting the humans to Utopia. And the disguise is so effective that he forgets himself almost entirely.
Until he comes.
He's an odd man. A charming man, a witty man, but at the same time, there's something almost sad about him. Something haunted. Everything about him seems familiar, especially the mentions of Daleks and a Great Time War and so many other things, but Yana doesn't quite know what.
It's later that he opens the watch. It's later that his memories come flooding back. It's later that he remembers Theta, the man who left him behind in a black hole, and later to burn to death while he begged for mercy. He remembers Ailla, and Death herself, and so many other things, and he knows...
"I...am...the Master."
Chantho, of course, tries to stop him. Naturally. She dies for her troubles, though not before using her dying breath to shoot him.
Not that it deters him. He is a Time Lord, after all.
And for all the Doctor tries to stop him, he still succeeds at stealing the TARDIS and flying back to present England to perfect the Paradox Machine, he knows the Doctor's TARDIS will be perfect for perfecting the machine.
And once it's done, the Master knows that no power on Earth will be able to stop him.
***
They're standing in the ruins of Earth, in one of many sites of the Master's great Empire. A statue he had erected if only to show how he had conquered one of many places on Earth. It's a crude prototype, of course, but in time, it will grow into something greater. New Gallifrey, if only to replace the Gallifrey the Doctor had destroyed. With the loss of the Time Lords, perhaps they can finally make things right again.
Or at the very least, that's what it could have been. The Tyler girl and the others are already working to sabotage the Paradox machine -- his machine. Destroying everything he ever worked for.
"Why have you brought us here?" Even now, looking over the Doctor, something occurs to the Master. He has already looked at him with Yana's eyes. But this...this is different. The Doctor almost resembles his last incarnation -- it's harder, yes, a touch colder, but the idealism is still there. The almost irrational hope, faint and wavering and uncertain, but still there.
No doubt helped by that Tyler girl. The Tyler girl has a talent for giving him hope. He held out hope for her, only for her, and no matter how the Master tried, he could never stomp it out of him. He nearly did, but only nearly.
And even that is abhorrent to him.
"Simple, Doctor. See this?" He takes out the explosive device he's been saving if only for occasions such as this. He's hoped he doesn't have to do this -- he doesn't want to have to go through the tedious process of dying and regenerating again, nor does he want all that work he's done to go up in smoke (although knowing the Doctor, it's practically an inevitability), but even so...it wouldn't hurt to have a back-up plan. "Seismic charges beneath the Earth. One press of the button and Earth will be gone. Becauseif I can't have this planet -- "
"No one can. Yes, I know." Even now, the Doctor sounds weary, tired, but that changes even as he says, "But what for? What's the point?" The Doctor's voice cracks and for a moment, it's not the arrogant, self-righteous Time Lord that stands before him, but a vulnerable, almost broken man. A man who destroyed Gallifrey if only to stop Daleks and Time Lords alike, destroyed their own home in the name of doing what's right, and instead of simply lying down and giving up, had to carry on bleeding. Chose to go on because in the end, what did he have left but that? The Doctor continues, in that earnest, now almost gentle, pleading tone. "Isn't there another way? Outside the killing, outside the conquering, outside just about everything else? Isn't there something outside that life?"
There's something in the Doctor's voice that makes the Master, for a moment, so desperately want to believe -- perhaps the drumming in his mind, that horrible thumping noise, would stop -- and yet at the same time, he can't picture a life outside the drums. He can't picture a life outside of being Death's Champion, outside of being Harold Saxon, outside of getting vengeance on the man who left him for dead in that black hole so long ago.
The hope, that flicker of hope, disappears as quickly as it comes. Even if he somehow believed the Doctor, there is still something that he can't forgive the Doctor. The man who, long ago, he would have done anything for. Death's Champion is just one of many testaments to that.
"Honestly, Doctor," he says, "You're going to pull that card? The 'I Know You're In There Somewhere' card? Are you honestly that dense?"
"No. Not because of that. Not at all."
"Then why?"
"Because there's still hope for you," the Doctor says, almost sadly, "If you can only see. And besides, what use is there in blowing up the Earth? You'll just get yourself caught in the blast, and that's the last thing you want, isn't it?"
"I don't care." And yet even now, it's working too well. Even when the Doctor contradicts him and says he wouldn't blow up the Earth because after all, he himself wouldn't want to die, the Master muses that he's right, but for the wrong reasons.
Because in the end, the Master doesn't agree to go back to the VALIANT just because he fears for his own life. If anything, he goes because of the Doctor. Because as much as he is loathe to risk his own life, risking the Doctor's life -- that's just as bad if not worse.
It's what the more sentimental would have called a miracle. The Master knows, at least, the Doctor (even this Doctor) would call it a miracle. The Master doesn't know what to call it, really. Weakness, perhaps. Because something in him still loves (in a sense) Theta Sigma, the Doctor, even though it's something he would prefer to forget.
//What use is there being Death's Champion if I can't kill him? What's the point of you, Master?//
The Master supposed that he'll never truly find the answer to that.
***
He mostly tells the Doctor, basically, that he would rather die than spend the rest of his existence imprisoned with the Doctor in the TARDIS. But it's a lot more than that, really -- it's the fact that he doesn't want to live in the TARDIS with a constant reminder of how he failed. It's the fact that he's tired, so tired, of changing bodies and chasing ghosts of dreams that would never come to fruition. It's the fact that if he has to die with one final indignity -- once again being defeated by a woman -- he wants to die in the Doctor's arms. It's the fact that he's tired of the drums constantly in his head. It's the fact he just wants to see the Doctor one last time. It's the sum of all of these.
But instead, the Master says, even as the Doctor, predictable as always, all but begs him to stay, "And spend the rest of my life imprisoned with you? Never."
But still the Doctor persists, begging the Master not to give up. "You never give up. Please, stay."
And for a moment, the Master sees not the Doctor, the arrogant, unreadable Doctor, but Theta. Theta, who he used to run through fields of red grass with, calling to the sky. Theta, his dearest friend. Theta, who he would have risked his soul for. Theta.
"Would it stop then? The noise in my head?"
The Doctor's voice is near-inaudible, almost a broken whisper, as he speaks. "I don't know."
Even now, dying is easy. Far too easy. Death, after all, is far too familiar to the Master over the years. He looks into the eyes of the man he used to love almost like a brother, who used to love him like a brother, and breathes his last, sinking into death, giving up just this once.
Summary: The Master has never been one for giving up.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Prompt: Giving Up
Warnings: Rusty writing skills, possible continuity errors (if you spot any, let me know), Master angst.
Author's Notes: Title taken from "Circles" by Hollywood Undead. Thought it was appropriate in any case for the Master.
He doesn't really know when the friendship between him and Theta began to deteriorate, but he supposes that it was after Theta had to kill Torvic in order to save him. At the very least, the knowledge that now Koschei was Death's Champion and now had an oath to both Theta and Death herself he could not break started the cracks in the paradise he and Theta had created for just themselves.
They don't discuss it. Not openly, at least. If anything, Theta mostly discusses seeing the universe. Leaving Gallifrey. At least when they've graduated proper. But as much as Koschei wants to (if only to go anywhere with Theta, really), something -- his old sense of duty, maybe -- holds him back. And even now, he doesn't know why.
***
It's the loss of Ailla that's the worst. Well, both Ailla and the Doctor, really. Over the course of a month or so, he's started to grow fond of Ailla, even come close to falling in love with her, and now, now he's trapped in that damned black hole, with the knowledge that the woman he had grown to love and whom he thought loved him in turn had been a spy from Gallifrey all along. He supposes that the Time Lords wouldn't have let him leave Gallifrey scot-free, but it doesn't make it hurt any less.
Especially when one factored in the Doctor's betrayal. Ailla's he supposes he'll get over. Rejecting him on the HAND OF JUSTICE at Darkheart, rejecting the idea of using the device for good. Doing what the Timelords, in their infinite "wisdom", were unable to do. Begging him to come back to Gallifrey, as if somehow the Master was the deluded one, the sick one -- never mind that his friend, his dearest friend, was offering him everything he ever wanted and he was throwing it away out of some deluded notion of heroism.
Because he wanted to see the universe, not rule it.
Koschei supposes that he could cope with the idea of the Doctor being woefully naive. Wanting to see the sky and the stars instead of conquer them. But at the same time, he can't fathom how the Doctor doesn't want to make things right, if only slightly. And he can't forgive him for leaving him there, stranded in this black hole, haunted by the memories of Ailla and Theta alike. Two people, two people who were basically everything he ever wanted besides the stars and planets, and both of them betrayed him. Left him here to rot.
He doubts he'll ever forgive them. Or the Time Lords. He knows what he is going to do, though.
He's not going to give up.
Because he'll be damned if he's going to give up without a fight.
***
Even now, making the request for the Doctor to take his ashes back to Gallifrey, the Master can't believe that the Daleks actually bought it. If anything, he half-expected the Daleks to immediately reject it; the Daleks are not known for being forgiving and that's an understatement. The only reason that he ever agreed to have some of the purer ones as his army was, of anything, they weren't the types to question commands, and they were determined little bastards, no matter how downright insane they were.
The Master, however, has no intention of dying like this. Executed by Daleks, of all things. Not after everything he still has left to do.
It's for this reason that he's kept a back-up of sorts in the form of absorbing a deathworm. Crude, yes, but mostly a holdover for his real plans. He's had far too much trouble in terms of extending his regenerations. Once he finds a suitable host, he can find a way to steal the Doctor's remaining regenerations, and thus get his final revenge on the Doctor. Conquering the universe will be a good bonus.
It's with this knowledge that he says his farewells (for now) to the Doctor, who seems, if the Master's not mistaken...slightly remorseful, at the very least. //I'm sorry it had to come to this, old friend,// the look he gives the Master says, //But there's no other choice. You must die so others may live in peace.//
The Master tries to smile, if only to reassure the Doctor, if slightly. //You know full well I won't be long, Doctor.// At the very least, he never thought he'd try to reassure his old foe in his last moments, but that look of momentary vulnerability, so similar to when they re-encountered Death...even now, something in it almost stirs the Master to pity.
And then he hears the familiar cries of the Daleks, the familiar shouts of "Ex-ter-min-ate!" and then nothing at all.
***
From there, one would assume that's the end. But not for the Master. It's easy in his snake-like form to sabotage the inner workings of the TARDIS and steer it off course. He didn't, of course, plan for the Doctor ignominiously being killed in a firefight, but it provides him, still, with an opportunity. Possessing the body of Bruce the paramedic is disgustingly easy, as well as what comes after. Killing the man's wife -- she's unimportant in the long run -- manipulating the boy Chang Lee into helping him through a few well-placed lies...it's almost too easy.
Until the end, of course.
Chang Lee betrays him. Grace Holloway also fails him. And ultimately, battling at the edge of the Eye of Harmony, it's the Doctor who wins.
Of course, the self-righteous imbecile tries to save him at the last minute. To pull him away from the edge. Even now, looking at the sheer anguish in the Doctor's eyes, the Master is momentarily reminded of Theta Sigma, trying to save him back on Darkheart, on the Hand of Justice. "We can help you! I can help you!"
In the end, the Master refuses. Let's himself be claimed by the Eye of Harmony. Lets himself fall. Even if he loses, he'll win.
One last slap in the face to his hated enemy.
***
The Time Lords, of course, aren't so willing to simply let him go to waste.
They bring him back if only because they thought he'd be of use to them, although what use they could possibly get out of someone like him baffles the Master. They've promised him new regenerations, which he supposes would be nice. At the very least, he could use a better body than Tremas' body, as well as the decaying husk he occupied before that. Or the paramedic's body.
Perhaps it's what he'll get out of it, perhaps it's the old part of him and his sickening preoccupation with doing what he's told, but he's fully intent on going to the Cruciform. But seeing the carnage the Daleks have caused, seeing the destruction, is enough to make him, horribly enough, panic.
He runs.
And runs forever.
He makes himself human, and as Professor Yana, focuses (with his loyal assistant Chantho) on getting the humans to Utopia. And the disguise is so effective that he forgets himself almost entirely.
Until he comes.
He's an odd man. A charming man, a witty man, but at the same time, there's something almost sad about him. Something haunted. Everything about him seems familiar, especially the mentions of Daleks and a Great Time War and so many other things, but Yana doesn't quite know what.
It's later that he opens the watch. It's later that his memories come flooding back. It's later that he remembers Theta, the man who left him behind in a black hole, and later to burn to death while he begged for mercy. He remembers Ailla, and Death herself, and so many other things, and he knows...
"I...am...the Master."
Chantho, of course, tries to stop him. Naturally. She dies for her troubles, though not before using her dying breath to shoot him.
Not that it deters him. He is a Time Lord, after all.
And for all the Doctor tries to stop him, he still succeeds at stealing the TARDIS and flying back to present England to perfect the Paradox Machine, he knows the Doctor's TARDIS will be perfect for perfecting the machine.
And once it's done, the Master knows that no power on Earth will be able to stop him.
***
They're standing in the ruins of Earth, in one of many sites of the Master's great Empire. A statue he had erected if only to show how he had conquered one of many places on Earth. It's a crude prototype, of course, but in time, it will grow into something greater. New Gallifrey, if only to replace the Gallifrey the Doctor had destroyed. With the loss of the Time Lords, perhaps they can finally make things right again.
Or at the very least, that's what it could have been. The Tyler girl and the others are already working to sabotage the Paradox machine -- his machine. Destroying everything he ever worked for.
"Why have you brought us here?" Even now, looking over the Doctor, something occurs to the Master. He has already looked at him with Yana's eyes. But this...this is different. The Doctor almost resembles his last incarnation -- it's harder, yes, a touch colder, but the idealism is still there. The almost irrational hope, faint and wavering and uncertain, but still there.
No doubt helped by that Tyler girl. The Tyler girl has a talent for giving him hope. He held out hope for her, only for her, and no matter how the Master tried, he could never stomp it out of him. He nearly did, but only nearly.
And even that is abhorrent to him.
"Simple, Doctor. See this?" He takes out the explosive device he's been saving if only for occasions such as this. He's hoped he doesn't have to do this -- he doesn't want to have to go through the tedious process of dying and regenerating again, nor does he want all that work he's done to go up in smoke (although knowing the Doctor, it's practically an inevitability), but even so...it wouldn't hurt to have a back-up plan. "Seismic charges beneath the Earth. One press of the button and Earth will be gone. Becauseif I can't have this planet -- "
"No one can. Yes, I know." Even now, the Doctor sounds weary, tired, but that changes even as he says, "But what for? What's the point?" The Doctor's voice cracks and for a moment, it's not the arrogant, self-righteous Time Lord that stands before him, but a vulnerable, almost broken man. A man who destroyed Gallifrey if only to stop Daleks and Time Lords alike, destroyed their own home in the name of doing what's right, and instead of simply lying down and giving up, had to carry on bleeding. Chose to go on because in the end, what did he have left but that? The Doctor continues, in that earnest, now almost gentle, pleading tone. "Isn't there another way? Outside the killing, outside the conquering, outside just about everything else? Isn't there something outside that life?"
There's something in the Doctor's voice that makes the Master, for a moment, so desperately want to believe -- perhaps the drumming in his mind, that horrible thumping noise, would stop -- and yet at the same time, he can't picture a life outside the drums. He can't picture a life outside of being Death's Champion, outside of being Harold Saxon, outside of getting vengeance on the man who left him for dead in that black hole so long ago.
The hope, that flicker of hope, disappears as quickly as it comes. Even if he somehow believed the Doctor, there is still something that he can't forgive the Doctor. The man who, long ago, he would have done anything for. Death's Champion is just one of many testaments to that.
"Honestly, Doctor," he says, "You're going to pull that card? The 'I Know You're In There Somewhere' card? Are you honestly that dense?"
"No. Not because of that. Not at all."
"Then why?"
"Because there's still hope for you," the Doctor says, almost sadly, "If you can only see. And besides, what use is there in blowing up the Earth? You'll just get yourself caught in the blast, and that's the last thing you want, isn't it?"
"I don't care." And yet even now, it's working too well. Even when the Doctor contradicts him and says he wouldn't blow up the Earth because after all, he himself wouldn't want to die, the Master muses that he's right, but for the wrong reasons.
Because in the end, the Master doesn't agree to go back to the VALIANT just because he fears for his own life. If anything, he goes because of the Doctor. Because as much as he is loathe to risk his own life, risking the Doctor's life -- that's just as bad if not worse.
It's what the more sentimental would have called a miracle. The Master knows, at least, the Doctor (even this Doctor) would call it a miracle. The Master doesn't know what to call it, really. Weakness, perhaps. Because something in him still loves (in a sense) Theta Sigma, the Doctor, even though it's something he would prefer to forget.
//What use is there being Death's Champion if I can't kill him? What's the point of you, Master?//
The Master supposed that he'll never truly find the answer to that.
***
He mostly tells the Doctor, basically, that he would rather die than spend the rest of his existence imprisoned with the Doctor in the TARDIS. But it's a lot more than that, really -- it's the fact that he doesn't want to live in the TARDIS with a constant reminder of how he failed. It's the fact that he's tired, so tired, of changing bodies and chasing ghosts of dreams that would never come to fruition. It's the fact that if he has to die with one final indignity -- once again being defeated by a woman -- he wants to die in the Doctor's arms. It's the fact that he's tired of the drums constantly in his head. It's the fact he just wants to see the Doctor one last time. It's the sum of all of these.
But instead, the Master says, even as the Doctor, predictable as always, all but begs him to stay, "And spend the rest of my life imprisoned with you? Never."
But still the Doctor persists, begging the Master not to give up. "You never give up. Please, stay."
And for a moment, the Master sees not the Doctor, the arrogant, unreadable Doctor, but Theta. Theta, who he used to run through fields of red grass with, calling to the sky. Theta, his dearest friend. Theta, who he would have risked his soul for. Theta.
"Would it stop then? The noise in my head?"
The Doctor's voice is near-inaudible, almost a broken whisper, as he speaks. "I don't know."
Even now, dying is easy. Far too easy. Death, after all, is far too familiar to the Master over the years. He looks into the eyes of the man he used to love almost like a brother, who used to love him like a brother, and breathes his last, sinking into death, giving up just this once.