Too Good Is True MST, Chapter Thirty One: Brain! Soul! Pancreas! (Redux)
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, I mean the author no discomfort, and guys? Please enjoy. :)
[INT. COLONEL TOBIN'S QUARTERS -- NIGHT.
Everyone's sitting around the table, continuing to read the fic.]
Joe don sidestepped just in time.
NOSTALGIA CRITIC (sarcastic): Of course. Dramatic tension? What's that?
Dereck lunged again and this time Joe don moved around to the side and grabbed him from behind and pinned his arms to his sides, then he moved his foot and stomped on Dereck's foot to make him drop the knife. Dereck yelped in pain and dropped the knife.
MICAL: I could comment about the fight scene being too short, but I'm too worried about the redundant sentences to care.
ARAWN: No wonder this fic's so boring...
MICAL: Amongst other reasons.
ARAWN: Naturally.
I quickly picked it up and stuck the tip of it in the hollow of his neck. Then, with my left hand and keeping one eye on Dereck, I grabbed my cell phone out of my pocket and called the police. By the time the cops arrived, Joe don was breathing heavly.
MIRA: Well, duh. What would you do if a crazy person suddenly tried to attack you with a knife?
ATTON (deadpan): Run, I guess.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
NUTE GUNRAY: Skywalker? For once in your life, you have a point. I used to love the stars -- they reminded me of credits. But now stars...both stars and credits are dead to me as sex on the beach is to Cin Wicked. Kriff you, author. Kriff you.
After we got home Joe don wanted to know how I knew Dereck.
Joe don - "That was close. How do know him?"
NOSTALGIA CRITIC (face buried in hands): A question for the ages...
Me - "I used to go to school with him. I think was he sweet on me. He used to beat up and be mean to other boys in school "just for me". He tried to ask me out three times, the last time he asked me I told him; "No, no, and no. Don't ever ask me again. I hate you." He glared at me and told me he would make my life miserable because I "wrecked" his life. . . "
NOSTALGIA CRITIC: Oh great, the "bully" cliche. Brilliant. Now we're in hell.
NOSTALGIA CHICK (sarcastic): Now we're in hell?!
NOSTALGIA CRITIC: Well, if we weren't before, we sure are now.
NOSTALGIA CHICK: Good grief...
Joe don - "He sounds mean."
NOSTALGIA CRITIC (as Joe Don): You'd think that a complete maniac that's a mutant cross between Michael Myers and the douchebag from the Prom Night remake would be a little nicer!
FILMMASTERADAM: *Chuckles*
Me - "He is. When I was with a guy I liked and he was around he would draw his finger across his throat in a threating motion. And now he tried to get me back trying kill the most important man in my life."
CANDEROUS: Gag me with a vibroblade.
NUTE GUNRAY (deadpan): The Mandalorian speaks for us all.
Joe don - "Aww. I thought the cops would never come, he was wiggling so much I almost lost my grip twice."
Me - "I noticed. Here, turn around." He turned around. I started massaging his neck and shoulders, and he sighed in contentment and relaxed his shoulder muscles. I finished ten minutes later. "Thank you."
Me - "Your welcome."
Joe don - "Do you want me to do you?"
ATTON: Oh Force, not a gratuitous sex scene...
FILMMASTERADAM: Get ahold of yourself, Rand!
Me - "Sure!" I sat in front of Joe don and he started massaging and scratching. It had
been about five minutes when his hand lingered over my bra strap a couple extra seconds.
"Umm. . . Joe don." I said.
Joe don - "I understand." He said, and moved on.
NOSTALGIA CRITIC: So...Big Lipped Alligator Moment or not?
NOSTALGIA CHICK: Try Big Lipped Alligator Fanfic. Seriously. *Sighs* We're gonna need a lot of hemp when we're through...