5 Quesions from Mary...
OK. Wow, this turned out longer than I thought it would so I put it behind an LJ cut. Since this is a mem, reply and I'll ask you 5 questions!
5 Questions from Mary
1) If you hadn't gone to IPFW to college, where would have you gone to?
Honestly, through most of my college search I never even considered IPFW. My dream since I was little was to at least apply to MIT. However, I found out that with the SATs required I couldn't afford to even do that. My entire Junior year I was considering Rose Hulman, Case Western, Columbia, and Miami(the one in Ohio). The only problem was that I knew that paying for college was going to be a little bit tricky. I knew the only way I could get into college is if I did it by myself. My parents couldn't help me at all. By absolute happenstance in the beginning of Senior year a representative came from IPFW. It was then that I was informed that if I went to IPFW, they would give me a full tuition and fees scholarship. I visited the campus once, didn't get any bad vibes from it, so I choose IPFW. All four of the colleges had also accepted me, but none of them gave me the same deal. I knew I had to be realistic in this. If I wasn't going to IPFW, I would probably be at Columbia. I love big cities and New York would have been an adventure! But I am really, truly happy with IPFW. Because it was cheap for me, I was able to realize that I didn't want to be Computer Science(my original major) and move to another major without real consequence. Not to mention I wouldn't trade up the people I've met up here (good and bad) for the world. I've learned so much. I truly believe that someone sent me that rep from IPFW. They wanted me to come here. And I'm so glad I did.
2) What is your biggest fear in life?
That more than just the minority of people will allow their hatred or disapproval fill others lives with grief. Stories like V for Vendetta sends fear and repulsion all the way through me. There is a literal, physical, and vicious pain in my heart when I witness hatred or disapproval being directed toward people. I remember being in the fifth grade and crying for three days after I read "The Devil's Arithmetic" by Jane Yolen. It was a story of a girl who was transported back to Nazi Germany and had to live through the Holocaust. How people could do that was unfathomable to me. Today, I understand what had happened a little bit more. But it does not make the pain I feel for those people any less. I have trouble contemplating what it's like to hate a human being. To loath a person. Even with figureheads of hatred such as Hitler, I can not hate him. He drives a pain in my heart, but it does not formulate into malice whatsoever. So when I hear, "I hate soandso". That fills me with the greatest fear I know.
Most of all, I fear a society where if I continue to love everyone, I will be dead.
3) How has college changed your relationship with your parents and siblings?
Where to begin on that one! I think overall it has strained our relationship. When I entered college I was, but was not the person I am now. The core of Jessy has always existed, but it wasn't until I left home that I realize how many of my ideas and thoughts where not my own. College has allowed me to find the real me, in a sense. The problem in this is that my parents think they know who the real me is. The me that first entered college, that was the real me. That adds so much strain because I am happy and proud of who I am NOW. The discoveries, evolution, and growth I've gone through was all of my own accord. I makes me feel like they love their "ideal" Jessy more than the real one. Recently, I talked with my Mom and Dad about this. While they iterated that they are proud of me and happy for me, I still get the feeling that they wish they had the "old Jessy" back.
As for my siblings it really depends on which one. lol
Rosa(12). I honestly don't know. We've never really been that close. I like to think that the fact that I do all these things at school is exciting to her. Me and her haven't really changed between us. That holds true for Candius(31) as well.
Rachel(14). Moving out on my own definitely broke me out of my bubble. When that happened, I noticed Rachel more than I ever had in my entire life. What's more I felt like she was a person I could really consider a friend as well as a sister. The only one of my sisters that I felt like that about had been Kathy. I think that to a certain extent we have gotten closer than we had been before.
Lizzie(16). I think Lizzie has changed as much as I have since I left for school. This makes me feel incredibly distant with her. All my old thoughts of her seem to be wrong or in the process of changing. I know
that she's just as unhappy with the way I've changed as Mom and Dad are. Is this because she had looked up to me? In high school, I never got the impression she had, but what if I was wrong? I'm not sure, but it saddens me.
Kathy(20). Even though I was older by 10 months, Kathy has always been the nurturing, older sister. But now, I feel like I'm the older. This may not be the case, Kathy has always progressed in maturity way faster than I, but I don't not feel like I'm younger than her now. If that makes any sense. I also get the feeling that she disapproves of my life. Which makes it very difficult to talk to her. We used to be so close, but now I don't want to say anything that might possible in some way or fashion make her think even less of me. I know she still sees the Jessy who lived in her bubble. And maybe that's why its so awkward. And like my parents, I believe that she still thinks she knows me like a book (at one time she did). But she's refusing to read the new chapters.
Anywho enough on that.
4) What one moment you've experienced so far has been the best, most squishy happy one?
That is a tough one. More than any other time in my life, the past year has been the happiest. I even have moments where I conscientiously think "I am so happy". Times with friends are definitely up there! I love that I have such awesome new friends. In addition, I still have the friends I made in Antwerp. But with them it's almost like I didn't know them until college. Breaking out of my bubble has just made us stronger friends.
But I think the most happy squishy moment is actually multiple instances but the same feeling. Occasionally, I'll find Chris napping on the bed. I lay down next to him and we cuddle. We don't talk, we just together. Those are the moments where I feel the most loved. Loved from all directions and it swallows me up in a great, fuzzy, hello kitty blanket. There's no sadness, just euphoria joy.
5) What would you tell a Hello Kitty Virgin the plot to the show is?
Once upon a time there was a white kitty in England named Kitty White. She lived very happily with her twin sister Mimi and her mom and dad. Hello Kitty spends her adventures loving and being loved by her family and friends. And because of that she's almost always happy.
5 Questions from Mary
1) If you hadn't gone to IPFW to college, where would have you gone to?
Honestly, through most of my college search I never even considered IPFW. My dream since I was little was to at least apply to MIT. However, I found out that with the SATs required I couldn't afford to even do that. My entire Junior year I was considering Rose Hulman, Case Western, Columbia, and Miami(the one in Ohio). The only problem was that I knew that paying for college was going to be a little bit tricky. I knew the only way I could get into college is if I did it by myself. My parents couldn't help me at all. By absolute happenstance in the beginning of Senior year a representative came from IPFW. It was then that I was informed that if I went to IPFW, they would give me a full tuition and fees scholarship. I visited the campus once, didn't get any bad vibes from it, so I choose IPFW. All four of the colleges had also accepted me, but none of them gave me the same deal. I knew I had to be realistic in this. If I wasn't going to IPFW, I would probably be at Columbia. I love big cities and New York would have been an adventure! But I am really, truly happy with IPFW. Because it was cheap for me, I was able to realize that I didn't want to be Computer Science(my original major) and move to another major without real consequence. Not to mention I wouldn't trade up the people I've met up here (good and bad) for the world. I've learned so much. I truly believe that someone sent me that rep from IPFW. They wanted me to come here. And I'm so glad I did.
2) What is your biggest fear in life?
That more than just the minority of people will allow their hatred or disapproval fill others lives with grief. Stories like V for Vendetta sends fear and repulsion all the way through me. There is a literal, physical, and vicious pain in my heart when I witness hatred or disapproval being directed toward people. I remember being in the fifth grade and crying for three days after I read "The Devil's Arithmetic" by Jane Yolen. It was a story of a girl who was transported back to Nazi Germany and had to live through the Holocaust. How people could do that was unfathomable to me. Today, I understand what had happened a little bit more. But it does not make the pain I feel for those people any less. I have trouble contemplating what it's like to hate a human being. To loath a person. Even with figureheads of hatred such as Hitler, I can not hate him. He drives a pain in my heart, but it does not formulate into malice whatsoever. So when I hear, "I hate soandso". That fills me with the greatest fear I know.
Most of all, I fear a society where if I continue to love everyone, I will be dead.
3) How has college changed your relationship with your parents and siblings?
Where to begin on that one! I think overall it has strained our relationship. When I entered college I was, but was not the person I am now. The core of Jessy has always existed, but it wasn't until I left home that I realize how many of my ideas and thoughts where not my own. College has allowed me to find the real me, in a sense. The problem in this is that my parents think they know who the real me is. The me that first entered college, that was the real me. That adds so much strain because I am happy and proud of who I am NOW. The discoveries, evolution, and growth I've gone through was all of my own accord. I makes me feel like they love their "ideal" Jessy more than the real one. Recently, I talked with my Mom and Dad about this. While they iterated that they are proud of me and happy for me, I still get the feeling that they wish they had the "old Jessy" back.
As for my siblings it really depends on which one. lol
Rosa(12). I honestly don't know. We've never really been that close. I like to think that the fact that I do all these things at school is exciting to her. Me and her haven't really changed between us. That holds true for Candius(31) as well.
Rachel(14). Moving out on my own definitely broke me out of my bubble. When that happened, I noticed Rachel more than I ever had in my entire life. What's more I felt like she was a person I could really consider a friend as well as a sister. The only one of my sisters that I felt like that about had been Kathy. I think that to a certain extent we have gotten closer than we had been before.
Lizzie(16). I think Lizzie has changed as much as I have since I left for school. This makes me feel incredibly distant with her. All my old thoughts of her seem to be wrong or in the process of changing. I know
that she's just as unhappy with the way I've changed as Mom and Dad are. Is this because she had looked up to me? In high school, I never got the impression she had, but what if I was wrong? I'm not sure, but it saddens me.
Kathy(20). Even though I was older by 10 months, Kathy has always been the nurturing, older sister. But now, I feel like I'm the older. This may not be the case, Kathy has always progressed in maturity way faster than I, but I don't not feel like I'm younger than her now. If that makes any sense. I also get the feeling that she disapproves of my life. Which makes it very difficult to talk to her. We used to be so close, but now I don't want to say anything that might possible in some way or fashion make her think even less of me. I know she still sees the Jessy who lived in her bubble. And maybe that's why its so awkward. And like my parents, I believe that she still thinks she knows me like a book (at one time she did). But she's refusing to read the new chapters.
Anywho enough on that.
4) What one moment you've experienced so far has been the best, most squishy happy one?
That is a tough one. More than any other time in my life, the past year has been the happiest. I even have moments where I conscientiously think "I am so happy". Times with friends are definitely up there! I love that I have such awesome new friends. In addition, I still have the friends I made in Antwerp. But with them it's almost like I didn't know them until college. Breaking out of my bubble has just made us stronger friends.
But I think the most happy squishy moment is actually multiple instances but the same feeling. Occasionally, I'll find Chris napping on the bed. I lay down next to him and we cuddle. We don't talk, we just together. Those are the moments where I feel the most loved. Loved from all directions and it swallows me up in a great, fuzzy, hello kitty blanket. There's no sadness, just euphoria joy.
5) What would you tell a Hello Kitty Virgin the plot to the show is?
Once upon a time there was a white kitty in England named Kitty White. She lived very happily with her twin sister Mimi and her mom and dad. Hello Kitty spends her adventures loving and being loved by her family and friends. And because of that she's almost always happy.