Nothing in particular brought this on. Just thinking.
I hate knowing that there are people out there who don't really like me, but feel like they have to act like they do because we have mutual friends. It's pretty obvious who those people are to me but I'm not naming anyone. That would be rude.
It's even more upsetting to me that I may inadvertently have given these people an actual good reason not to like me. I wish I could somehow implant the knowledge into their heads that I am really not a self centered asshole only concerned with my own whims and I really don't like being a leech, contrary to what they might think. I'm just in between a rock and a hard place right now and I just need people to communicate with me. I was pretty reclusive and broody and not fun for a while but fuck if depression hasn't consumed the souls of almost everyone I know for at least a small period of their lives. I think I am allowed a few mistakes.
I kinda wish they would give me a chance. They would probably like me if they got to know me, or cared enough to do so. I guess that's not really my problem if they just don't give a shit though, and if that is the case, maybe they aren't worth having as friends in the first place and I shouldn't even care.
It's even more upsetting to me that I may inadvertently have given these people an actual good reason not to like me. I wish I could somehow implant the knowledge into their heads that I am really not a self centered asshole only concerned with my own whims and I really don't like being a leech, contrary to what they might think. I'm just in between a rock and a hard place right now and I just need people to communicate with me. I was pretty reclusive and broody and not fun for a while but fuck if depression hasn't consumed the souls of almost everyone I know for at least a small period of their lives. I think I am allowed a few mistakes.
I kinda wish they would give me a chance. They would probably like me if they got to know me, or cared enough to do so. I guess that's not really my problem if they just don't give a shit though, and if that is the case, maybe they aren't worth having as friends in the first place and I shouldn't even care.