I told you I was only ever going to do memes from now on. Here's two!
Hey look - my first DW crosspost! Go me! (I sure hope this works now). I actually started this post a while ago by my internet has been bodgy so here are some now-out-of-date statistics!
( Top Ten Fics on AO3 meme )
( Top Ten Fics on AO3 meme )
So Joe and Pete jerk off together sometimes on tour. Not together-together, just in the same room/bathroom/bus lounge/whatever. They don't touch or kiss or anything, they just jerk it in each other's company. Like a circle jerk without the circle. It's hotter than doing it alone, and it makes finding privacy a tiny bit easier because you only have to ditch half the band, not three quarters.
It came about by accident really, some drunken night at a party when they were crashing in the same room and Pete thought Joe was asleep and decided to knock one out because it's the closest thing he's had to privacy in a while. He's pretty far into it when he realises that Joe is, in fact, not asleep and okay, Joe is maybe into this. Into it enough that he's knocking one out as well.
They don't really talk about it after and it's weirdly not-weird. One night on the bus after Andy and Patrick have turned in, leaving Joe and Pete alone in the lounge and Pete wonders if that party was a one-off or if it might be okay to have an encore. It's late enough that he's feeling reckless so once he's got Joe's attention he pats his crotch and says, "you wanna?" and Joe shrugs and says okay. And it's good - it's hot to watch and be watched and Pete sleeps like a rock afterwards.
So it sorta becomes a thing that Joe and Pete will occasionally disappear together and Patrick maybe starts to notice. The next time they head off together Patrick asks what they're up to, Pete tells him Joe's helping him out with bass practice, just boring shit to keep his fingers limber "you know, five finger exercises and crap like that". Patrick looks unconvinced and points out that if that's the kind of thing they're doing they could have thought to ask him, (he does play guitar too, you know) and tags along with them. It becomes obvious pretty damn quickly that Pete and Joe have no real practice regime and Patrick's doubts were entirely justified. Patrick gets really pissed off and hurt that they're going to such lengths to keep secrets and demands to know what they're really getting up to - worried that it's like, drugs or something.
Pete gives up and just tells him what they're really up to even though Joe looks like he might punch him. Patrick's like "What, are you guys secret boyfriends or something?" and both Pete and Joe are like, GOD, NO, it's just a thing we do, and it's kind of hot to do it together, but nothing else. As an explanation it's just weird and Pete-like enough that Patrick actually believes it and lets the matter drop.
So it's a little surprising when the next time Pete and Joe try to slip off together, Patrick asks if he can come too. Pete frowns, "You know we're talking about, like, five finger exercises, right?" he asks, because he needs to know what Patrick thinks he's getting into here. Patrick turns bright red and says "yeah." Pete exchanges a look with Joe and they shrug and nod.
If Pete thought jerking off with the two of them was hot, with three is off the fucking chain. And damn, he might've found something Patrick does better than playing guitar.
He also wonders if three is enough to call it a circle jerk. Probably more of a triangle. He's cool with that.
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