for denethor
The basic rules of kinging in Rohan:
1. An intelligent and benevolent king would outlaw horse-man relations. A king not wishing to meet the Rohan equivalent of the guillotine (Erkenbrand and a dull carving knife) in the long run would probably not do so. The people <3 their horsies.
2. But go ahead and outlaw sheep-man relations, because, ew. Theodred will get over it.
3. Rohirrim get bored without a war every four to six months. When they are bored, they abuse the horses. Have you considered Lothlorien? It looks conquerable.
4. No communism allowed.
5. A strong army of men will do well against an enemy. A strong army of women will confuse the blazes out of an enemy and then slaughter every man jack of them. In short, encourage shieldmaidens.
6. Don't tell the commoners that Meduseld is actually roofed by some straw that's been spray-painted gold.
7. The typical Rohirrim stance on issues:
Education-- something that happens to other people
Violence-- yes please
Hairbrushes-- a resounding 'no'
Horsefucking-- not when Bema's around
Social Policy-- what?
Gondor-- kill the bastards
Dol Amroth-- kill the bastards
Elves-- kill the bastards
Ancalagon-- anything you want, Mr. Dragon
Taxes-- must keep King Theodred in drain cleaner
8. No one in the kingdom is allowed to be attractive. (This rule does not apply to the royal family. If an attractive person is discovered, s/he must be put to death or married off to Theodred.)
More to come as they manifest in my mun's warped brain.
Love and kisses,
Eowyn
PS: Denethor, stop being mean to my brother. He can't help it; he was born with the Ednew slut gene.
1. An intelligent and benevolent king would outlaw horse-man relations. A king not wishing to meet the Rohan equivalent of the guillotine (Erkenbrand and a dull carving knife) in the long run would probably not do so. The people <3 their horsies.
2. But go ahead and outlaw sheep-man relations, because, ew. Theodred will get over it.
3. Rohirrim get bored without a war every four to six months. When they are bored, they abuse the horses. Have you considered Lothlorien? It looks conquerable.
4. No communism allowed.
5. A strong army of men will do well against an enemy. A strong army of women will confuse the blazes out of an enemy and then slaughter every man jack of them. In short, encourage shieldmaidens.
6. Don't tell the commoners that Meduseld is actually roofed by some straw that's been spray-painted gold.
7. The typical Rohirrim stance on issues:
Education-- something that happens to other people
Violence-- yes please
Hairbrushes-- a resounding 'no'
Horsefucking-- not when Bema's around
Social Policy-- what?
Gondor-- kill the bastards
Dol Amroth-- kill the bastards
Elves-- kill the bastards
Ancalagon-- anything you want, Mr. Dragon
Taxes-- must keep King Theodred in drain cleaner
8. No one in the kingdom is allowed to be attractive. (This rule does not apply to the royal family. If an attractive person is discovered, s/he must be put to death or married off to Theodred.)
More to come as they manifest in my mun's warped brain.
Love and kisses,
Eowyn
PS: Denethor, stop being mean to my brother. He can't help it; he was born with the Ednew slut gene.