Emma's First Annual Running Commentary of the 77th Annual Oscar Awards
Ooh, movie montage.
Seeing dead people is different. Good call.
The screens on the ceiling are pretty cool.
Shrek and Charlie Chaplin, together at last.
Chris Rock gets a standing o? Well, the man is damn funny. I like that he's talking about bad movies at the Oscars.
This man is fucking brilliant. And he rhymes.
Ow, my side.
Hooray for Gap references. Seriously, the best metaphor ever.
Oh! There are screens on the stage floor, too!
Halle Berry looks amazing. I love that dress and her hair looks gorgeous.
All the nominees are on the stage? That's bizarre.
My mother is surprised that Leo brought Giselle. She says he usually brings his mom or someone. I'm surprised she knows and/or cares about this.
Aw, Reneé can't walk in her pretty dress.
I really don't know who's gonna win Best Supporting Actor.
Oh, I need to see Closer. I love Clive.
Yay for Morgan! And everyone's standing for him. Aw. Hilary must be overwhelmed that he thanked Clint for being able to work with her. I know I would be.
Why the hell are they playing the theme to Next Gen?
Robin Williams was apparently told not to sing a song he had about Spongebob being gay. I wonder what he'll do.
Bwahaha! Brando as Elmer Fudd.
Good for Brad Bird. So deserved.
Cate Blanchett is presenting from the audience? Curiouser and curiouser.
Drew's hair is looking kinda weird.
Beyonce's singing in French? Cool. Wow, she looks gorgeous. My mum tells me she's singing three songs tonight. That seems unusual. She sounds beautiful, but her accent's kinda eh.
Some guy just ran on and off stage. Huh?
White Chicks. Awesome.
Okay, now Scarlett's on the balcony. What's with this?
Nominees on the stage again? *shakes head* I don't get it.
*sigh* Obligatory cartoon presenter. Although this is much better than usual. And nice exposition on the nominees.
Tim Robbins looks so happy to present.
For Sophie Okonedo they picked a scene oddly not so much about her.
Well, I'm two for two on the acting picks so far. Cate Blanchett did such an amazing job. Good for her.
Audrey shots!
I like that Leo compared documentaries to reality television. Because, you know, they both have the same audience base.
I like that The Aviator's editor won since there's so much film editing within the movie.
I think it's funny that a song as popular as "Accidentally in Love" is nominated. The Crows performance was kinda eh though. Not that exciting either, aside from the scary hair.
Where's Catherine Zeta-Jones?
*dies laughing* When Chris Rock was a little girl growing up in Wales…
Woohoo! Four for four. Not a suprise though. Especially since Sideways is unlikely to win for director or picture.
Ooh, doesn't Zhang Ziyi look pretty? And even standing next to Jake Gyllenhaal.
You know, the effects in Spiderman 2 were great and all, but Spidey swinging through the air always bugs me.
Yay. I thank Sam Raimi too. I love him.
Al Pacino… I didn't like you in Merchant of Venice. I'd like my eight bucks back.
"A director directs, a watcher…" "Watches?"
Out of all this guy's films I've only seen Murder on the Orient Express and The Wiz. Huh. And you wouldn't expect the same guy to have made those two movies, but there it is.
Thomas Haden Church's tie is pink. I respect that in a man. Especially in a man I will forever think of as Lowell.
Did he just thank someone named Peidi? And check out that woman's boobs! My mum commented, "Oh, this must be the Golden Globes."
Ooh, Emmy Rossum looks pretty.
Ah. More Beyonce. Damn, she's sparkly! Or as my mother said, "Phantom of the Bling."
Mum: "Her hair wasn't like that before, was it?"
Me: "No. Her make-up wasn't like that either. She must've gone and taken a shower."
Mum: "Talk about the blind leading the Beyonce."
Jeremy Irons is a comedy superstar. Teehee.
Hey, Jer, start talking. Noms now, please.
Did that guy just wake up for his nomination?
Thank god that short before The Incredibles wasn't nominated.
Kate Winslet's dress is stunning. I love that colour.
Those are some freaking big accountants.
I think it's great that Ray won for best sound up against all those big actiony special effects movies.
This is like The Penelope and Salma Variety Show.
What's with the big bow on the back of Penelope Cruz's dress?
Salma Hayek is just getting to present all sorts of stuff.
I love that Santana and Antonio Banderas are performing at the Oscars.
Natalie Portman is so gorgeous. Can I be that gorgeous please?
Thank you, Chris Rock, for making fun of the presentations in the audience.
Martin Scorsese just needs a big black moustache and he could be wearing those Groucho-esque joke glasses.
Mum: "Mayer? He looks like Mayor Ed Koch."
Mum: "[Annette Bening] looks a little weird."
Me: "Eh…"
Mum: "Well, the Clay Aiken hairdo I'm not so crazy about."
Damn. This is the sad part.
Fay Wray, Jerry Orbach, Janet Leigh, Christopher Reeve, Rodney Dangerfield, Tony Randall, Marlon Brando. Just to name a few.
Why is Puffy presenting? For The Polar Express? Is it cause there's more Beyonce?
Mum: "Josh Groban can make me believe I want to kill myself."
Looks like Beyonce took another shower.
Me: "[Groban] looks like he's plotting someone's untimely demise."
Mum: "Yeah. Mine."
Yay, Prince! And he's wearing a blue tuxedo! Aw, but he can't speak French.
Aw, the song guy sang. I like that.
Best Actress? Now? Okay. Oh, jeez, who's gonna win?
Oh, good for Hilary. She does such amazing work and she was so phenomenal in that film. She was not going to forget anybody in her speech this time. That was was so sweet what she said about Clint. Wow.
Gwyneth looks pretty. I kind of feel she came out of nowhere. I hadn't seen her in a while.
I love Salma, Antonio and Penelope with all their Spanish pride.
Sam Jackson's being known as Coach Carter now? Poor guy.
Finally, original screenplay.
Rock on, Eternal Sunshine. Look how happy Kate is! Aw.
Charlize looks pretty, but that part of her dress on her boobs is kinda weird. And she sounds dead excited to be there.
I need to see Hotel Rwanda.
Aw, look at Jamie Foxx's daughter.
Hooray for Jamie! So so well deserved. And he does such wonderful speeches. Aw, jeez. What can I say?
Julia Roberts looks very pretty. And not at all like she just had twins.
Yay, Clint! Aw, and his mommy's there.
Henry Bumstead = Dagwood's brother
Uh oh. Uh oh.
Dustin and Barbra are presenting best picture?
Uh oh. Ack, what's gonna win?
Oh, jeez…
Yay!!!
I'm so so glad. That film was so so amazing. Incredibly well done and poignant and wonderful.
Wonderful. Simply wonderful.
Hooray for lemon pie.
Brooklyn!!
Seeing dead people is different. Good call.
The screens on the ceiling are pretty cool.
Shrek and Charlie Chaplin, together at last.
Chris Rock gets a standing o? Well, the man is damn funny. I like that he's talking about bad movies at the Oscars.
This man is fucking brilliant. And he rhymes.
Ow, my side.
Hooray for Gap references. Seriously, the best metaphor ever.
Oh! There are screens on the stage floor, too!
Halle Berry looks amazing. I love that dress and her hair looks gorgeous.
All the nominees are on the stage? That's bizarre.
My mother is surprised that Leo brought Giselle. She says he usually brings his mom or someone. I'm surprised she knows and/or cares about this.
Aw, Reneé can't walk in her pretty dress.
I really don't know who's gonna win Best Supporting Actor.
Oh, I need to see Closer. I love Clive.
Yay for Morgan! And everyone's standing for him. Aw. Hilary must be overwhelmed that he thanked Clint for being able to work with her. I know I would be.
Why the hell are they playing the theme to Next Gen?
Robin Williams was apparently told not to sing a song he had about Spongebob being gay. I wonder what he'll do.
Bwahaha! Brando as Elmer Fudd.
Good for Brad Bird. So deserved.
Cate Blanchett is presenting from the audience? Curiouser and curiouser.
Drew's hair is looking kinda weird.
Beyonce's singing in French? Cool. Wow, she looks gorgeous. My mum tells me she's singing three songs tonight. That seems unusual. She sounds beautiful, but her accent's kinda eh.
Some guy just ran on and off stage. Huh?
White Chicks. Awesome.
Okay, now Scarlett's on the balcony. What's with this?
Nominees on the stage again? *shakes head* I don't get it.
*sigh* Obligatory cartoon presenter. Although this is much better than usual. And nice exposition on the nominees.
Tim Robbins looks so happy to present.
For Sophie Okonedo they picked a scene oddly not so much about her.
Well, I'm two for two on the acting picks so far. Cate Blanchett did such an amazing job. Good for her.
Audrey shots!
I like that Leo compared documentaries to reality television. Because, you know, they both have the same audience base.
I like that The Aviator's editor won since there's so much film editing within the movie.
I think it's funny that a song as popular as "Accidentally in Love" is nominated. The Crows performance was kinda eh though. Not that exciting either, aside from the scary hair.
Where's Catherine Zeta-Jones?
*dies laughing* When Chris Rock was a little girl growing up in Wales…
Woohoo! Four for four. Not a suprise though. Especially since Sideways is unlikely to win for director or picture.
Ooh, doesn't Zhang Ziyi look pretty? And even standing next to Jake Gyllenhaal.
You know, the effects in Spiderman 2 were great and all, but Spidey swinging through the air always bugs me.
Yay. I thank Sam Raimi too. I love him.
Al Pacino… I didn't like you in Merchant of Venice. I'd like my eight bucks back.
"A director directs, a watcher…" "Watches?"
Out of all this guy's films I've only seen Murder on the Orient Express and The Wiz. Huh. And you wouldn't expect the same guy to have made those two movies, but there it is.
Thomas Haden Church's tie is pink. I respect that in a man. Especially in a man I will forever think of as Lowell.
Did he just thank someone named Peidi? And check out that woman's boobs! My mum commented, "Oh, this must be the Golden Globes."
Ooh, Emmy Rossum looks pretty.
Ah. More Beyonce. Damn, she's sparkly! Or as my mother said, "Phantom of the Bling."
Mum: "Her hair wasn't like that before, was it?"
Me: "No. Her make-up wasn't like that either. She must've gone and taken a shower."
Mum: "Talk about the blind leading the Beyonce."
Jeremy Irons is a comedy superstar. Teehee.
Hey, Jer, start talking. Noms now, please.
Did that guy just wake up for his nomination?
Thank god that short before The Incredibles wasn't nominated.
Kate Winslet's dress is stunning. I love that colour.
Those are some freaking big accountants.
I think it's great that Ray won for best sound up against all those big actiony special effects movies.
This is like The Penelope and Salma Variety Show.
What's with the big bow on the back of Penelope Cruz's dress?
Salma Hayek is just getting to present all sorts of stuff.
I love that Santana and Antonio Banderas are performing at the Oscars.
Natalie Portman is so gorgeous. Can I be that gorgeous please?
Thank you, Chris Rock, for making fun of the presentations in the audience.
Martin Scorsese just needs a big black moustache and he could be wearing those Groucho-esque joke glasses.
Mum: "Mayer? He looks like Mayor Ed Koch."
Mum: "[Annette Bening] looks a little weird."
Me: "Eh…"
Mum: "Well, the Clay Aiken hairdo I'm not so crazy about."
Damn. This is the sad part.
Fay Wray, Jerry Orbach, Janet Leigh, Christopher Reeve, Rodney Dangerfield, Tony Randall, Marlon Brando. Just to name a few.
Why is Puffy presenting? For The Polar Express? Is it cause there's more Beyonce?
Mum: "Josh Groban can make me believe I want to kill myself."
Looks like Beyonce took another shower.
Me: "[Groban] looks like he's plotting someone's untimely demise."
Mum: "Yeah. Mine."
Yay, Prince! And he's wearing a blue tuxedo! Aw, but he can't speak French.
Aw, the song guy sang. I like that.
Best Actress? Now? Okay. Oh, jeez, who's gonna win?
Oh, good for Hilary. She does such amazing work and she was so phenomenal in that film. She was not going to forget anybody in her speech this time. That was was so sweet what she said about Clint. Wow.
Gwyneth looks pretty. I kind of feel she came out of nowhere. I hadn't seen her in a while.
I love Salma, Antonio and Penelope with all their Spanish pride.
Sam Jackson's being known as Coach Carter now? Poor guy.
Finally, original screenplay.
Rock on, Eternal Sunshine. Look how happy Kate is! Aw.
Charlize looks pretty, but that part of her dress on her boobs is kinda weird. And she sounds dead excited to be there.
I need to see Hotel Rwanda.
Aw, look at Jamie Foxx's daughter.
Hooray for Jamie! So so well deserved. And he does such wonderful speeches. Aw, jeez. What can I say?
Julia Roberts looks very pretty. And not at all like she just had twins.
Yay, Clint! Aw, and his mommy's there.
Henry Bumstead = Dagwood's brother
Uh oh. Uh oh.
Dustin and Barbra are presenting best picture?
Uh oh. Ack, what's gonna win?
Oh, jeez…
Yay!!!
I'm so so glad. That film was so so amazing. Incredibly well done and poignant and wonderful.
Wonderful. Simply wonderful.
Hooray for lemon pie.
Brooklyn!!