Another year already?
When they said that time flashes by as you get older they really weren't kidding. Goodbye Noughties ( I hated that name). So what will they call the next decade then? The teens perhaps?
We bought a silly cheap round car on 4th December and I am terrified of driving. I had no idea how much having a person sitting next to me with the power to control the car themselves if they needed to was so important to me. Now that it's just me I spend every second utterly terrified. And the dreaded parking problems I had, that i agonised over for months and practiced and practiced until i finally managed to overcome... are now back worse than ever! I can't park the silly round car at all. If we go anywhere I have to leave at least 10 minutes extra for wiggling back and forward and back and forward with much grinding of gears and stallings before i can even hope to get anywhere close to parked. I'm way past the crap woman driver stereotype and out the other side into complete caricature. It should be laughable but actually it's just made me very very sad. I have wanted this for so long. Passing my test and getting a car represented independance and freedom, 20 years after everyone else managed to get theirs, but instead I'm terrified driving to Sainsburys!.. Jem keeps telling me that I've only been driving for a month and it will get better. I really really hope he's right.
I had become so sick of the theatre that I hardly went there at all in 2009 but i have told myself to give it another shot and I am already booked in to help with shows from now till September. I hope I start to find some pleasure in it again. I know it's good for me to do it because if i dont watch myself I can be antisocial and hermit like. What's even harder is that Jem really couldn't care less if he never saw anyone but me from one week to the next and is always happiest on the sofa with a book. Meaning that I have to be the outgoing one, which is hilarious!
I suddenly have the urge to take lots of silly evening classes. Pottery and hat making and Italian and cooking and the like. I'm going to look into what things are available over the next month in an attempt to starve off the January Blues. I daresay I will start things and then not finish them, much as many people do in the desire to make a new year more interesting. But if even one new thing sticks it will be an achievement.
I've also resolved not to wear so much black and to try to be less lazy with clothes in general (I'm a comfort and ease frump).
Our familes are bothering us again about visiting so I think we will have to find a way to do Canada and the US this year. ( I have promised myself to have more patience with the whole family thing).
I'm also going to start looking into possible other jobs i might be able to do. I will feel less angry and sad if I try to find out what else i might be able to do.
I've pretty much stopped smoking. Smoking was never a big deal from me, I cold always take it or leave it far more easily than anyone I knew so now I probably only have about 5 a week and half of those I don't even finish. I'm only really enjoying 2 out of the 5 so I'm fairly sure I'll just get bored and stop completly before long. I'm being dilligent about taking my iron and drinking water i i know my skin andmy energy leves have been better.
Jem and I have had a lovely holiday season together. We have been married for only 4 years but it's already very hard for me to remember my life before we were together. Loving someone and being loved is better than I ever imagned it would be.
So there are many positive things to look forward to in 2010. Which is why I'm writing them down, so I wont forget when I get miserable and depressed again in a couple of days :o)
We bought a silly cheap round car on 4th December and I am terrified of driving. I had no idea how much having a person sitting next to me with the power to control the car themselves if they needed to was so important to me. Now that it's just me I spend every second utterly terrified. And the dreaded parking problems I had, that i agonised over for months and practiced and practiced until i finally managed to overcome... are now back worse than ever! I can't park the silly round car at all. If we go anywhere I have to leave at least 10 minutes extra for wiggling back and forward and back and forward with much grinding of gears and stallings before i can even hope to get anywhere close to parked. I'm way past the crap woman driver stereotype and out the other side into complete caricature. It should be laughable but actually it's just made me very very sad. I have wanted this for so long. Passing my test and getting a car represented independance and freedom, 20 years after everyone else managed to get theirs, but instead I'm terrified driving to Sainsburys!.. Jem keeps telling me that I've only been driving for a month and it will get better. I really really hope he's right.
I had become so sick of the theatre that I hardly went there at all in 2009 but i have told myself to give it another shot and I am already booked in to help with shows from now till September. I hope I start to find some pleasure in it again. I know it's good for me to do it because if i dont watch myself I can be antisocial and hermit like. What's even harder is that Jem really couldn't care less if he never saw anyone but me from one week to the next and is always happiest on the sofa with a book. Meaning that I have to be the outgoing one, which is hilarious!
I suddenly have the urge to take lots of silly evening classes. Pottery and hat making and Italian and cooking and the like. I'm going to look into what things are available over the next month in an attempt to starve off the January Blues. I daresay I will start things and then not finish them, much as many people do in the desire to make a new year more interesting. But if even one new thing sticks it will be an achievement.
I've also resolved not to wear so much black and to try to be less lazy with clothes in general (I'm a comfort and ease frump).
Our familes are bothering us again about visiting so I think we will have to find a way to do Canada and the US this year. ( I have promised myself to have more patience with the whole family thing).
I'm also going to start looking into possible other jobs i might be able to do. I will feel less angry and sad if I try to find out what else i might be able to do.
I've pretty much stopped smoking. Smoking was never a big deal from me, I cold always take it or leave it far more easily than anyone I knew so now I probably only have about 5 a week and half of those I don't even finish. I'm only really enjoying 2 out of the 5 so I'm fairly sure I'll just get bored and stop completly before long. I'm being dilligent about taking my iron and drinking water i i know my skin andmy energy leves have been better.
Jem and I have had a lovely holiday season together. We have been married for only 4 years but it's already very hard for me to remember my life before we were together. Loving someone and being loved is better than I ever imagned it would be.
So there are many positive things to look forward to in 2010. Which is why I'm writing them down, so I wont forget when I get miserable and depressed again in a couple of days :o)