Fic: Backstage

[ladye_black]

Title: Backstage
Author: Ladye Black
Pairing: Kyusung (KyuhyunxYesung)
Rating: NC-17
Genre: PWP
Length: ~900
Summary: After singing the acoustic version of ‘Bonamana’ with Yesung, Donghae, Sungmin, and Ryeowook; Kyuhyun corners Yesung in their dressing room.

A/N: I’m new to the fandom, so please forgive any errors or inconsistencies in how they address

Comments

[kingdra]

Yum! Pwp is always good :D I like that it's short and straight to the point. And anything with Kyuhyun and Yesung is always delightful.

A few things--
"Ready?” He asked - I feel like the "He" should be in lowercase, not capitalized. Probably a typo, considering that's the only time you made the mistake :)
I suggest against using "the other man"/"the shorter man"/"the younger man." It gives for too much thinking and reading. While thinking and reading aren't necessarily bad things, it skews, if only a little bit, the ability to communicate with the reader. There's nothing wrong with "Kyuhyun", "Yesung," or "he." Using epithets such as "the other/shorter/younger" start to sound like you're trying to find another pronoun when, you know, "he" or "Kyuhyun/Yesung" are perfectly fine to use :) If it's confusion with the characters since they're the same gender, try to take it from a different angle instead of from the characters then. Just don't use epithets!

Ack, I didn't mean to make this sound so critical, ahaha. They're both sexy beasts, as always. Kudos to you! ♥

[ladye_black]

No, no! Thank you! I dislike using names all of the time because it just sounds repetitive. Especially with only two characters. And like I said, first PWP, so I'm really used to writing longer fics where some thinking is required and there isn't so much back and forth, but more internal dialogue, so it's less confusing about who is doing what.

And that "HE" should totally be lowercase. That will get fixed then...as for the other, I will take your comments into consideration should I write more like this, but I probably won't fix that bit up too much, haha...XD

Again, thank you so much! Your comments were extremely helpful! ^_^