Fic: Inception, Arthur/Eames

[ladye_black]

Title: You don't know what you have, until someone else has it
Author: Ladye Black
Rating: T
Word Count: ~1900
Summary: Arthur keeps "hitting on" Eames. Eames would like for it to stop...until someone else starts getting all of the attention.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. That's Chris Nolan. I just borrowed them.
Notes: This story first

Comments

[ladye_black]

Thank you so much for the positive feedback!

[anonymous]

You want to try maybe staying in one tense? I can't get through the first few paragraphs because you keep switching tenses.

[ladye_black]

Hmm, I couldn't find anything in the first few paragraphs (except for somehow forgetting to add a 'was' in one sentence), but I did find a few things later on. Maybe you could point out a specific one so I know what I am looking for? I did try to fix anything I saw, but my eye likes to skip and I miss things (obviously).

Thanks for the heads up though!

[niekebieke]

I just wanted to say I really liked this. It had a nice pacing to it and I loved that is it ended at the beginning of 'their story together'.

After reading the anon comment I went back and re-read the beginning and unless you changed something I believe you are using the correct tenses. You do use different tenses - the present simple and the one that uses ps of have + past participle - but you use of both is generally correct (I just put the 'generally' in there because I could also have looked over a mistake).

[ladye_black]

I'm so glad you liked it! And thank you so much for taking a look through it for mistakes! There were a few changes I made, most notably one that another commenter told me about, but none of them (except one) were in the beginning, and to me that doesn't speak of "in the first few paragraphs you keep changing tense." So...-shrug- I'm going to write it off as someone who doesn't really know how English grammar/story telling works trying to make like they do.

I really appreciate you taking the time to comment! Thank you so much! ^_^

[ladye_black]

I'm glad you enjoyed it! I was so nervous posting this! It's been some years since I made something public, lol.

[slashy_in_pink]

This is so adorable! I hope there's a sequel ♥

[ladye_black]

I'm glad you like it! ^_^

[pushdragon]

I like how you have Arthur being friendly and attentive to the new team members - really, the idea that Arthur is uptight and condescending is a figment of Eames's paranoia. I really enjoyed watching Eames slowly see the error of his ways.

The only tense shift I noticed was in the scene beginning 'It’s not until Eames sees Arthur interact with the new crew that he has any inkling that maybe he had some signals crossed.' It's not nearly as bad as anon's rather nasty comment makes out.

[ladye_black]

Yeah, I thought he was friendly to Ariadne. I think he'd only be condescending if they proved themselves to be extremely stupid.

I did catch a few things after Anon's comment, but if that's the only thing I missed, I'm relieved. Thank you so much for pointing it out and for your kind comments!