To Tear You Apart [One-shot]
Title: To Tear You Apart
Length: One-shot
Author: LadyDusk_Raku
Rating: R/NC-17
Genre: Angst, Drama, Dark
Pairings: YunJae (slight mention of ChunJae)
Summary: You did this, you destroyed it, and yet you can only bring him crashing down with you.
~/To Tear You Apart/~
You’re buried beneath the haze of alcohol and the thrumming music when you first see him stumble through the bar doorway. He’s high, you can tell by the way he leans weakly against the door, clutching his arm close as if that will hide the fact that he’s been shooting up again. The dark black strands of his hair hang limply in his face as he loiters around in the doorway, before shuffling toward the dance floor. He’s probably looking for peace and solitude you think, knocking back another heavy shot of liquor. He's always so easy to read. Your eyes follow his lithe figure as he sways unsteadily among the flickering lights and the wasted souls around him, his movements a second off beat with the rhythm...not that you care. No, your gaze is stuck onto those thin rocking hips, and that small rip in his worn shirt that shows just the right amount of skin…
Your feet are moving before you even think about it, there's a crash of the shot glass shattering on the floor behind you as you misjudge placing it on the table. The bar is dark with the evening light, filled with smoke lingering from every corner of the room. You brush aside a few of the dancing bodies as you pass, only focused on him. His back is to you and you faintly think you’re cruel for bothering him, but you can even ponder on the thought you no longer care. You stumble forward in your drunkenness, and latch your arms around his waist tightly. He freezes, confused.
“High again, huh?” You drawl snidely. The smaller male jerks against you somewhat sluggishly, already recognizing the drunken slur.
“Let me go, Yunho.” He claws at your hands. You scoff at his attempt, pulling him around to face you so that you can clearly see him trying to fight the drug for clarity.
“What," you sing-song lazily. "Did I just ruin your high? You can always get more, just work on a corner for a bit of cash or suck off some dealer hanging around. I'm not the only one by now who knows you’re good at it, Jae.” Jaejoong’s expression turns feral as he leans back and spits into your face. You jerk at the action, tightening your grip on his wrist and wiping your face. “Bitch!” You turn and storm off angry, forcefully dragging him along with you. You can feel him fighting against the grip, panicking and worried about where you’re headed. As you round the corner leading to the back room, you swing him around and slam him into the wall with a loud thud, cracking his head against it.
Your lips are meshing against his almost immediately, covering the pained groan he lets out; he cringes back against the overwhelming stench of the liquor. He's always hated alcohol; claimed it did horrible things to people. It’s funny to you, seeing as how he’s always strung out on heroin or ecstasy these days. You grin, following his movements as he tries to twist his head away and push you off. Jae puts up a fight for a while, but he’s always been a bit weak when it came to will power so you’re not surprised at all when he finally gives in. He bites back hard in retaliation, anger at himself and you fueling his limbs as he continues to resist. It’s no use, you know you’re stronger than him. Your knee pries open his clenched legs and you grab a handful of his dirty locks, forcing the kiss deeper as you grind your body into his. Teeth clamp down so hard on your tongue that the two of you taste blood, you ignore it. The blood rushing down south is what has your attention. Oxygen demands that you let him go and you break, Jaejoong jerking away instantly and giving you a fierce glare. A smudge of red stains his lips, like a morbid coating of gloss.
Ever the fucking pretty one.
Your grip tightens as you turn to the door of the back room, an empty waste of space where drunken stragglers and junk alike would usually end up. Jaejoong gives a violent jolt as he realizes your intention, but the worn look in his eyes betrays how expected this was.
“Y-Yunho, no. NO.”
You grab him around the waist, stumbling along with him in tow. He struggles in vain, kicking and twisting even as you push the door open with your shoulder and shove him inside. He trips and falls against a long table against the wall. It’s dim, dusty and full of scattered trash, a setting you can’t disagree with. Jaejoong slides down to the floor, staring at the opposite wall with a resigned look.
“Already giving in after all tha' fuss, you’re a complete whore.” You mock, shutting the door and walking over. He glares up at you, the dark bags under his eyes seemingly worse with the dull, orange, flickering light swinging over head.
“I’m not the one who cheated in the first place!” He shoots back in the same mocking manner, his voice hoarse and raspy. Your jaw clenches and so does your fist. You want to hit him for even bringing it up, but you realize it’s probably the one thing you can never do. ...Fuck it. He can mouth off all he wants, you decide. You yank him up off the floor and push him down onto the table, unable to think about arguing with the raging hard-on you have pressing against your pants. He instinctively fights against you as you tear off his shirt and latch onto his neck with eager teeth, even though he’s too drained to keep you from doing it. You climb up to straddle him on the table, yanking his jeans off as much as possible in your impatience. Your own pants aren't even halfway down before you forcefully ram yourself into him, eliciting a raw cry from his weak throat. You’re completely selfish of your own needs, pounding him roughly and heedlessly; Jaejoong doesn’t hate it as much as he’d like to. He’s used to you. This routine, this life, and how you treat him. He scratches and bites like a hellcat, trying to leave you with as many scars and bloody gashes as you'll leave him with. You aren’t sure how many times or how long you go with him, only that it’s long after his pleas and fighting stop and that you’ve completely ridden yourself of your clothes. You bury yourself into him a final time, shuddering as the sudden exhaustion overtakes you and sends you falling on top of him.
The room smells rank of musk and sweat; the music from the bar easily creeps inside, like returning white noise. Settling reality. Jaejoong instantly squirms out from under you, scrambling to get away before he even thinks of catching his breath. A foot barely touches the ground before he drops, legs giving away under him and sending him crashing to the floor. A pained gasp rips from his lips, and turns into a hiss as he pauses, adjusting to the pain.
“Bastard.” He strains out, wincing. You stare at him from where you lay for a moment, taking in his pale back. Bruises are scattered all over him, you must have done more damage than you thought. Rolling over to turn your back to him, you jerk and let out a small hiss of your own, having forgotten about the group of gashes that now line your back. You let out a stream of curses.
“Shit-“
“I fucking hate you.” He rasps out. You stop, glancing over your shoulder to see him still on the floor, pants pulled half on. He still has his back facing you, but you see his hands clenching the denim tightly as he mumbles. “It didn’t have to turn out like this. It shouldn’t have.” A thin shudder runs through him. Your gaze returns to the wall, and you close your eyes against the hazy wave of scenes that rush at you. Expired smiles and faded laughter. You snort, shrugging as you refuse to glance in his direction.
“She was hot, and I got tired of pathetic little you. The bitch went behind my back and took everything I ever owned. Shit happens.” Jaejoong scoffs bitterly, taking in a shaky breath as he finishes pulling on his jeans. For a moment you think he’ll cry, but you know he wont. You’ve never seen him cry once. Not even when you had kicked him out. The thought of it sort of makes you feel guilty, and that only serves to piss you off. You sneer over your shoulder as he grabs the remains of his shirt and attempts to stand. “What would you have to complain about anyway? I’ve heard about you and that new guy of yours, some Dr. Park or whatever, right? Heh, spreading your legs so easily-“
“I wouldn’t!” Jaejoong cries vehemently, shocking the both of you into silence. You stare silently as he limps to the wall near the door and leans against it, exhausted. He pauses for a moment. “...He’s just a guy, actually trying to help me…h-he probably even loves me….the idiot.” He comments, barely audible. You snort, clasping your hands behind your head even though it irritates the scratches.
“Right. Tell him it’s a lost cause. He can ‘help’ you all he wants. I’ll see you around here weeks from now, and we’ll just do this all over again. We'll be together forever, Jae.” You laugh, only for him to interrupt again.
“No...” he whispers low as he stands in the doorway. He doesn’t look at you. “I won’t be alive weeks from now…give it a couple of months, and you won’t be either…so you're right...Yunnie.” He leaves the room, limping away and leaving the door to creak slowly to a close behind him. You stare after him, unable to say anything until the door completely shuts and his words sink in. You remember the bruises scattered all over his back, their meaning suddenly clearer to you. Your breathing grows heavy and harsh; you’re starting to hyperventilate with disbelief.
That can't be it. He can't leave like that!
Leaning down to grab an empty bottle on the ground, you fling it at the door, watching it shatter into millions of shards, like a replica of your entire life.
“SON OF A BITCH!” You fall back on the dingy table, uncaring of the dust and sweat that irritates your wounds further. You cup your face with your hands, ignoring the stinging in your eyes as you rock back and forth and laugh yourself sick.
~/---/~
AN: I wanted Angsty. So I made with the angsty. 3rd POV wasn't really cutting it with the feel I wanted for this one-shot, so I switched that shit up. Seems to have worked out much better. Hope this at least SORT of makes up for the lack of updates. You have no idea how much it's driven me up the wall not to update more and have better chances to write. This was just a random plot I thought up while listening to 'Tear You Apart' by She wants Revenge. It gave me the perfect atmosphere too. Expect another angsty ass YunJae from me some time soon as well, and not to mention that this one-shot has a ChunJae drabble to accompany it. ^ ^ I won't forget to bring updates however. :P
Love you guys~
LDR