Fic: Remains
Series: No Day But Today
Title: Remains
Pair: Klaine
Word count: 2281
Warnings: possible triggers, highlight for details suicide
Pair: Klaine! And other background pairings.
Summary: Saffire wanders through town, observing and reflecting on her community and makeshift family.
AN: We're back to the main timeline. Sorry for the jumpback. I'll try to be clearer about when I'm leaping backward to fill something in.
The town was quiet. Two weeks after the bad flu outbreak, folks were still subdued. No performances, or parties. Just daily life. Wake, wash, sew, cook, sleep.
Saffire crossed her arms tightly over her chest as she walked through the town. Her dad was out making plans. Her only friend dead. Brittany didn’t want to play anymore. And while Kurt was sick, she couldn’t come over and spend time with him and the baby.
Saffire wasn’t afraid of Blaine anymore. He was a different person, now that he was a daddy, and she liked to watch him with Pippa. Seeing him and Kurt and the baby, that was just hope, right there. The three of them together were hope. Hope conceived out of pain, terror, and impossibility.
When she watched them, she remembered the smell of her dad’s aftershave, and tobacco, and the rough brush of his stubble on her cheek when he kissed her goodnight like she was a little baby again and promised promised promised her. Everything is going to be all right.
They hadn’t gotten word from her dad in a long time.
Her eyes flitted over to the porch, where Santana was sitting, her head resting against the wooden beam holding up the roof. Her eyes were sleepy and vacant. When they rested on Saffire, the girl half-expected Santana to snap at her.
“What the hell are you looking at, pipsqueak?” she’d say.
Instead, she blinked slowly, curled her knees up to her chest, and looked out over the town. Waiting for Brittany. Waiting for her broken doll.
Saffire drew nearer and sat with her for a minute. A weak, wry smile tugged at Santana’s lips, and she put her arm around Saffire’s shoulders. She waited with her for a bit, until Brittany came bouncing down the path.
“Thanks.” Santana touched her nose.
“No problem.” Saffire rose and left. Behind her Brittany was energetically pulling Santana to her feet, and together they went into the house.
Saffire wasn’t sure if Santana still felt sick, or if she was just tired. It was easy to get too tired. She’d seen a lot of them go through periods of wanting to give up. Tina, Rafe, even Mr. Hummel.
She drifted down the pathway and wandered past one of the lookout spots. Nick was up there, today, his crossbow resting on his shoulder as he leaned back with an easy grin. Next to him, half sitting on the stool with his fake leg straight forward, was Rafe. There was no grin on his face. Rafe didn’t smile so much, because he was lonely and hurting. But his cheeks were bright red, right now.
Nick laughed and squeezed Rafe’s shoulder. Rafe dipped his head and shook it.
“...not the kind of guy who can do that...”
“...something about those rosebud lips of yours. I think they’re tryin’ to tell me something.”
“Hush, you. Stop teasing me! It’s not fair!”
“Maybe I’m just curious,” Nick answered.
Saffire leaned into the stairs, trying to make herself invisible as she strained to listen.
“No offense, honey. You’re cute and everything. And I’ll admit that I don’t have the best selection at the moment. But I’m not anyone’s experiment. I have my pride even if I misplaced parts of me.”
“I-” Nick’s grin faded. Rafe’s joke wasn’t very funny. Also he was probably not just talking about his leg. “-um, I uh... Didn’t mean it like that. Sorry.”
“No. I’m just touchy.” Rafe lifted his head and rolled his eyes upward. “Must be getting my period.”
Nick chuckled. “Yeah, you, me, and Blaine, all! It’s just... I’m not saying... You’re not an experiment. I’m saying I’m a option. I know I’m not anybody’s first choice. Gay, straight, boy, or girl.”
“Oh, don’t be like that.”
“Do you know what it’s like being around dreamboats like Blaine? All the girls wanted him even when they knew he was gay! And he wasn’t the only really attractive guy I’ve performed with... David has the greatest smile and dance moves. He’s like a Disney prince, and Wes was like a sexy, uptight librarian. Now, Kurt was a stealth hottie. You thought he was this cute little babygay, and suddenly he was a hotass. I was always happy to be part of the group.” Nick shrugged. “But I’m the funny guy. Not the hot one. I understand if the answer is just no. I really do.”
“Oh. Oh, sweetie, don’t...” Rafe grabbed his hand. “You know that’s not why! There’s nothing wrong with you, hon.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Nick waved his hand. “It’s not you, it’s me.”
“What do you want from me, Nick? It’s not like you even think that you’re gay.”
“I don’t know what I think. Bi-curi-something-whatever. I know you make me laugh harder than anyone ever has in my life. I’d rather spend time peeling potatoes with you than be hangin’ in some posh survivor center somewhere, if that existed, any day of the week. And I know I don’t want to die alone.”
“It’s not exactly ‘You complete me,’” Rafe replied dryly. “But it is sweet.”
Saffire poked her head out further. Rafe grabbed Nick’s shirt, pulled him close, and kissed him.
She bit back a giggle before darting away.
As she slowed down, Saffire realized she was near Kurt and Blaine’s house. She went up onto the porch and pressed her ear to the window to see if she could hear the baby. Tina had told her Kurt was feeling a little better, but if he wasn’t up and half-running the camp, he probably felt weak, still.
A weird groan came from inside. She screwed her brows together. Then there was a gasp, and a laugh.
“Oh, oh... You’re killing me!” Blaine cried.
Saffire’s eyes widened.
“Poor baby,” Kurt replied. His voice was a little hoarse.
Blaine gasped again. Saffire moved to the window. From there she could see them both on the couch... And Kurt was on top of Blaine, his hands possessively grabbing Blaine’s naked hips.
Her eyes grew wider, and she bolted from the house.
At least Kurt was feeling better.
It was funny how everyone was feeling all romantic right now. Coupling up and kissing like they were married. There had even been some rumors that Kurt and Blaine would have a ceremony, but it hadn’t happened yet. She wondered if it would. If they did, everyone would get really happy. For a while, anyway.
It was like focusing on this stuff gave them something to hold onto. Like without this, there wouldn’t be much. Santana would probably slip away from them. Brittany would get lost (literally). Blaine would... Life would get too scary, feel too alone. Maybe if there were any boys her age, or girls, she would be doing the same thing, instead of sewing and spying and learning combat techniques. Nick was right that David was cute, but he was nineteen, and it would be weird. He treated her like his little sister. Everyone did.
She’d been adopted, sort of.
Saffire kicked the cold dirt and walked back to the house where she slept with Tina and Mama Chang in the next room. She dropped down onto the stairs and let herself fall back onto her palms. The sky was gray and the clouds were rushing across the wide expanse, like it was running from something. But there was nowhere to run. Not really. Just a place to hide, for now.
Some time had passed when Saffire jumped hard enough to fall back onto her elbows. The jolt of pain smarted, but she ignored it, looking around for the noise had startled her. It was familiar, but at the same time...
She jumped up and scanned the grounds, wanting to see where it had come from. Her heart was pounding like a hammer in her chest. Should she get a weapon? Had they opened fire on a walker?
A moment later Finn and Mike came jogging by with weapons in hand. Soon people were spilling out of their houses, looking around, just as confused as she was.
Then there was crying. A deep, raw wail that came from the pits of a person’s insides. Saffire pushed her way through the others to see who was making such an awful sound.
Deirdre was on her knees. Her soul coming out through her chest. The noise continued for several minutes, and even Mrs. Chang couldn’t seem to make her stop. Kurt came running up, out of breath and disheveled, and he just put his arms around her and whispered in her ear with his tender, strong voice.
It’s gonna be all right.
It took Saffire a while to understand what was happening. She didn’t even register it until they were carrying a long, heavy something wrapped in a sheet out of Deirdre and Mikhail’s house. It was Mikhail. What was left of him. Blood dribbled out of one end. Then something dropped to the ground, grisly and wet and covered in Mikhail’s dark hair.
Saffire felt herself beginning to shake, and before she knew it, she was in the dirt, curled up and unable to speak. When strong hands took her, she didn’t even look. She just let them lift her up and carry her away. A gentle, smooth voice whispered there theres, and she was rapped up in a blanket and set on a couch.
When Saffire opened her eyes, she screwed her brows together and blinked at Blaine. He took her hand and gave her a smile. Nick was right about him, too. He was kind of a dreamboat, when he wasn’t crazy.
“It’s okay, Saff. That was intense, just now.”
“He gave up. There aren’t even any walkers around. And he had Deirdre, and everyone else, and he gave up.”
“I know,” Blaine whispered. “It’s... Just understand. No one can make the decision for you. You have to decide to live on your own terms. I think it was that way before, too. But now... We just have to be there for her. Kurt’s with her right now, so we don’t lose her, too. He’ll be back, though.”
Her face hot, and her skin crawling, Saffire wiggled into a sitting position. She wondered if they’d wiped off the couch afterward. They probably did, since Finn and Van used it (hopefully not for that), too, and Kurt was super clean.
“Is Kurt enough for you? Is Pippa? Would you ever do that?” Saffire eyed him sharply.
Saffire didn’t even have time to scream. Suddenly an arm was around her throat, strong and warm and unyielding and smelling like musky, unwashed human life instead of old death.
“GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM!”
The gun pressed to her temple as she was dragged into the street, and she wanted to be strong, she did, a strong, grown-up girl like how her father had told her she needed to be to survive. But all she could do was make choked, babyish noises and scream for her daddy.
“I love you. You are not going to kill a kid. These are people. Put the fucking gun down. We have enough enemies out here. Please. I love you.”
Her voice softened as she looked into Blaine’s eyes. They had so much filling them up now, not empty and horrible anymore. “Do you think my dad would give up?”
“He wouldn’t,” Blaine replied without a second of hesitation. “You’re his daughter. He has to be there for you. He just has to. There’s nothing else in this world but you, for him.”
Saffire smiled softly. Blaine was such a daddy.
“It’s our ties to each other that keep us here. I know there’s not much other reason to live, if you don’t believe we’ll ever make it to a place that’s safe.” Blaine sat next to her. “But Kurt believes it. Before the baby, there was a moment when I wanted to give up, but I have hope. I have faith in Kurt, and Finn, and our friends, and your dad, and Kurt’s dad, and Rafe’s mom. I believe that if there’s a way to safety, we’ll find it. But we have to stay alive to make that happen.”
“Poor Deirdre.”
Saffire let out a little sob. And like a traitor, it left the door open for others. She couldn’t stop crying. And she didn’t even know Mikhail that well. He hadn’t liked children, her or Juni. He was even weird around Kurt and Rafe sometimes. But the weight of a bullet splattering his brains again the wall of his house, the remains of his skull dripping out of the sheet...
There had to be joy in the world. There had to be happiness, and families, and there had to be trust in one another. There had to be ties that were stronger than the fear. There just had to be.
Blaine rubbed her back until she grew exhausted. That night, Blaine and Kurt put her in their bed, and she got to help put Pippa down for the night.
They kept her there with them, until her father returned with news.
Next Part: Don't Go
This entry was originally posted at Dreamwidth.
comments posted there. Please comment there using OpenID or your DW account.
Title: Remains
Pair: Klaine
Word count: 2281
Warnings: possible triggers, highlight for details suicide
Pair: Klaine! And other background pairings.
Summary: Saffire wanders through town, observing and reflecting on her community and makeshift family.
AN: We're back to the main timeline. Sorry for the jumpback. I'll try to be clearer about when I'm leaping backward to fill something in.
The town was quiet. Two weeks after the bad flu outbreak, folks were still subdued. No performances, or parties. Just daily life. Wake, wash, sew, cook, sleep.
Saffire crossed her arms tightly over her chest as she walked through the town. Her dad was out making plans. Her only friend dead. Brittany didn’t want to play anymore. And while Kurt was sick, she couldn’t come over and spend time with him and the baby.
Saffire wasn’t afraid of Blaine anymore. He was a different person, now that he was a daddy, and she liked to watch him with Pippa. Seeing him and Kurt and the baby, that was just hope, right there. The three of them together were hope. Hope conceived out of pain, terror, and impossibility.
When she watched them, she remembered the smell of her dad’s aftershave, and tobacco, and the rough brush of his stubble on her cheek when he kissed her goodnight like she was a little baby again and promised promised promised her. Everything is going to be all right.
They hadn’t gotten word from her dad in a long time.
Her eyes flitted over to the porch, where Santana was sitting, her head resting against the wooden beam holding up the roof. Her eyes were sleepy and vacant. When they rested on Saffire, the girl half-expected Santana to snap at her.
“What the hell are you looking at, pipsqueak?” she’d say.
Instead, she blinked slowly, curled her knees up to her chest, and looked out over the town. Waiting for Brittany. Waiting for her broken doll.
Saffire drew nearer and sat with her for a minute. A weak, wry smile tugged at Santana’s lips, and she put her arm around Saffire’s shoulders. She waited with her for a bit, until Brittany came bouncing down the path.
“Thanks.” Santana touched her nose.
“No problem.” Saffire rose and left. Behind her Brittany was energetically pulling Santana to her feet, and together they went into the house.
Saffire wasn’t sure if Santana still felt sick, or if she was just tired. It was easy to get too tired. She’d seen a lot of them go through periods of wanting to give up. Tina, Rafe, even Mr. Hummel.
She drifted down the pathway and wandered past one of the lookout spots. Nick was up there, today, his crossbow resting on his shoulder as he leaned back with an easy grin. Next to him, half sitting on the stool with his fake leg straight forward, was Rafe. There was no grin on his face. Rafe didn’t smile so much, because he was lonely and hurting. But his cheeks were bright red, right now.
Nick laughed and squeezed Rafe’s shoulder. Rafe dipped his head and shook it.
“...not the kind of guy who can do that...”
“...something about those rosebud lips of yours. I think they’re tryin’ to tell me something.”
“Hush, you. Stop teasing me! It’s not fair!”
“Maybe I’m just curious,” Nick answered.
Saffire leaned into the stairs, trying to make herself invisible as she strained to listen.
“No offense, honey. You’re cute and everything. And I’ll admit that I don’t have the best selection at the moment. But I’m not anyone’s experiment. I have my pride even if I misplaced parts of me.”
“I-” Nick’s grin faded. Rafe’s joke wasn’t very funny. Also he was probably not just talking about his leg. “-um, I uh... Didn’t mean it like that. Sorry.”
“No. I’m just touchy.” Rafe lifted his head and rolled his eyes upward. “Must be getting my period.”
Nick chuckled. “Yeah, you, me, and Blaine, all! It’s just... I’m not saying... You’re not an experiment. I’m saying I’m a option. I know I’m not anybody’s first choice. Gay, straight, boy, or girl.”
“Oh, don’t be like that.”
“Do you know what it’s like being around dreamboats like Blaine? All the girls wanted him even when they knew he was gay! And he wasn’t the only really attractive guy I’ve performed with... David has the greatest smile and dance moves. He’s like a Disney prince, and Wes was like a sexy, uptight librarian. Now, Kurt was a stealth hottie. You thought he was this cute little babygay, and suddenly he was a hotass. I was always happy to be part of the group.” Nick shrugged. “But I’m the funny guy. Not the hot one. I understand if the answer is just no. I really do.”
“Oh. Oh, sweetie, don’t...” Rafe grabbed his hand. “You know that’s not why! There’s nothing wrong with you, hon.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Nick waved his hand. “It’s not you, it’s me.”
“What do you want from me, Nick? It’s not like you even think that you’re gay.”
“I don’t know what I think. Bi-curi-something-whatever. I know you make me laugh harder than anyone ever has in my life. I’d rather spend time peeling potatoes with you than be hangin’ in some posh survivor center somewhere, if that existed, any day of the week. And I know I don’t want to die alone.”
“It’s not exactly ‘You complete me,’” Rafe replied dryly. “But it is sweet.”
Saffire poked her head out further. Rafe grabbed Nick’s shirt, pulled him close, and kissed him.
She bit back a giggle before darting away.
As she slowed down, Saffire realized she was near Kurt and Blaine’s house. She went up onto the porch and pressed her ear to the window to see if she could hear the baby. Tina had told her Kurt was feeling a little better, but if he wasn’t up and half-running the camp, he probably felt weak, still.
A weird groan came from inside. She screwed her brows together. Then there was a gasp, and a laugh.
“Oh, oh... You’re killing me!” Blaine cried.
Saffire’s eyes widened.
“Poor baby,” Kurt replied. His voice was a little hoarse.
Blaine gasped again. Saffire moved to the window. From there she could see them both on the couch... And Kurt was on top of Blaine, his hands possessively grabbing Blaine’s naked hips.
Her eyes grew wider, and she bolted from the house.
At least Kurt was feeling better.
It was funny how everyone was feeling all romantic right now. Coupling up and kissing like they were married. There had even been some rumors that Kurt and Blaine would have a ceremony, but it hadn’t happened yet. She wondered if it would. If they did, everyone would get really happy. For a while, anyway.
It was like focusing on this stuff gave them something to hold onto. Like without this, there wouldn’t be much. Santana would probably slip away from them. Brittany would get lost (literally). Blaine would... Life would get too scary, feel too alone. Maybe if there were any boys her age, or girls, she would be doing the same thing, instead of sewing and spying and learning combat techniques. Nick was right that David was cute, but he was nineteen, and it would be weird. He treated her like his little sister. Everyone did.
She’d been adopted, sort of.
Saffire kicked the cold dirt and walked back to the house where she slept with Tina and Mama Chang in the next room. She dropped down onto the stairs and let herself fall back onto her palms. The sky was gray and the clouds were rushing across the wide expanse, like it was running from something. But there was nowhere to run. Not really. Just a place to hide, for now.
Some time had passed when Saffire jumped hard enough to fall back onto her elbows. The jolt of pain smarted, but she ignored it, looking around for the noise had startled her. It was familiar, but at the same time...
She jumped up and scanned the grounds, wanting to see where it had come from. Her heart was pounding like a hammer in her chest. Should she get a weapon? Had they opened fire on a walker?
A moment later Finn and Mike came jogging by with weapons in hand. Soon people were spilling out of their houses, looking around, just as confused as she was.
Then there was crying. A deep, raw wail that came from the pits of a person’s insides. Saffire pushed her way through the others to see who was making such an awful sound.
Deirdre was on her knees. Her soul coming out through her chest. The noise continued for several minutes, and even Mrs. Chang couldn’t seem to make her stop. Kurt came running up, out of breath and disheveled, and he just put his arms around her and whispered in her ear with his tender, strong voice.
It’s gonna be all right.
It took Saffire a while to understand what was happening. She didn’t even register it until they were carrying a long, heavy something wrapped in a sheet out of Deirdre and Mikhail’s house. It was Mikhail. What was left of him. Blood dribbled out of one end. Then something dropped to the ground, grisly and wet and covered in Mikhail’s dark hair.
Saffire felt herself beginning to shake, and before she knew it, she was in the dirt, curled up and unable to speak. When strong hands took her, she didn’t even look. She just let them lift her up and carry her away. A gentle, smooth voice whispered there theres, and she was rapped up in a blanket and set on a couch.
When Saffire opened her eyes, she screwed her brows together and blinked at Blaine. He took her hand and gave her a smile. Nick was right about him, too. He was kind of a dreamboat, when he wasn’t crazy.
“It’s okay, Saff. That was intense, just now.”
“He gave up. There aren’t even any walkers around. And he had Deirdre, and everyone else, and he gave up.”
“I know,” Blaine whispered. “It’s... Just understand. No one can make the decision for you. You have to decide to live on your own terms. I think it was that way before, too. But now... We just have to be there for her. Kurt’s with her right now, so we don’t lose her, too. He’ll be back, though.”
Her face hot, and her skin crawling, Saffire wiggled into a sitting position. She wondered if they’d wiped off the couch afterward. They probably did, since Finn and Van used it (hopefully not for that), too, and Kurt was super clean.
“Is Kurt enough for you? Is Pippa? Would you ever do that?” Saffire eyed him sharply.
Saffire didn’t even have time to scream. Suddenly an arm was around her throat, strong and warm and unyielding and smelling like musky, unwashed human life instead of old death.
“GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM!”
The gun pressed to her temple as she was dragged into the street, and she wanted to be strong, she did, a strong, grown-up girl like how her father had told her she needed to be to survive. But all she could do was make choked, babyish noises and scream for her daddy.
“I love you. You are not going to kill a kid. These are people. Put the fucking gun down. We have enough enemies out here. Please. I love you.”
Her voice softened as she looked into Blaine’s eyes. They had so much filling them up now, not empty and horrible anymore. “Do you think my dad would give up?”
“He wouldn’t,” Blaine replied without a second of hesitation. “You’re his daughter. He has to be there for you. He just has to. There’s nothing else in this world but you, for him.”
Saffire smiled softly. Blaine was such a daddy.
“It’s our ties to each other that keep us here. I know there’s not much other reason to live, if you don’t believe we’ll ever make it to a place that’s safe.” Blaine sat next to her. “But Kurt believes it. Before the baby, there was a moment when I wanted to give up, but I have hope. I have faith in Kurt, and Finn, and our friends, and your dad, and Kurt’s dad, and Rafe’s mom. I believe that if there’s a way to safety, we’ll find it. But we have to stay alive to make that happen.”
“Poor Deirdre.”
Saffire let out a little sob. And like a traitor, it left the door open for others. She couldn’t stop crying. And she didn’t even know Mikhail that well. He hadn’t liked children, her or Juni. He was even weird around Kurt and Rafe sometimes. But the weight of a bullet splattering his brains again the wall of his house, the remains of his skull dripping out of the sheet...
There had to be joy in the world. There had to be happiness, and families, and there had to be trust in one another. There had to be ties that were stronger than the fear. There just had to be.
Blaine rubbed her back until she grew exhausted. That night, Blaine and Kurt put her in their bed, and she got to help put Pippa down for the night.
They kept her there with them, until her father returned with news.
Next Part: Don't Go
This entry was originally posted at Dreamwidth.
comments posted there. Please comment there using OpenID or your DW account.