If The Crime Fits The Punishment - Chapter Twenty Four

[ladydeathfaerie]

Title: If The Crime Fits the Punishment
Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: no one under 18. this is grown up business. meaning lots of dirty words and sexual escapades.
Warnings: sex, some mild violence, gratuitous use of a Scottish brogue, lots of swearing and a cat that's plotting world domination. no, really!
Disclaimer: i don't own any of the recognizable characters in here. nor do i own places and events and the whole magical realm. everything belongs to J.K. Rowling. she is the genius and i merely bask in the glow of her talent. Kendra is mine, as is Wickersham. and the plot, such as it is. please don't hurt me or sue me or make disparaging comments about me or anything like that. i'm broke, i like pain and i've got a really wicked temper, which means i'll probably be mean back. you have been warned.

Author's Note: this was the only fic i used a beta on. with exception of Gin's work on Beyond Death, i think i do pretty okay on my own. and, as i wasn't savvy with HTML when i wrote this, all thoughts were denoted by the use of tildes ~...~

If The Crime Fits The Punishment - The Index

Chapter Twenty Four: Mistreatment Before Marriage
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once the Expo was over, business at The Three Broomsticks slowed down. Kendra was glad, because she was sure she grew more cumbersome as the days passed. Snow had come in the middle of the Expo, leaving the world white washed and pristine. The months had turned from October to November to December. The village was filled with holiday spirit. Many of the shops had decorated their windows festively. People young and old could be heard caroling up and down the streets. She couldn't help but share in the holiday cheer, it was so contagious.

She had been pleasantly surprised when, only a day or two after the Expo had wrapped up, Illiana walked into the pub and sat at the bar. She informed Kendra that she had decided to stay in the U.K. for an extended visit. She said would love to see some of the country with the red head acting as her guide. Kendra agreed happily.

Over the course of her pregnancy, her mother had been visiting at least once a month. She found Morgaine to be a plethera of knowledge on the subject, as she had carried and given birth to eight children. Of the lot, she had been the only one to be born female. And the youngest. Her big brothers, all seven of them, had been an overprotective lot. They had always been there to fight her battles for her as she'd grown up. She could only imagine what they thought of this slight twist of fate. She was sure they knew, despite the fact that she didn't hear from them all that often. In all honesty, she hadn't seen any of them since she'd graduated Hogwarts.

The first weekend of the month of December found Morgaine arriving by floo, announcing they were going shopping. When Kendra returned to her cottage that evening, it was with her arms loaded with bags. Morgaine had gone overboard buying clothes and toys for her grandchild. It was to also find Severus waiting for her, a scowl on his face. He was, apparently, unhappy with her being gone. He took the bags from her arms before slicing into her hide with his razor sharp tongue. When he had finished his tirade, she grinned up at him. Then she informed him, in her sweetest voice, that she had missed him, too. The scowl disappeared, to be replaced with a very faint smile. She spent the rest of the evening wrapped tightly in his arms.

She spent more time at home these days. Rosemerta had lightened her work duties considerably, giving her more time to rest. Kendra was bloody bored. It was on one of these days that a knock at the door had her wondering who would be visiting her. She knew it wasn't Severus, as it wasn't any where near his lunch hour. It wasn't her mum, because Morgaine merely flooed in whenever she chose. She was terribly surprised when she opened the door and found Illiana standing there, a big smile on her face.

'Come in,' Kendra stepped back. Illiana entered the cozy cottage, along with a gust of cold air. Kendra quickly pushed the door closed. She allowed the other woman to study her surroundings for a few moments. Then the blonde was looking at her. 'What brings you out to my humble home on such a cold day?'

' I've come to take you shopping,' her smile seemed to grow bigger as the words tumbled from her lips.

'Oh no,' Kendra shook her head. ' I'm not going anywhere.'

'Why not?' Illiana questioned.

' I'm as big as a house, that's why,' she gestured to her belly. While it was true that there was no hiding the fact she was going to have a baby, Illiana didn't think she qualified as a housing unit quite yet.

'Nonsense,' Illiana shook her head. 'You might like to change into something a little more suited to the day's activities.' Kendra looked down at her clothes, wondering what was wrong with the old sweat pants and man's t shirt.

' I don't mean to sound rude, but piss off! I'm not going any where,' Kendra retorted, crossing her arms over her chest. The resulting image was something Illiana couldn't help but laugh at. Her arms were situated between her breasts and her tummy. There were bumps every where. The frown became a fierce scowl that looked as if it had just come off of Snape's face. The similarities were frightening.

'Surely you don't want to sit in the cottage all day? All by yourself?' Illiana raised a brow to emphasize the question. Kendra glared at her before turning on her heel and stomping into her bedroom. The girl actually stomped. This day was going to be such fun.

It was not much later that the two women found themselves in Diagon Alley. Kendra had changed into a set of dark blue robes, covering herself with a heavy woolen cloak to cut the cold. She was still wearing a faint scowl. She was not happy to have been forced into leaving the warmth of the cottage. She had decided she would find some way to make this up to her gleeful captor.

The two of them went into a specialty clothing store, dealing specifically with women's dress robes and matching gowns. Kendra had no clue as to why they were in there. Illiana dragged her over to a rack of robes, thumbing through them rapidly. She stopped at one, eyeing it critically for a few moments before lifting it from the rack. Kendra thought her eyes would drop out of her head when she looked at it.

The gown was made of silk, it's color a vibrant emerald green. It had a scooped neckline that would rest low on the shoulders, exposing flesh while still being somewhat demure. The sleeves would fit tight to the arms, a row of small black buttons running the length of them from the elbow to the cuff. They would end in a vee somewhere over the wearer's hands when on.

A line of the same small buttons ran down the back, starting at the top of the vee that sat just between the shoulder blades to a few inches below the natural waist. The waist was high while the skirt was a simple A-line. There was enough material in the back to create a flowing train. It would hang and flow with stylish grace. Beads of jet black hung from the hem and the neckline. It was very simple, yet terribly elegant.

The robes that went with the gown were of a darker shade of green, hanging in straight lines to the floor. There was a train that dragged out behind the person wearing it. More of the beading hung around the robes' hems, running up the front to follow around the neckline. There were three strands of the decorative beads hanging from the sides of the arm holes, creating a small fan of color against the arm. Fine linen had been used in the making of the robes. The colors were well matched.

'This is perfect for you!' Illiana exclaimed, laying the gown against Kendra's frame.

'Oh yes, Perfect, indeed,' the sales witch nodded emphatically. 'Why don't you go try it on? It'll go so well with your hair and eyes.'

She gave her best scowl to Illiana, then took the garments and headed for the nearest changing room. Her gaze swept the shop, searching for something she could break. She didn't find anything to smash. She did, however, find something else. Payback. Stopping by the rack nearest her, she lifted a sleeve and fingered it. A calculating gleam came to her eyes. With a huge grin on her face, she turned back to face the smiling woman behind her. ' I'll try this on, so long as you try this one on,' she insisted, pulling the gown from the rack it was on.

Illiana was left speechless for a moment, wondering how the topic of conversation had gotten this far off course. She saw the look in Kendra's eyes and knew the red head would never put on the clothing unless Illiana did the same. After another moment's hesitation, the silver maned woman shook her head. She then followed the red head into the dressing stalls, the chosen gown clutched tightly in the grasp of the sales witch's hands.

'Alright, you conniving little witch. Come out and let me see you,' Illiana instructed, already dressed in the garb Kendra had chosen for her. The dress was a shimmering, silvery green that looked alot like the colors of Slytherin House. The robes that went with it were a dark green, making her hair seem even more silver. She heard Kendra mumbling, then the door to the dressing room opened. The red head stepped out, fully encased in the flowing green gown and robes.

'Oh dear!' the sales witch murmured.

'What?' Kendra demanded. She turned to look for a mirror.

'You look beautiful,' Illiana told her. The sales witch used a hand to guide her to a mirror. The face she stared at was familiar, as was the hair. But she wasn't prepared to see the woman looking back at her. The gown and robes did, indeed, enhance her eyes. They were darker, inviting one to stare at them. Get lost in them. Her hair lay over her shoulders, shining brightly against the green fabric caressing her skin. She truly didn't recognize herself. 'What? No comment?'

' It's stunning,' Kendra murmured, still staring at herself in the mirror.

'Yes, dear. You are. Now, you need shoes to complete the outfit,' Illiana insisted, twisting her head to look at the far wall. It contained shoes of every imaginable style, every color available. She casually levitated a pair toward the two of them, studying the style critcally before sending them back. Only to pick a new pair. She went through four pairs before settling on a low heeled green slipper that just matched the shade of the robes. It had some black bead work done to it. They were very simple slippers. They would complement the garments well.

'These will do nicely. Go take them off, then give them to the sales witch. You will be taking them home with you,' Illiana said arrogantly, her tone telling Kendra not to argue. As if it had ever stopped her before.

' I have no need of these!' she returned, putting her fisted hands on her hips. She was itching to fight. 'There's no reason for you to even think of buying them for me!'

'Nonsense. Every woman needs a set of dress robes. The little I've seen of your wardrobe suggests that youy have none. Consider this a gift from a friend. Now, back into your own robes so we can go get something to eat. I'm simply starving!' Illiana ordered, her tone full of pompous aristocracy. Kendra glared at her, muttering a few words under her breath. The other woman didn't flinch under her scowl, so she spun on her heel. Then she marched back into the changing room. She was certainly going to find some way to make her pay for this.

~*~*~*~*~

Kendra stepped from the back room of the pub with a stack of clean towels, having gone to fetch them so she could fill the empty spot behind the bar. She lowered herself down until she could kneel on the floor, then began putting the towels in their place. She was about to stand when she heard a familiar voice from just on the other side. 'Where's she at?' Professor Dumbledore's gentle voice asked, sounding as if it were filled with mischief.

' I sent her on an errand that should take her some time,' Rosemerta replied. Kendra got the feeling they were speaking of her. A frown pulled the corners of her mouth down. She stayed crouched behind the bar, shamelessly listening in on their conversation.

'Good. No need of her to overhear this,' Dumbledore said, paused for a moment, then went on. 'Everything is set, I take it?'

'Yes sir,' Rosemerta agreed. 'All the plans are well met. You only need ensure Severus comes.'

'Do not worry. I will make sure he attends the party. The entertainment has been booked?'

'Yes. A dancer by the name of Elemmire Lossehelin. I'm told she's a very erotic dancer,' Rosemerta informed the Headmaster. His tone of voice, when he spoke again, suggested he was surprised.

'An Elf? How ever was that managed?'

'A favor. Nothing more. Trust me, I've seen a picture of the girl. She will be worth the price she's asked. She will arrive here at about 6 pm Saturday evening to make herself ready. Did you invite any guests?'

'Yes. They will be here. As will Severus. Even if he doesn't want to be. I'll make sure of it.'

'Seven sharp, Albus,' Rosemerta reminded him. Dumbledore said something else, then the two voices faded away as they moved toward the door. Kendra sat on the floor, wondering what kind of party would need an exotic dancer. It took a moment or two before the words came to her. When they did, she wanted to start hexing people left and right. Severus was being dragged to a bloody stag party! A party where there would undoubtably be naked women. The thought did nothing to comfort her.

Illiana entered the small cottage to find Kendra sitting on her couch, staring blankly at the wall before her. The look on her face suggested she was once again troubled. Illiana went over to sit next to her, wondering what had happened this time. 'Kendra?' she asked softly.

' I dinna ken what I'm tae do!' the girl wailed, breaking out into a round of tears.

'About what?' Illiana immediately put her arm around the red head. Her accent was already bad. She'd never be comprehensible if it got any worse.

'Severus is going tae a party this Saturday. One where there'll be naked wenches aplenty! Including an Elven stripper!'

'An Elven stripper? Are you certain?' Illiana asked.

'Oh, aye. I'm certain. I heard it wi' m' own ears! I dinna think I can trust other women around him! He's sae bloody handsome!' she retorted angrily. She missed the look that Illiana gave her. The one that suggested perhaps Kendra needed her eyes checked. As well as a mental exam by a Muggle doctor. 'What am I supposed tae do?'

'What makes you think Severus will even go to the party?'

'Dumbledore promised he'd be there. And Severus willna tell Dumbledore no,' she sighed. ' I would go and keep an eye on the lot, but I'm certain they'd never let me through the door. I distinctly heard Albus tell Rosemerta there was no need fer me ta over hear anything.'

'You could disguise yourself,' Illiana suggested, her voice trailing off as the two of them glanced at her rounded stomach simultaneously. 'Ah, yes. I see how well that would work.'

'Obviously I canna go. But ye can!' Kendra at Illiana with hope in her eyes.

'They would know I was there spying for you,' she shook her head. ' I do happen to stand out in a crowd.'

'Yes, ye do. As ye are. But no' if ye were in disguise,' Kendra said, a grin spreading over her face. Her eyes sparkled green fire as she let her thoughts race.

'Disguise? You have Polyjuice Potion made? Who would I be going as?'

'Not Polyjuice Potion. It only lasts an hour, at any rate. And we certainly couldn't have two of someone showing up. No, I have something better in mind,' Kendra's brogue had slipped away again, telling Illiana she was once more calm. She stood, making her way out of the living area. When she returned, she held a book in her hands. Illiana looked at it, noting that the leather the book had been bound with was worn smooth from many years of handling. The letters on it looked like runes, only they were nothing she had ever seen before. 'This is an Elven Book of Spells. It's been in my family for many years. As I'm the only one in the family who took any interest in Elven languages, the book was given to me.'

'An Elven Book of Spells would help here how?' Illiana hitched up one silver brow in question.

' I can cast a spell from this book that would make you look like an Elf. For as long as is needed. I could even cast one that would allow you to only speak Elven. It would enable you to listen and observe without being found out. You would, for all intents and purposes, be an Elf.'

'An Elf? Are you certain it would work?' Illiana sounded skeptical.

'Of course it would work!' she nodded earnestly. Illiana had it on the tip of her tongue to tell Kendra no, but one look at the hope shimmering in the girl's green eyes decided her. She would do as the girl asked. She sighed, giving a quick nod of her head in agreement. The two of them then put their heads together to begin planning their course of action.

~*~*~*~*~

Severus scowled at the back of Albus' head as the older man lead the way into The Three Broomsticks. The Headmaster had insisted that the two of them walk into Hogsmeade. Dumbledore apparently didn't trust his Potions Master to keep his word. With good bloody reason. Had they flooed or Apparated, he might have been able to get away. But not when he'd had to walk with the insufferable old git the entire way. There had been no way to get out of the entire affair. Dumbledore had promised to make his life more hellish than it normally was. How, he wasn't certain. But he knew the old man was more than capable of living up to the threat.

The pub was empty, with exception of Madam Rosemerta and Hagrid. Someone had gone through the trouble of decorating the interior of the bar, setting to float candles that gave off different hued light. The tables were coverd with charmed table covers that somehow managed to reflect the colored lights back up at the ceiling. The room was a kaleidoscope of sublty shifting colors.

The one thing that Severus was glad about was that the holiday break had begun only five days ago, so there would be no students to worry about. None to stumble across this fiasco. He'd never live the disgrace down. Good, too, that he had asked Illiana to keep Kendra occupied for the evening. The woman had been told to do whatever it took to keep Kendra away from the pub for the duration of the night. He went to what appeared to be the main table, settling himself into one of the chairs. Arms folded over his chest, scowl firmly in place, he was as ready as he could ever be.

The door swung open. Little Professor Flitwick came in, shaking a fine layer of snow from his hat. The weather had decided to make it's self known. Snow had started falling almost as soon as Severus had stepped outside the front doors of the castle. The little man trundled over to where Snape sat and offered up a small hand. Grudgingly, the Potions Master loosed a hand from it's spot beneath his arm to shake the diminuative extremity thrust at him. 'Congratulations, Severus. I'm sure this is a happy occasion for you.'

'Thank you, Filius,' he replied in as repsectful a tone as he could manage. The Charms teacher took a seat, looking around the empty room with interest. Snape's attention was drawn to Madam Rosemerta as she moved toward Albus. She seemed to be worried about something, judging by the way her hands moved fratically as she spoke. Dumbledore lifted his hands in a placating move. Whatever he said to her seemed to be working, because she lost her frantic gestures. A smile actually flitted over her face before she moved away to step behind the bar.

The door opened again, this time allowing entrance to the man who would be Severus' father-in-law in only a handful of hours. Aengus MacLeod had a huge grin on his face. Snape wanted to see him dead for this hair brained idea that he would be forced to suffer through. The door was still open. Seven more men came in behind MacLeod. Severus' eyes narrowed as he studied them. He'd seen each and every one of them before. Granted, they'd been younger. But he'd taught them all Potions. Kendra had never mentioned she had siblings. Yet, here stood seven grown men who's similarities to both Aengus and Kendra was unquestionable.

One spoke to his father. The older man gestured to where Seveus sat. Seven pairs of eyes swung to stare at him. In a moment, every one of them knew who they were looking at. The frowns on each face said as much. Bloody fucking marvelous! How much more unpleasant would the night get?

He never should have asked. Within ten minutes of Clan MacLeod's arrival, half the Weasley family entered the pub. Ron lead the group, followed by the twin terrors, Fred and George. Snape's lips thinned out. Fuck. Moments later, Harry fucking Potter and Neville Longbottom showed up. Double fuck. His evening would not be complete until...... The arrogant smirk of Draco Malfoy filled his vision. Triple fuck. Gods, he needed a stiff drink.

The door opened yet again. He hoped there were no more guests. Severus was ready to throw Forbiddens at everyone so he could run like mad. The idea of a bachelor party was still giving him a case of the nasties. At least, nastier than usual. He watched the figure that moved into the bar. It was shrouded in a long, flowing cloak. But there was somethin oddly familiar about the size of the figure. The way it moved. He stood, moving toward where the stranger would meet with Albus.

'Professor Dumbledore, sir?' the voice asked in a language he'd not heard in a long time. Albus turned toward the owner of the figure as it pushed back it's hood with dainty hands. The face that appeared was pale, with pointed features that could mean only one thing. An Elf. Where the hell had they found an Elf?

' I apologze for my tardienss, sir. I am Aradhel Oronar. Elemmire Lossehelin sends her regrets, but there was an emergency she had to deal with. She sent me in her stead,' Aradhel said, her voice giving off a magical quality. It shimmered in the air, putting the mortal men around her into a nearly hypnotic state. With exception of himself and Albus. Magic used in voices was something they had charmed themselves against long ago.

' I am glad to make your acquaintance, Miss Oronar. I am also glad to know that nothing has befallen Miss Lossehelin,' he replied, the twinkle in his eye sparkling merrily. Severus stared at the female Elf before him, his eyes narrowing. Yes, it had been some time since he'd spoken or heard Elvish, but he recalled enough at present to know that the she-Elf had introduced herself as Illiana von Haifisch. He was certain that it was not merely coincidence. If the look on the Headmaster's face was anything to go by, he was thinking the same thing as Severus was.

Kendra had somehow found out. That, in itself, was not a good sign. But to have sent Miss von Haifisch in disguise told him the silly chit thought one of two things. Either she believed he would take the first woman he could grab to a store room and tumble her there. Or she thought that he would have women hanging all over him. Both ideas were ludicrous. Even if some other woman showed any sexual interest in him, which he found highly doubtful, he had made a commitment to Kendra. Whether she knew it or not. He was not about to just randomly start bedding wenches like some over muscled hero from the inane Muggle romance books he'd heard about. It was amazing what girls talked about.

Albus was saying something, his hand extended toward Severus. It made the Potions Master look up at the Elf before him. Her eyes were a deep red. Somewhere along the line of spilt blood. They slanted up at the corners, following the line of high cheek bones under dusty, pale gold skin. Her ears reached a peak at the top, sticking out between strands of hair that was nearly the same shade of gold as...... gold. Lips the color of wine were full, set in a natural pout. He could feel the testosterone level rising, while the IQ level dropped by leaps and bounds. She turned those eyes of hers on him, giving him a faint smile. ' A pleasure to meet you, Professor Snape. I give you congratulations on your impending marriage.'

'Thank you,' he replied, a faint quirk at the corners of his lips indicating he was smiling. His Elven was flawless as he spoke. He didn't miss it when her eyes went wide with surprise. 'Your beauty is as graceful as your tongue. It is a pleasure to meet you.'

'Let the party begin!' Albus called out happily. There was a cheer from the gathered group, then Rosemerta was bringing out the first round of drinks for the night. Music suddenly sprang to life, playing out of mid air. Something sounding faintly medieval filled the room. It was nothing more than some drums being beat rhythmically, accompanied by some sort of soft pipe. It was a slow beat. Every eye in the pub was brought round to stare at Aradhel as she moved forward, slipping the cloak from her shoulders as she did so.

A loose fitting gown in rust brown covered her frame, obscuring the woman's build from view for the moment. It was obvious, though, that her hips were swaying to the music. Her golden hair moved gently, like a curtain swaying in the breeze. The eyes of the young men were riveted to her as she moved, slowly working the gown over her shoulders.

The garment dropped to the floor, forgotten as she moved away from it. Underneath the loose gown was a sheer costume in two pieces. The top was in the form of a woman's bra, only it had been decorated with silver coins and sequins. It was black, the color of her skin looking more golden next to it. The material was not completely opaque, allowing for a faint hint of nipple to show through without exposing all. Every eye in the room was locked on the plentiful cleavage the top provided. The Elf was well endowed. He wasn't certain how Kendra had managed it, but he could admit she was bloody good.

The bottoms were black as well, the same material and thickness as the top. They were split up the sides of the legs, flashing strips of pale golden flesh as she moved about the room. She moved sinuously, sending all the little bells attached to the costume into tinkling contests. The light flashed off the silver accents, sparkles of color strobing over the men who watched in raw lust. If he hadn't known who it was, he might have been tempted to ogle the dancing woman, as well.

The first break in the entertainment came right after the first song, mostly because Malfoy had laughingly pushed Neville at Aradhel while telling him to become a real man, leaving Longbottom lying on the floor in a drunken heap. The git should never had taken that glass of Fire Whiskey to chug at one of the twin's insistence. He was passed out cold by the time he hit the floor. Mafloy would never let him live it down, either. It was during this break that Severus moved from his chair, heading to the bar where Rosemerta had set up a small buffet for the guests.

A shadow fell across him, bringing him around to find himself facing all seven of Kendra's brothers. None of them looked terribly happy to see him. He made sure to firmly set his scowl in place, folding his arms over his chest in a look of pure boredom. He would hate to disappoint his fans by seeming less than the bastard he was. Aengus came up behind his boys, clapping the one on either side of him on his shoulder. 'Ah, Severus. I'd like ye ta meet m' boys. Starting on that end and workin' to this end. This is Dylan, Dermot, Ian, Niall, Alaric, Brendan, and Sloane. Boys, Professor Severus Snape. Yer sister's betrothed.'

'We ken who he is, Da,' Ian said, his voice low with his anger.

'Yes, Aengus. Surely you haven't forgotten that I've had the priviledge of teaching each one of your offspring. If my memory is not faulty, I believe that Alaric gave me a warning on his last day of school. He told me that he would personally pound me into nothing should I harm his sister in anyway. Does that include getting her pregnant?' he questioned, lifting a mocking brow.

He held back the smile of satisfaction that itched to spread his lips at the sight of seven faces going red with anger. Apparently the threat did include getting her pregnant. 'You sodding bastard! I should hex you with!...' Brendan growled. His brothers put their hands on him as he lunged forward. Severus' wand was at the ready, a curse burning the tip of his tongue. Aengus looked at his boys in disgust.

'Ye'll no' harm him. Should he do anything wrong, tis fer yer sister tae punish him. No' ye. And, just so you ken it, Kendra is in love wi' him,' Aengus explained. The boys all looked to their father in wonder. ' Aye, she loves him fer whatever reason. Should any of ye do him harm, ye'll have tae deal with her wrath. And I dinna think any of ye would wanting to be doing that!'

'No bloody way! The last time I made Ken mad, she cursed me with painful boils. I couldna do aught but sit and moan fer an entire week!' Sloane recalled with a groan. It was starting to look as if Kendra had always been good at cursing those who had upset her. It made him remind his brain never to push her that far. By the looks on the other six men's faces, she'd cursed the lot of them at one time or another. Severus felt a surge of pride for his soon to be wife.

Before the MacLeod brothers could foist off any more threats on his shoulders, their attention was drawn by a heated arguement from the other side of the room. They all looked, finding that Malfoy and Ron Weasley were fighting over the Elf. Literally. Each one had one of her arms in his, both trying to pull her into his own grasp. She was trying to pull away. Both men were speaking to her as if she understood them. Which she did. But she was acting as if she didn't. So she could spy. He decided to go over and break it up, seeing as how Dumbledore was sitting at a table, slowly getting pissed.

'Gentlemen, what seems to be the problem here?' he asked, noticing the look of gratitude from Aradhel. Both young men looked up at him.

' I think she was trying to tell me that she finds me irresistable and wants to go to bed with me now!' Malfoy slurred, already near three sheets to the wind. The boy had no head for Ogden's Old Fire Whiskey. He tugged again, pulling the girl and Weasley off balance.

'No, she doesn't, you prat! She wants me!' Ron insisted. He wasn't drunk. It seemed he was merely delusional.

'Miss Oronar? You have a perference of one of these men?' he asked, using his flawless Elvish once again. The blood colored eyes went from one man to the other, then she shook her head. Switching back to English, Snape hissed at both of them. 'You may release our guest now, gentlemen. She wishes to be alone.'

'Bugger!' Ron sighed and let go of the golden arm he held. Malfoy glared at Snape a moment, then let go of her other arm. He glared at both of them until they wandered off, then looked to the woman in front of him.

'You are alright?' he asked courteously.

'Yes, thank you,' she nodded, offering up a tenative smile. He was silently applauding her, as she was a damn fine actress. He had to speak to Kendra about this one. He'd never come across someone who could cast such a spell. Not only looks, but speech as well. It was brilliant. 'I appreciate your help. Is there something I can do to repay you?'

He knew exactly what she was asking. He had to wonder for a moment if Kendra had asked her to do this, or if it was her own idea. Which ever it was, it wouldn't work. He smiled, actually smiled, as a thought occured to him. 'Yes, actually. There is. You see that young man that Madam Rosemerta is feeding a Sobering Potion to?' he gestured to Neville, who was being held up by Hagrid while the bar keep coaxed the potion down his throat.

'Yes,' she nodded.

'You may consider me repaid in full if you will go over there and give him a kiss. In front of his peers,' Severus told her. laughing gleefully on the inside at his deviousness. This was not what was supposed to happen. He knew it was completely unexpected. Not that he wished to be kind to Neville in any way. Longbottom had been a thorn in his side for too many years. But he found that he was having fun......yes, that was what it was, at the idea that he knew who the dancer truly was, and he was able to use it to his advantage. He wished now that he had a camera, so he'd be able to preserve the looks on the faces of his former students.

'You would like for me to go kiss that boy?' she asked uncertainly. He merely nodded, holding back his grin. She looked to where Neville sat with Rosemerta and Hagrid, studying the scene before her. After a few moments, she gave a faint nod of agreement, then moved toward the trio. All eyes were riveted to her as she moved. Every one of the men present that had his eye on her was experiencing a hard rush of lust. It was a trait unique to the Elven race, the ability to make one lust after them. Man or woman. Severus was terribly impressed that the spell had managed to capture this ability and transfer it to a human.

'Mr. Longbottom,' Snape's voice carried over the assembled group easily, silky smooth. Full of mischief. Neville looked to his former teacher, apprehension written all over his face. One pale hand gestured to Aradhel as she moved ever nearer. 'Miss Oronar would like to give you something. It is a great honor she bestows upon you, Longbottom. Do not make her regret her decision.'

He watched with satsifaction as Neville's face went pale. The woman's footsteps slowed. He was certain she was wondering why he was doing this. Then her spine stiffened, and she took the boy's hand. He stared at her in wide eyed shock. Severus was certain that the spell was controlling all aspects of the woman's actions. From her looks and movements to something as simple as a kiss. Except, a kiss was not a simple thing to the Elven peoples. It was something they did with great enthusiasm. And if he was correct in his assessment, this Elf would be no different than any other.

Aradhel stared at the young man for a few moments, then slipped her cool hands over his skin to cup his cheeks. His eyes flew wide a moment before her lips settled over his, a strangled noise slipping from his throat as she pressed against him. Severus watched her mouth open over his, their heads tilting in opposite directions to allow the kiss to deepen. He hid the smirk he wanted to show. He was seldom wrong. He had to see the spell Kendra had cast.

Several moments passed before Aradhel forced herself away from the stunned looking young man she was clutching. Her look was really similar in appearance. She flashed a look toward where Severus stood, but he was wearing his eternally bored look, so she couldn't see the triumph he felt. She was going to kill Kendra when she got her own form back. He was certain trying to suck Neville Longbottom's tonsils out had not been on her list of things to do.

The scattered men gave off a loud cheer, Ron and Harry clapping their friend on the back heartily in congratulations. Malfoy was looking dejected, as if he believed he should have been the recipient of the gift Aradhel had given. Dumbledore, working on his fourth glass of Fire Whisky, was watching the proceedings with amusement making his eyes twinkle like Christmas lights. Hagrid sat in the corner, a small barrel of ale grasped in one giant hand. Flitwick was barely visible over the table top. Severus took his seat once again. Maybe this wouldn't be such a bad evening after all.

'Erm, Professor Dumbledore?' George Weasley stood up, staring at the older man. Albus gave him his undivided attention. 'Fred and I brought some of our own entertainment. Would you mind terribly if we set it up?'

' I see no problem with it. But you might care to ask the man of the hour if he would have any problems with it,' Dumbledore said, sounding not at all that drunk. The old fox was like that. He could drink like a fish all night, no one the wiser to his inebriation. But Snape had spent many years around him. He could tell.

'And who is the man of the hour, Professor?' Weasley asked. Severus nearly choked on his sip of brandy. He hadn't been told who the party was for? Had anyone? Glancing from one face to the other, he could see that they hadn't. Each one wore a look of confusion. Oh, this was going to be bloody good!

'Professor Snape,' Dumbledore said with a grin. All eyes turned to him. Each one of the looks he received was the exact same. Shocked disbelief. Finally, the silence was broken as Malfoy started laughing. None of them was of a mind to see the truth of Albus' words. Snape frowned, waiting for the laughter to subside.

' I see nothing funny about my impending nuptuals, gentlemen,' he hissed, some of the pleasure he'd felt from his antics melting away in the light of the reaction of the others. The dropping of jaws sounded in a completely silent room. They know knew he was serious. ' I will be marrying tomorrow. You can rest assured you'll not be required to attend.'

'Who in their right mind would marry you?' Neville had to have been drinking again. He asked the question with a complete lack of fear in his voice. Snape sneered at him. Oh, if only he could use a hex. One Forbidden. He wouldn't have to suffer through this at all.

'Not that it's any of your business, but Kendra MacLeod is my intended,' he snapped. Rosemerta appeared at his elbow with the bottle of brandy in her hand. She filled his snifter wordlessly, then went back to her bar. 'Now, Mr. Weasley. I suppose you may set up this entertainment, if you feel you must. If it will get everyone's mind off my future, I'm all bloody for it!'

'Right then,' George looked to his twin. 'Come on, Fred. Let's get it set up.' A small square parcel was removed from George's pocket. He set it on the ground, then pulled his wand and mumbled the spell that would return it to it's normal size. A black box was sitting at the twin's feet. They went about charming it until the light that showed it was on blazed green. It had a blue screen, glowing in the dim interior. The entire lot of them looked at it, not an ounce of recognition on any of their faces. The twins grinned devilishly.

'What is that?' Ron demanded.

'That, little brother, is what the Muggles call a karioke machine,' Fred explained, his hand resting on the top of the machine.

'What's it do?' Malfoy looked as confused as the rest of them.

'You put in a song and sing to it. The words appear on the screen so you know what to sing next. We hear it's all the rage,' George told them. He pushed a button, bringing loud music from the box. White words began scrolling across the blue screen. George held up something, then began singing along with the song. Severus groaned.

'Merlin save me from this hell,' he muttered.

Each one of the twins took a turn at the infernal machine for two songs each. Then they shoved the mic, as they called it, into Potter's hands. They demanded he gift them with his musical talents. Severus wished he was dead by the time the boy had put down the mic. It was Neville's turn next, followed by Malfoy. Severus was to the point of desperation when Aengus stumbled up to the spot where the machine was being kept. He scooped up the mic, belting out a tune that was barely recognizable at the top of his lungs.

It took ten minutes for the MacLeod boys to get their father away from the blasted machine. Severus was about to put a stop to the nonsense when he saw Flitwick get up and dart toward it. In a high pitched, squeaky little voice, Flitwcik sang out the words to a song that sounded as if it were nothing more than violent noise rubbing against cut glass. 'Heavy metal,' one of the twins informed them, as if that explained it all.

When he saw Dumbledore get up, making his way to the machine from the lowest bowels of hell, Severus buried his head in his hands. This was far more than he had bargained for. The twins should be cursed with something that worked slowly. Painfully. It was the very least that they deserved for unleashing this cacophony of musical nightmares on the world. The first notes out of Dumbledore's mouth were strident, speaking of too much whisky. Snape frowned. They'd never get Albus away from the thing now.

As Snape sat there, drowning in the words of the song the Headmaster crooned out in a less than perfect voice, a golden hand slipped over his shoulder. He looked up into the red eyes of Aradhel. She gave him a soft smile, moving to stand before him. 'You look upset,' she commented, the Elven tongue a soothing balm compared to what was currently being described as entertainment. 'Perhaps I can find some way to take the frown away?'

'You have something in mind, I take it?' he asked, wondering what ploy the woman had come up with now. She didn't answer. Not in words, at least. For a reply, she merely sat upon his lap. Then her hips were shifting in a totally obscene manner. He was stunned for a moment, then very nearly pushed her from his lap. He wondered what would happen if he allowed her to stay there. He could well imagine the look Kendra would have on her face, were she to see this. For some reason, he didn't want to see that look at all. He gently put the woman from his lap.

'You do not want me?' she asked him, her eyes wide with wonder.

'No, thank you. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm terribly happy with the woman I'm wedding tomorrow,' he informed her coolly.

'She is not here tonight,' Aradhel insisted.

'Perhaps she isn't. And perhaps she is,' he returned, then stood up. 'You would be better off turning your attention to one of the other men. They would be happy for your advances. As it is, I'm content to wait until tomorrow afternoon, when I will be able to sleep with my wife.'

'Professor Snape, where're ya going?' Hagrid asked from his corner, seeing the dark man making his way toward the exit. All noise stopped, including Dumbledore's butchered attempt at singing. Every eye in the pub turned toward him.

' I'm returning to my dungeons. I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow, and I believe I would like some time to myself. I have to thank all of you for an evening I shall never forget. No matter how long or hard I try. But do go ahead and carry on without me,' he informed all of them. He was almost to the door when he stopped to give the Elf one of his piercing black gazes. 'And my congratulations to you, Miss von Haifisch. That is an excellent disguise. If I wasn't well versed in all the Elven tongues, I would have never known Kendra had sent a spy. I will, of course, make sure she is aware of how fine a job she did in your transformation.'

The blood red eyes went wide with shock, her gaze going from the pale face of the Potions Master to the pale face of Draco Malfoy. He was staring at her with ill disguised unhappiness. Severus saw the looks, enjoying them imensely. It was indeed wonderful payback for the entire evening. The two of them were undoubtably thinking about the rather heated kiss she'd shared with Longbottom. A faint smile flickered across his face as he stepped from the pub.

The night air was cold, promising more snow. He paid it no mind, though. He merely walked, allowing his feet to take him where they would. When he stopped, he found himself in front of Kendra's cottage. The lights were still blazing, telling him she was waiting for Illiana to return. He wanted nothing more than to go inside and take her to bed. He would wait, though. She would have her talk with the spy. One more night wouldn't matter. After tomorrow, she was completely, totally his. He turned away, walking back the way he'd come, toward the castle. Toward his dungeons.

It was good to be a bastard.......

end chapter twenty four.
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