If The Crime Fits The Punishment - Chapter Twelve
Title: If The Crime Fits the Punishment
Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: no one under 18. this is grown up business. meaning lots of dirty words and sexual escapades.
Warnings: sex, some mild violence, gratuitous use of a Scottish brogue, lots of swearing and a cat that's plotting world domination. no, really!
Disclaimer: i don't own any of the recognizable characters in here. nor do i own places and events and the whole magical realm. everything belongs to J.K. Rowling. she is the genius and i merely bask in the glow of her talent. Kendra is mine, as is Wickersham. and the plot, such as it is. please don't hurt me or sue me or make disparaging comments about me or anything like that. i'm broke, i like pain and i've got a really wicked temper, which means i'll probably be mean back. you have been warned.
Author's Note: this was the only fic i used a beta on. with exception of Gin's work on Beyond Death, i think i do pretty okay on my own. and, as i wasn't savvy with HTML when i wrote this, all thoughts were denoted by the use of tildes ~...~
If The Crime Fits The Punishment - The Index
Chapter Twelve: Unexpected Visits
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The knock at the flat's door startled Kendra out of her daydream. She had, of course, been thinking of Severus. He seemed to have the market cornered on her waking thoughts. And her dreams, as well. It was disturbing, because she had a terrible time trying to sort through her feelings and emotions with images of him flashing through her head at any given moment of the day. The knock came again, more insistent this time. She sighed and stood up from her now favored spot on the couch.
Once she had returned home, Kendra had found she couldn't bear to lay in her bed, much less sleep in it. So she had made herself a nest on her sofa, sleeping there whenever the mood took her, curled up on the robes she had brought back with her. So she could, in some way, be close to him. It was a sad and pathetic way for her to exist, but she didn't care much. Nobody was there to see her falling apart, so it just didn't bloody matter. She trudged to the door, twisted the knob, and swung the panel wide. 'Professor McGonagall? Is that you?'
'Yes, Miss MacLeod. It is. May I come in?' the elderly woman asked. Kendra stared for a moment longer before stepping back to allow her former Transfigurations Professor in to her small, very Muggle apartment. McGonagall strolled through the door way, her sharp gaze going over everything as she made her way to the small group of living room furniture. She stood by a chair for a moment, her eyes coming to rest on the young woman still standing in the open doorway. With a singular gesture of her head, the girl shut the door and came over to where Minerva stood.
' I'm sorry to be so rude, Professor. I'm shocked to see you here,' Kendra admitted sheepishly. She gestured to one of the chairs. 'Please make yourself at home. Can I get you anything?'
'No, Miss MacLeod. Sit down. I've only come to pay a visit. When I last owled your mother, I told her I'd be in London. She mentioned that you live here, and asked if I would come look in on you. She worries about you, all alone in the big city,' McGonagall told her. She watched the younger woman sit down on the sofa behind her. A nest of black was spread beneath the girl's bottom, and she immediately recognized it for what it was.
'Mum worries over much, I think. She never worried about me at home when I ran about the ancestral castle like a wild child. Never mind I nearly tumbled over the walls more than once. No, she worries about me here in London,' a faint smile crossed the pale features, before it was swallowed up by the hollow eyed look that had been there when she answered the door.
'Your mother mentioned that you hadn't decided what you intended to do yet. Surely you've thought of something. You're a year out of school already. Perhaps you'd like to go to University? I could write you a letter of recommendation. I seem to recall you were constantly giving Hermione fits because of your grades. Any school would be glad to have you. I'm quite certain you'd make an excellent Auror....'
'No disrespect, Professor,' Kendra interrupted the little speech. She wasn't ready to see people yet. She hadn't stepped foot out of the flat in over two weeks, and she was perfectly content to leave things as they were for the time being. She looked the other woman over and decided that McGonagall went out among the Muggle populace more than the other Professors. She wore a long skirt in forest green velvet, a long sleeved ladies shirt in emerald green, and a pair of black heels that looked..... well, witchish. 'But why are you here?'
'I told you, I wanted to stop in and see how you were. You know your mother and I are good friends. And I took special interest in you when you were in my House. I was always concerned because you were such a quiet girl. It seems as if nothing has changed.'
'I'm prefectly well, Professor. I appreciate that you would look out for me for my mother, but I'm really fine. I'm still trying to decide what I would like to do with my life. If I choose to go on to University, I would be happy to take a letter of recommendation from you. For the time being, I've not been feeling well and would like....'
'Of course, Miss MacLeod.... Kendra,' McGonagall stood up, a look of understanding on her face. 'I'm sorry to have disturbed you. But, should you need anything, you can owl me. No matter the problem. I would be most happy to offer my assistance.'
'Thank you, Professor,' Kendra nodded. She escorted the other woman to the door, completely missing the look of concern on Minerva's face. When she was alone once more, she took up her favorite position on the couch and buried her nose in the black robes beneath her. She could still smell his scent. Barely, but it was there.
~*~*~*~*~
Albus looked around the interior of the dungeon chambers, his nose wrinkling in distaste. In all the years he'd known Severus Snape, he'd never seen the man as slovenly as he was at present. Dirtied garments were scattered across the floor of the small living area, along with papers and books. There were even an assortment of emptied bottles laying here and there. Not that it wouldn't be obvious that Severus was drunk if the bottles hadn't been on the floor.
The man in question was sprawled on his couch, laying on his stomach. His face was turned out, covered by a web of black hair. Said hair was now as greasy as it had long been described. The robes he wore looked to be over a week past needing to go to the laundry. It was plain to see that something was troubling the young man. It had been left to Dumbledore to come sort everything out.
Severus hadn't been seen above the dungeons in over a fortnight, and it was troubling the staff. From the image of a man who looked terribly happy to a drunkard. Some days, it truly pained him to be Headmaster. But he was, so it was his duty to see to the welfare of his teachers. 'Severus,' Albus shook the other man's shoulder.
'Bloody hell...... leave..... can't..... fucking pissed.....' came out of the Potions Master's mouth. A jumble of drunken words that obviously meant something to someone else. In another universe. Albus sighed heavily and shook him again. 'What do you fucking want?'
'Severus, you're in need of shower and a hangover potion. Get up! You take care of your personal hygiene, and I'll go concoct the draught for you,' Dumbledore said in the tone of voice he used on the first years. The dark head lifted, and Severus managed to shoot him a look through a bloodshot eye.
'Headmaster?' Snape asked, groaning as his head began pounding. It served him right for downing the entire bottle of Ogden's Old Firewhisky. What was the matter with him? He'd never seen a need to get totally pissed before. ~That was before you tossed her out, you lout!~ his brain reminded him painfully. The throb didn't lessen and he put his face back in the leather of the sofa. He was in no mood to face his snotty brain at the moment.
'Yes, Severus. It's me,' Albus agreed softly in deference to the man's wooly head. 'Why don't you get up and take a shower. I'll go into the lab and prepare a hangover draught for you.' The lad mumbled something into the leather of his couch, then slowly pulled himself off the piece of furniture to make his way to the bathroom. It was some half an hour later that Snape looked a little less worse for wear. He was once again clean, and the smell of stale alcohol had been washed away. The hangover potion was working it's magic on his head. Other than the pinched scowl he wore, he almost looked human again. 'Now, would you care to tell me why you've suddenly developed a taste for anything that will render you unconscious for a week?'
'It's nothing, sir. I've had a truly horrid week. An event that won't repeat itself,' Severus assured his boss.
'You're certain? Is there something you'd like to tell me, perhaps?' Dumbledore inquired, his tone serious. He studied the younger man over the rim of his glasses, waiting for an answer. Severus seemed to weigh the question at length before finally answering.
'No, sir. There's nothing,' he shook his head.
'Alright, then,' Dumbledore stood up, moving for the door. 'Should you need to talk Severus, my door is always open.'
'Thank you, Headmaster,' Snape said quietly. The old man shut the door behind him as he exited, leaving Severus alone with his thoughts. This was getting out of hand. He'd finished off every bottle of liquor he had in his rooms in an attempt to wipe the memory of Kendra MacLeod from his mind. She stubbornly refused to go. He could feel her finger nails clawing into his brain, preventing her memories from running out to join Malfoy in bed with the rest of her.
He couldn't understand why the memory of her clung to him so tightly. His dreams were filled with their interludes, remembrances of shared passion and clinging desire. She had really given herself to him. As much of her as he could have ever wanted, she had given. Something told him that there was more to her than that, more that she could give him. If she chose to. But why would she? Wouldn't that mean she felt something for him? How could she ever feel anything for a man like him? And did he feel something for her? Something other than simple lust? He'd thought that was all it was when she was in his bed, but now he wasn't so sure. What had a simple girl done to him?
All the questions were making his head pound again. He needed to consider leaving alcohol alone for a while. At least until he could think everything out rationally, without the annoying pain in his chest bothering him. He still had not come up with a name for what ever was ailing him, but it hadn't been there before Kendra. Maybe he had developed deeper feelings for her than he had originally thought.
~No shit, Sherlock!~ his brain hollered at him. It sounded terribly happy that he'd admitted such a thing. He decided he would, for the time being, ignore his brain and concentrate on less painful things. Like learning how to sit up straight again. He could deal with the more difficult problems at a later date. When his brain wasn't being such a ruddy pain in the arse.
~*~*~*~*~
A knock on the front door startled Kendra out of her cloud of memory. It had been nearly a month since Severus had pushed her out of his chambers and his life. She hadn't heard from him, not that she expected to. He'd made it quite clear that he was through with her. Still, she couldn't help the small surge of hope that rose up at the sound of a fist hitting the door to her flat. Quickly, and rather ruthlessly, she squashed it down. It wasn't him at her door. And he would never knock, even if he did come to her. He'd just enter the room as he thought was his right.
Ruthless. He'd taught her that. With his callous treatment and overbearing attitude, she'd had to do whatever it took to stay sane. Even if it meant losing some part of herself that had been simple and naive. He'd taken more than one form of her innocence. When it had come down to it being her sense of well being or staying with him, she'd known that she had to leave. The cold look on his face, after a few brief and rare smiles, had ripped her heart out. And she now knew that everything she'd been feeling meant she'd fallen head over heels in love with the bastard.
The thought made her want to cry her eyes out. No! She would not shed another tear over the miserable git. She didn't need him! She could survive on her own. She was not going to cry again. She..... Oh, who was she kidding? She was going to cry again. There was nothing, no one that could stop her. 'Kendra, love? I ken you're in there. I can hear you holding your breath!'
Ye flipping gods! It was her mother. That stopped her tears. No need for Morgaine MacLeod to see her daughter bawling over a man like a wee bairn. Kendra dashed the moisture from her eyes, getting up off the sofa. She swung the door open, attempting a carefree look. 'Mum!'
'Ye look terrible, lass. What's his name and where can I find him?' Morgaine asked after looking her child over for all of ten seconds. Obviously, the carefree look had failed miserably. Mother stepped into the flat and pulled daughter into her embrace, hugging her tightly.
' I'm okay, Mum,' Kendra protested, even though she could feel the tears welling up again.
'No, you're not. Let me pour you a cup of tea and you can tell me all about it,' Morgaine replied in the dictatorial tone of voice that told Kendra her mother wouldn't let up until she had every last detail. And, after her mother had produced a tray of Darjeeling tea with her wand, Kendra found that she really did want to tell her all about it. The tea cup held forgotten in her hand, the girl launched into her story, telling her mother nearly all except for names.
~*~*~*~*~
'You were right to contact me, Minerva,' Morgaine MacLeod proclaimed as she swept into her long time friend's private sitting room. The other woman looked up from her book and smiled faintly. 'The girl is in horrid shape! I found her sitting alone, crying and pretending nothing was wrong. I swear there was no food in that little flat of hers.'
' I was afraid of that,' McGonagall sighed heavily. ' I tried sending her owls, but the letters all came back unopened. I sent several friends around to try and check up on her. She wouldn't let them in. She's not coping as I thought she would. My hopes were that she would fight for what she wanted. I never thought she would give up so easily.'
'She said he told her he never wanted to see her again. I think she took his words to heart,' Morgaine sighed, remembering the lost look on her daughter's face at the end of her tale. The girl was completely in love with the man from her story. Morgaine was determined that she would see her daughter happy, or the man responsible dead. Whatever it took. 'She's decided she wants to get away.'
'She told you what happened?'
'Oh, aye! I want to meet this....person!' the anger bubbled to the surface, making the concerned parent's brogue very prominent. McGonagall smiled. No one was immune to Morgaine MacLeod's sharp tongue. And that meant no one.
' I'll send for him at once,' Minerva stood up.
'You know him?' Morgaine sounded surprised.
'Oh yes. He's a Professor here at the school.'
'Bugger that! You can bloody well take me to him.'
~*~*~*~*~
'You needed something?' Severus asked as the door to the Potions Lab swung shut. He turned, his customary scowl in place, hiding his thoughts from the world. His black gaze swept the room, landing briefly on McGonagall before it took in the other woman present. She faced him squarely, glaring at him as if she knew him. And, while there was something vaguely familiar about her, he was quite certain he'd never seen her before.
'Yes, Severus,' McGonagall nodded. She had a smirk on her face that made him feel uneasy. ' I do.'
' I'm very busy at present. If we could make this quick.....' he sighed in a tired voice. He was still not quite ready to deal with people. All he wanted to do was take someone's head off, and McGonagall and her mystery guest were not the best candidates. It would mean nothing but trouble.
' I'd like for you to meet Morgaine MacLeod, Severus,' McGonagall made the introductions, completely ignoring his last statement. 'Morgaine, Professor Severus Snape.'
Severus started at the introduction. There was only one reason anyone named MacLeod would be wishing to see him. Merlin's hairy toes, he was face to face with Kendra's mother. The gods had to be laughing at him. The last thing in the world that he needed was a self-righteous mother trying to make him feel terrible about what he'd done. Never mind that her daughter had been the one to start the whole bloody mess. Better the busy body should be taking the girl to task for her role in the affair.
'Snape?' the MacLeod woman's eyes turned to the Deputy Headmistress in disbelief. 'You mean the greasy git that made her life hell while she was a student here?'
'The very same greasy git, Madam,' Severus snarled. He was in no mood for this. The woman had no right to come into his Labs and start insulting him. He'd never met her before, and she certainly didn't know everything that had gone on between Kendra and himself. 'If you have something to say to me, I suggest you get it out and then leave. I'm a terribly busy man.'
'Too busy? I see. But I'm unsure as to whether or not you're a man. A bloody prick, yes. But not a man. Are you too busy to care that you have broken my daughter? Too busy to admit that you have made a huge mistake? The biggest one of your life!' Morgaine raged at him. 'You had to ruin her school years! Now you've ruined her life after graduation!'
Snape opened his mouth to make a comment, but she continued on, barrelling over him as if he were a spot of dough that needed flattening. He couldn't believe that she would dare attack him without proper knowledge of the entire story. 'Madam, if you don't mind, I think.....'
'Yes, I do mind! I have yet to see evidence that you have a brain and ken how to use it. You've been standing there like a fish, mouth gaping open. I mind very much that you've hurt my darling Kendra, you hateful old man! I mind terribly that you've taken the life right out of her!' the woman spat at him visciously. After a brief pause, in which all was totally silent, she went on. 'Well, you've been insisting you get to talk! What have you got to say for yourself? I doubt you can manage to come up with anything that would ever exonerate you of this heinous deed.'
'Did it ever occur to you, Madam, that your darling Kendra was as much at fault for being broken as I? Would it interest you to know that the girl you have set upon a pedestal kidnapped me, intent on torturing me for all the wrongs she believed I did her in school?' Severus let the words fall from his lips, uncaring if he hurt the woman before him. He was not going to be the only villian in this tale. He was guilty yes, but not the only one. 'She seduced me as much as I seduced her. When she got tired of me, she decided she would rather be with someone else than here with me! Did she tell you that? Did she tell you she threw this other person in my face? That she'd rather be in his arms than mine?'
His voice was getting strident, his anger over riding his common sense. He was allowing the bitterness he felt about her choosing Lucius over him get in the way. He didn't care, though. He wanted Morgaine MacLeod to realize what kind of woman her daughter was. He wanted the both of them to hurt, the way he did.
' Is that so? Then explain to me why my daughter is sitting in her flat in London, crying her eyes out, if she's so desperate to be with this other man? You might find it interesting to know that Kendra told me everything that happened,' Morgaine informed him. One black eyebrow popped up, telling her he found it hard to believe. 'Aye, she did. She told me about the little dungeon she has, about your using the Veritaserum on her. About the desk, and the two men, and the blue potion, and just about every other bloody thing she could. The only thing she didn't tell me was your name! And now I see why. She'd never admit it to me, but she fell in love with you. Stupid child, seeing as you're such a bastard. Why would she admit to me that she fell in love with a man who couldn't possibly love her back?'
He opened his mouth to reply, but no sound came out. He suspected he looked exactly like the fish she'd called him a few moments ago, his jaw working soundlessly. His brain had seized on one small point. She loved him. Kendra loved him? It couldn't be. Her mother must be mistaken. He scowled at her, closing his mouth and pressing it into a thin line. His voice came out very low. ' I believe you must be mistaken, Madam. I know what that ungrateful little bitch told me. She was running to someone else's arms. If she loved me, she'd have stayed here.'
'Stay here to be your pet? You've got to be daft, man! I heard all about how you treated her.Would you have stayed if she treated you like an object? You never once called her by her name! She felt as if you only saw her as something to be owned, to be possessed. You should be ashamed of yourself. Kendra is a proud lass. She'll not come crawling back to you, because she believes you dinna care for her!' Morgaine shouted at the thick headed lout. Some men just never got it, unless you beat them about the head with a lead pipe.
'Well of course I bloody well care for her! I.....' his words faltered as the truth stood up and smacked him dead on in the face. His brain was dancing about in his head happily. ~It's about time, you stupid prat!~ it sang joyously at him. The giddiness of his mind was replaced by anger. She left him because she thought he treated her poorly? He'd been bloody good to her! He'd never once beaten her, no matter that she deserved it. She'd had food and drink, a place to sleep. She'd spent her time with nary a care. Hell, she'd even worn more of his clothes than he had. Treated poorly, indeed! 'It would seem that she and I have some things to discuss. Tell me where I can find her.'
' It's too late, lad,' Morgaine laughed, although it wasn't a very happy sound. His hand curled into a fist. Too late? Why? 'She should be leaving for her extended holiday. Her Da and I set some money aside for it when she graduated. She's decided to use it now. When I left her flat, she was packing.'
'You will tell me where I can find her,' Severus ordered angrily. He would not let her slip through his hands again. Not if he still had a chance.....
end chapter twelve.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
wanna catch up on all my stuff? check this link out. its got everything! The Ultimate ldf Fic Index
Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: no one under 18. this is grown up business. meaning lots of dirty words and sexual escapades.
Warnings: sex, some mild violence, gratuitous use of a Scottish brogue, lots of swearing and a cat that's plotting world domination. no, really!
Disclaimer: i don't own any of the recognizable characters in here. nor do i own places and events and the whole magical realm. everything belongs to J.K. Rowling. she is the genius and i merely bask in the glow of her talent. Kendra is mine, as is Wickersham. and the plot, such as it is. please don't hurt me or sue me or make disparaging comments about me or anything like that. i'm broke, i like pain and i've got a really wicked temper, which means i'll probably be mean back. you have been warned.
Author's Note: this was the only fic i used a beta on. with exception of Gin's work on Beyond Death, i think i do pretty okay on my own. and, as i wasn't savvy with HTML when i wrote this, all thoughts were denoted by the use of tildes ~...~
If The Crime Fits The Punishment - The Index
Chapter Twelve: Unexpected Visits
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The knock at the flat's door startled Kendra out of her daydream. She had, of course, been thinking of Severus. He seemed to have the market cornered on her waking thoughts. And her dreams, as well. It was disturbing, because she had a terrible time trying to sort through her feelings and emotions with images of him flashing through her head at any given moment of the day. The knock came again, more insistent this time. She sighed and stood up from her now favored spot on the couch.
Once she had returned home, Kendra had found she couldn't bear to lay in her bed, much less sleep in it. So she had made herself a nest on her sofa, sleeping there whenever the mood took her, curled up on the robes she had brought back with her. So she could, in some way, be close to him. It was a sad and pathetic way for her to exist, but she didn't care much. Nobody was there to see her falling apart, so it just didn't bloody matter. She trudged to the door, twisted the knob, and swung the panel wide. 'Professor McGonagall? Is that you?'
'Yes, Miss MacLeod. It is. May I come in?' the elderly woman asked. Kendra stared for a moment longer before stepping back to allow her former Transfigurations Professor in to her small, very Muggle apartment. McGonagall strolled through the door way, her sharp gaze going over everything as she made her way to the small group of living room furniture. She stood by a chair for a moment, her eyes coming to rest on the young woman still standing in the open doorway. With a singular gesture of her head, the girl shut the door and came over to where Minerva stood.
' I'm sorry to be so rude, Professor. I'm shocked to see you here,' Kendra admitted sheepishly. She gestured to one of the chairs. 'Please make yourself at home. Can I get you anything?'
'No, Miss MacLeod. Sit down. I've only come to pay a visit. When I last owled your mother, I told her I'd be in London. She mentioned that you live here, and asked if I would come look in on you. She worries about you, all alone in the big city,' McGonagall told her. She watched the younger woman sit down on the sofa behind her. A nest of black was spread beneath the girl's bottom, and she immediately recognized it for what it was.
'Mum worries over much, I think. She never worried about me at home when I ran about the ancestral castle like a wild child. Never mind I nearly tumbled over the walls more than once. No, she worries about me here in London,' a faint smile crossed the pale features, before it was swallowed up by the hollow eyed look that had been there when she answered the door.
'Your mother mentioned that you hadn't decided what you intended to do yet. Surely you've thought of something. You're a year out of school already. Perhaps you'd like to go to University? I could write you a letter of recommendation. I seem to recall you were constantly giving Hermione fits because of your grades. Any school would be glad to have you. I'm quite certain you'd make an excellent Auror....'
'No disrespect, Professor,' Kendra interrupted the little speech. She wasn't ready to see people yet. She hadn't stepped foot out of the flat in over two weeks, and she was perfectly content to leave things as they were for the time being. She looked the other woman over and decided that McGonagall went out among the Muggle populace more than the other Professors. She wore a long skirt in forest green velvet, a long sleeved ladies shirt in emerald green, and a pair of black heels that looked..... well, witchish. 'But why are you here?'
'I told you, I wanted to stop in and see how you were. You know your mother and I are good friends. And I took special interest in you when you were in my House. I was always concerned because you were such a quiet girl. It seems as if nothing has changed.'
'I'm prefectly well, Professor. I appreciate that you would look out for me for my mother, but I'm really fine. I'm still trying to decide what I would like to do with my life. If I choose to go on to University, I would be happy to take a letter of recommendation from you. For the time being, I've not been feeling well and would like....'
'Of course, Miss MacLeod.... Kendra,' McGonagall stood up, a look of understanding on her face. 'I'm sorry to have disturbed you. But, should you need anything, you can owl me. No matter the problem. I would be most happy to offer my assistance.'
'Thank you, Professor,' Kendra nodded. She escorted the other woman to the door, completely missing the look of concern on Minerva's face. When she was alone once more, she took up her favorite position on the couch and buried her nose in the black robes beneath her. She could still smell his scent. Barely, but it was there.
~*~*~*~*~
Albus looked around the interior of the dungeon chambers, his nose wrinkling in distaste. In all the years he'd known Severus Snape, he'd never seen the man as slovenly as he was at present. Dirtied garments were scattered across the floor of the small living area, along with papers and books. There were even an assortment of emptied bottles laying here and there. Not that it wouldn't be obvious that Severus was drunk if the bottles hadn't been on the floor.
The man in question was sprawled on his couch, laying on his stomach. His face was turned out, covered by a web of black hair. Said hair was now as greasy as it had long been described. The robes he wore looked to be over a week past needing to go to the laundry. It was plain to see that something was troubling the young man. It had been left to Dumbledore to come sort everything out.
Severus hadn't been seen above the dungeons in over a fortnight, and it was troubling the staff. From the image of a man who looked terribly happy to a drunkard. Some days, it truly pained him to be Headmaster. But he was, so it was his duty to see to the welfare of his teachers. 'Severus,' Albus shook the other man's shoulder.
'Bloody hell...... leave..... can't..... fucking pissed.....' came out of the Potions Master's mouth. A jumble of drunken words that obviously meant something to someone else. In another universe. Albus sighed heavily and shook him again. 'What do you fucking want?'
'Severus, you're in need of shower and a hangover potion. Get up! You take care of your personal hygiene, and I'll go concoct the draught for you,' Dumbledore said in the tone of voice he used on the first years. The dark head lifted, and Severus managed to shoot him a look through a bloodshot eye.
'Headmaster?' Snape asked, groaning as his head began pounding. It served him right for downing the entire bottle of Ogden's Old Firewhisky. What was the matter with him? He'd never seen a need to get totally pissed before. ~That was before you tossed her out, you lout!~ his brain reminded him painfully. The throb didn't lessen and he put his face back in the leather of the sofa. He was in no mood to face his snotty brain at the moment.
'Yes, Severus. It's me,' Albus agreed softly in deference to the man's wooly head. 'Why don't you get up and take a shower. I'll go into the lab and prepare a hangover draught for you.' The lad mumbled something into the leather of his couch, then slowly pulled himself off the piece of furniture to make his way to the bathroom. It was some half an hour later that Snape looked a little less worse for wear. He was once again clean, and the smell of stale alcohol had been washed away. The hangover potion was working it's magic on his head. Other than the pinched scowl he wore, he almost looked human again. 'Now, would you care to tell me why you've suddenly developed a taste for anything that will render you unconscious for a week?'
'It's nothing, sir. I've had a truly horrid week. An event that won't repeat itself,' Severus assured his boss.
'You're certain? Is there something you'd like to tell me, perhaps?' Dumbledore inquired, his tone serious. He studied the younger man over the rim of his glasses, waiting for an answer. Severus seemed to weigh the question at length before finally answering.
'No, sir. There's nothing,' he shook his head.
'Alright, then,' Dumbledore stood up, moving for the door. 'Should you need to talk Severus, my door is always open.'
'Thank you, Headmaster,' Snape said quietly. The old man shut the door behind him as he exited, leaving Severus alone with his thoughts. This was getting out of hand. He'd finished off every bottle of liquor he had in his rooms in an attempt to wipe the memory of Kendra MacLeod from his mind. She stubbornly refused to go. He could feel her finger nails clawing into his brain, preventing her memories from running out to join Malfoy in bed with the rest of her.
He couldn't understand why the memory of her clung to him so tightly. His dreams were filled with their interludes, remembrances of shared passion and clinging desire. She had really given herself to him. As much of her as he could have ever wanted, she had given. Something told him that there was more to her than that, more that she could give him. If she chose to. But why would she? Wouldn't that mean she felt something for him? How could she ever feel anything for a man like him? And did he feel something for her? Something other than simple lust? He'd thought that was all it was when she was in his bed, but now he wasn't so sure. What had a simple girl done to him?
All the questions were making his head pound again. He needed to consider leaving alcohol alone for a while. At least until he could think everything out rationally, without the annoying pain in his chest bothering him. He still had not come up with a name for what ever was ailing him, but it hadn't been there before Kendra. Maybe he had developed deeper feelings for her than he had originally thought.
~No shit, Sherlock!~ his brain hollered at him. It sounded terribly happy that he'd admitted such a thing. He decided he would, for the time being, ignore his brain and concentrate on less painful things. Like learning how to sit up straight again. He could deal with the more difficult problems at a later date. When his brain wasn't being such a ruddy pain in the arse.
~*~*~*~*~
A knock on the front door startled Kendra out of her cloud of memory. It had been nearly a month since Severus had pushed her out of his chambers and his life. She hadn't heard from him, not that she expected to. He'd made it quite clear that he was through with her. Still, she couldn't help the small surge of hope that rose up at the sound of a fist hitting the door to her flat. Quickly, and rather ruthlessly, she squashed it down. It wasn't him at her door. And he would never knock, even if he did come to her. He'd just enter the room as he thought was his right.
Ruthless. He'd taught her that. With his callous treatment and overbearing attitude, she'd had to do whatever it took to stay sane. Even if it meant losing some part of herself that had been simple and naive. He'd taken more than one form of her innocence. When it had come down to it being her sense of well being or staying with him, she'd known that she had to leave. The cold look on his face, after a few brief and rare smiles, had ripped her heart out. And she now knew that everything she'd been feeling meant she'd fallen head over heels in love with the bastard.
The thought made her want to cry her eyes out. No! She would not shed another tear over the miserable git. She didn't need him! She could survive on her own. She was not going to cry again. She..... Oh, who was she kidding? She was going to cry again. There was nothing, no one that could stop her. 'Kendra, love? I ken you're in there. I can hear you holding your breath!'
Ye flipping gods! It was her mother. That stopped her tears. No need for Morgaine MacLeod to see her daughter bawling over a man like a wee bairn. Kendra dashed the moisture from her eyes, getting up off the sofa. She swung the door open, attempting a carefree look. 'Mum!'
'Ye look terrible, lass. What's his name and where can I find him?' Morgaine asked after looking her child over for all of ten seconds. Obviously, the carefree look had failed miserably. Mother stepped into the flat and pulled daughter into her embrace, hugging her tightly.
' I'm okay, Mum,' Kendra protested, even though she could feel the tears welling up again.
'No, you're not. Let me pour you a cup of tea and you can tell me all about it,' Morgaine replied in the dictatorial tone of voice that told Kendra her mother wouldn't let up until she had every last detail. And, after her mother had produced a tray of Darjeeling tea with her wand, Kendra found that she really did want to tell her all about it. The tea cup held forgotten in her hand, the girl launched into her story, telling her mother nearly all except for names.
~*~*~*~*~
'You were right to contact me, Minerva,' Morgaine MacLeod proclaimed as she swept into her long time friend's private sitting room. The other woman looked up from her book and smiled faintly. 'The girl is in horrid shape! I found her sitting alone, crying and pretending nothing was wrong. I swear there was no food in that little flat of hers.'
' I was afraid of that,' McGonagall sighed heavily. ' I tried sending her owls, but the letters all came back unopened. I sent several friends around to try and check up on her. She wouldn't let them in. She's not coping as I thought she would. My hopes were that she would fight for what she wanted. I never thought she would give up so easily.'
'She said he told her he never wanted to see her again. I think she took his words to heart,' Morgaine sighed, remembering the lost look on her daughter's face at the end of her tale. The girl was completely in love with the man from her story. Morgaine was determined that she would see her daughter happy, or the man responsible dead. Whatever it took. 'She's decided she wants to get away.'
'She told you what happened?'
'Oh, aye! I want to meet this....person!' the anger bubbled to the surface, making the concerned parent's brogue very prominent. McGonagall smiled. No one was immune to Morgaine MacLeod's sharp tongue. And that meant no one.
' I'll send for him at once,' Minerva stood up.
'You know him?' Morgaine sounded surprised.
'Oh yes. He's a Professor here at the school.'
'Bugger that! You can bloody well take me to him.'
~*~*~*~*~
'You needed something?' Severus asked as the door to the Potions Lab swung shut. He turned, his customary scowl in place, hiding his thoughts from the world. His black gaze swept the room, landing briefly on McGonagall before it took in the other woman present. She faced him squarely, glaring at him as if she knew him. And, while there was something vaguely familiar about her, he was quite certain he'd never seen her before.
'Yes, Severus,' McGonagall nodded. She had a smirk on her face that made him feel uneasy. ' I do.'
' I'm very busy at present. If we could make this quick.....' he sighed in a tired voice. He was still not quite ready to deal with people. All he wanted to do was take someone's head off, and McGonagall and her mystery guest were not the best candidates. It would mean nothing but trouble.
' I'd like for you to meet Morgaine MacLeod, Severus,' McGonagall made the introductions, completely ignoring his last statement. 'Morgaine, Professor Severus Snape.'
Severus started at the introduction. There was only one reason anyone named MacLeod would be wishing to see him. Merlin's hairy toes, he was face to face with Kendra's mother. The gods had to be laughing at him. The last thing in the world that he needed was a self-righteous mother trying to make him feel terrible about what he'd done. Never mind that her daughter had been the one to start the whole bloody mess. Better the busy body should be taking the girl to task for her role in the affair.
'Snape?' the MacLeod woman's eyes turned to the Deputy Headmistress in disbelief. 'You mean the greasy git that made her life hell while she was a student here?'
'The very same greasy git, Madam,' Severus snarled. He was in no mood for this. The woman had no right to come into his Labs and start insulting him. He'd never met her before, and she certainly didn't know everything that had gone on between Kendra and himself. 'If you have something to say to me, I suggest you get it out and then leave. I'm a terribly busy man.'
'Too busy? I see. But I'm unsure as to whether or not you're a man. A bloody prick, yes. But not a man. Are you too busy to care that you have broken my daughter? Too busy to admit that you have made a huge mistake? The biggest one of your life!' Morgaine raged at him. 'You had to ruin her school years! Now you've ruined her life after graduation!'
Snape opened his mouth to make a comment, but she continued on, barrelling over him as if he were a spot of dough that needed flattening. He couldn't believe that she would dare attack him without proper knowledge of the entire story. 'Madam, if you don't mind, I think.....'
'Yes, I do mind! I have yet to see evidence that you have a brain and ken how to use it. You've been standing there like a fish, mouth gaping open. I mind very much that you've hurt my darling Kendra, you hateful old man! I mind terribly that you've taken the life right out of her!' the woman spat at him visciously. After a brief pause, in which all was totally silent, she went on. 'Well, you've been insisting you get to talk! What have you got to say for yourself? I doubt you can manage to come up with anything that would ever exonerate you of this heinous deed.'
'Did it ever occur to you, Madam, that your darling Kendra was as much at fault for being broken as I? Would it interest you to know that the girl you have set upon a pedestal kidnapped me, intent on torturing me for all the wrongs she believed I did her in school?' Severus let the words fall from his lips, uncaring if he hurt the woman before him. He was not going to be the only villian in this tale. He was guilty yes, but not the only one. 'She seduced me as much as I seduced her. When she got tired of me, she decided she would rather be with someone else than here with me! Did she tell you that? Did she tell you she threw this other person in my face? That she'd rather be in his arms than mine?'
His voice was getting strident, his anger over riding his common sense. He was allowing the bitterness he felt about her choosing Lucius over him get in the way. He didn't care, though. He wanted Morgaine MacLeod to realize what kind of woman her daughter was. He wanted the both of them to hurt, the way he did.
' Is that so? Then explain to me why my daughter is sitting in her flat in London, crying her eyes out, if she's so desperate to be with this other man? You might find it interesting to know that Kendra told me everything that happened,' Morgaine informed him. One black eyebrow popped up, telling her he found it hard to believe. 'Aye, she did. She told me about the little dungeon she has, about your using the Veritaserum on her. About the desk, and the two men, and the blue potion, and just about every other bloody thing she could. The only thing she didn't tell me was your name! And now I see why. She'd never admit it to me, but she fell in love with you. Stupid child, seeing as you're such a bastard. Why would she admit to me that she fell in love with a man who couldn't possibly love her back?'
He opened his mouth to reply, but no sound came out. He suspected he looked exactly like the fish she'd called him a few moments ago, his jaw working soundlessly. His brain had seized on one small point. She loved him. Kendra loved him? It couldn't be. Her mother must be mistaken. He scowled at her, closing his mouth and pressing it into a thin line. His voice came out very low. ' I believe you must be mistaken, Madam. I know what that ungrateful little bitch told me. She was running to someone else's arms. If she loved me, she'd have stayed here.'
'Stay here to be your pet? You've got to be daft, man! I heard all about how you treated her.Would you have stayed if she treated you like an object? You never once called her by her name! She felt as if you only saw her as something to be owned, to be possessed. You should be ashamed of yourself. Kendra is a proud lass. She'll not come crawling back to you, because she believes you dinna care for her!' Morgaine shouted at the thick headed lout. Some men just never got it, unless you beat them about the head with a lead pipe.
'Well of course I bloody well care for her! I.....' his words faltered as the truth stood up and smacked him dead on in the face. His brain was dancing about in his head happily. ~It's about time, you stupid prat!~ it sang joyously at him. The giddiness of his mind was replaced by anger. She left him because she thought he treated her poorly? He'd been bloody good to her! He'd never once beaten her, no matter that she deserved it. She'd had food and drink, a place to sleep. She'd spent her time with nary a care. Hell, she'd even worn more of his clothes than he had. Treated poorly, indeed! 'It would seem that she and I have some things to discuss. Tell me where I can find her.'
' It's too late, lad,' Morgaine laughed, although it wasn't a very happy sound. His hand curled into a fist. Too late? Why? 'She should be leaving for her extended holiday. Her Da and I set some money aside for it when she graduated. She's decided to use it now. When I left her flat, she was packing.'
'You will tell me where I can find her,' Severus ordered angrily. He would not let her slip through his hands again. Not if he still had a chance.....
end chapter twelve.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
wanna catch up on all my stuff? check this link out. its got everything! The Ultimate ldf Fic Index