Counting
...my blessings has always been one of my sure fire ways to cheer myself up. I find myself doing it quite a lot these days as I seem to have sunk into some kinda mood pit.
I woke up today depressed due to the fact that I lost money at work yesterday and I severely doubted my chances of making enough money to cover both days. I gritted my teeth when I found out we were due for a very quiet day on the ferry and just walked around like normal.
In the Club Lounge I met my first customer. Sometimes I just know when somebody wants a massage and I knew to ask her. I'd put her late forties to early fifties, good fashion sense and lovely dyed red hair. So I sat her down on the sofa and asked her a couple of routine questions, such as whether or not she had any injuries or illnesses I should be aware of.
And she looked me straight in the eye and told me she'd just been diagnosed with breast cancer.
I'm not supposed to give people with cancer a massage, it's one of my contra-indications. But something in the way she looked at me told me that more than anything right now she deserved a little treat.
We chatted whilst I did the massage, which I elongated a little for her sake. We chatted about her daughter, her holiday, my degree and the fact that she was due for a masectomy on the 14th. She sounded perfectly matter of fact but the energy I was feeling off her told me she was scared. I did all I could to try and put some good vibes into the massage, wishing throughout that I knew how to properly perform reiki.
When it was over she hugged me, kissed me on the cheek and saying thankyou, pressed a twenty pound note in my hand. A twenty is a lot for one massage, but it wasn't that that bothered me. It was that brief and yet deep connection we had, for all of those 10 minutes. Our energies had mingled in a way that normally doesn't happen when I massage people.
And as I walked away I felt like crying. It was like I was walking away from a very close friend. Yet I didn't cry because I knew she didn't pity herself, so why should I patronise her by pity? I walked away with a new strength, a new focus.
I told her one of my life's ambitions was to be on the front page of the Telegraph magazine for my scriptwriting. Carole, you said you'd keep an eye out for me, and wished me luck. Right back at you <3