Poop, I feel like it.
I feel like poop.
On the way home from work yesterday I looked across the lake and saw houses lit up with Christmas lights. Christmas trees were in windows and I felt a pang of nostalgia. I miss the times when I was younger when I felt this warm excitement for Christmas. I miss the thought of people coming together to celebrate whether was the birth of Christ, to celebrate the coming together of family and loved ones, or just a time when to appreciate those around you. Now, I feel like the days are blurring together.
My feet hurt; I'm thirsty; I'm sad; I'm lonely; I'm angry; I'm tired; I'm confused. I haven't eaten anything other than a few chips today. I don't know whether I like work or not. I don't know when to motivate myself to go to the mall. I feel like I have so little time, but I don't because I'm at work just as much as I was in school. It's so much more tiring, though. My feet didn't hurt at school and I had less urges to knock people upside the head. I felt more structured at school too. My days off are the bright lights at the end of the tunnel. At the moment, that light's very dim, but that's because on that day I have to go to a clinic and get some stuff done for school.
School. School is a major pain in the butt. This stupid immunization session was on the 26th that gave me the needed info to get stuff done, but turns out I may not be able to get everything required done because I don't have a family doctor, blood tests takes at least two week to find out the results, and I have to take some stupid mantoux test. I'm going into Dental Assisting, not Brain Surgery, dammit.
My head hurts. I was looking forward to something yummy to eat today, but dad ordered disgusting Gondola pizza for supper. I hate pizza and I hate Gondola pizza especially. There's nothing else to eat, either. And I just spend the past few minutes crying over it. Everything's just bottling up.
I need to go the mall soon. I lack the energy to do so on days I work, though. On those days I just want to curl up on my pajamas, drink tea, take a bath, eat tostitos and nacho cheeze and do nothing. I want the energy and inspiration back so I can start writing again. I want... I want a lot of things, but I obviously can't have them.
Sorry for the emo-note.
Carly
On the way home from work yesterday I looked across the lake and saw houses lit up with Christmas lights. Christmas trees were in windows and I felt a pang of nostalgia. I miss the times when I was younger when I felt this warm excitement for Christmas. I miss the thought of people coming together to celebrate whether was the birth of Christ, to celebrate the coming together of family and loved ones, or just a time when to appreciate those around you. Now, I feel like the days are blurring together.
My feet hurt; I'm thirsty; I'm sad; I'm lonely; I'm angry; I'm tired; I'm confused. I haven't eaten anything other than a few chips today. I don't know whether I like work or not. I don't know when to motivate myself to go to the mall. I feel like I have so little time, but I don't because I'm at work just as much as I was in school. It's so much more tiring, though. My feet didn't hurt at school and I had less urges to knock people upside the head. I felt more structured at school too. My days off are the bright lights at the end of the tunnel. At the moment, that light's very dim, but that's because on that day I have to go to a clinic and get some stuff done for school.
School. School is a major pain in the butt. This stupid immunization session was on the 26th that gave me the needed info to get stuff done, but turns out I may not be able to get everything required done because I don't have a family doctor, blood tests takes at least two week to find out the results, and I have to take some stupid mantoux test. I'm going into Dental Assisting, not Brain Surgery, dammit.
My head hurts. I was looking forward to something yummy to eat today, but dad ordered disgusting Gondola pizza for supper. I hate pizza and I hate Gondola pizza especially. There's nothing else to eat, either. And I just spend the past few minutes crying over it. Everything's just bottling up.
I need to go the mall soon. I lack the energy to do so on days I work, though. On those days I just want to curl up on my pajamas, drink tea, take a bath, eat tostitos and nacho cheeze and do nothing. I want the energy and inspiration back so I can start writing again. I want... I want a lot of things, but I obviously can't have them.
Sorry for the emo-note.
Carly