love you to death-type o is quite possibly the most beautiful song i've ever heard, next to......
i woke up this morning in a way that i have never awoken in my life, which is suprising. when i was young i was afraid of a lot of things so bedtime was hell, don't know how i got through it. but last night was different. i haven't been afraid for a long time. even the night before, the dream was something that i couldn't describe in words nor what i know it means, and i slept the entire day so it's very long and incredibly detailed in a way that chills my souls beyond depths that i never imagined. especially for the fact that i woke up periodically and would go back to sleep and resume it, and i would have deja vu in the dream and realize that i did and realize that i had woken up outside of the dream and i was redreaming. but i couldn't stop it. and i didn't want to, even though i knew the horrors that lay before me. and then last night, well my awakening was much more abrupt. the dream was different. strange and different. something i won't soon forget. i fear to tell any of them to another, for trying to put them into words would only destroy the magick of them, their intricacies and complexcities would fade into the mists and crumble to ashes as i grasp for them only to retain some possible meaning for all of it. oh how goth. ::dot staple dot forhead:: while the night before i awoke in my usual drowsy opening my eyes to realize i hadn't put up an away message, then rolling back over without bothering with it because i didn't care, this morning i damn near knocked my computer off my bed. shear terror. i really don't think i've ever even been in shear terror. my comforter was wraped around me tightly and in the strangest way. from what i remember my arms were shielding me then quickly hit the walls or something to that effect. they still hurt, as does my neck and back greatly. i noticed some slight scratch marks on my legs as well. i've haven't gotten out of bed all day, listening to music all day and thinking. i already knew all the conclusions i came to. i just had to dwell on them for a bit. because i cannot say them. it will be the end of me. but not yet. fuck no. fuck that. i'm not letting them win. fuck you. i learned early. i should have learned that lesson by now and hardened myself. THEN WHY THE FUCKING HELL AM I STILL FUCKING CRYING EVERY GODS DAMNED DAY BECAUSE SO MUCH RACKS MY SOUL THAT I CAN BARELY BREATHE. they're not going to beat me. go n-ithe an bhadhbh chroi. slainte.