This isn't a movie, don't think it will end like one
For the last two and a half years, my husband has been estranged from his father. It's odd thing to explain. His father is alive however they don't communicate.
At one time, I would have thought it would be one of the worst possible outcomes. However my husband is happier not speaking to his father. Of course when I finally stood back and looked at the entire situation I realized who doesn't want one less psycho in his or her life. One less liar, one less disappointment, etc...
I can only speak first hand on what I've seen since I met my husband several years ago. In that time, I saw my father-in-law use his family and "friends" for his own gain. I saw him on several occasions belittle my mother-in-law (who was already divorced from him) as means to get money or some other favor later down the road. I saw him intentionally drive a wedge between his son and his partner du jour.
After my husband's grandfather died, I started seeing my father-in-law abuse his mother's love and literally drain her savings without remorse.
The final straw I think was we started to see him try his little games on us. It didn't matter what he wanted, we didn't want to play. The only way not to play is to not engage.
'Tis the season for relatives to try to get my husband and his father to reconcile. My husband gave the relationship 30 years, and reconciled on more than a few occasions with his dad (he didn't need to make a big show of it). Including after our wedding, my father-in-law pulled a stunt that would make most daughter-in-laws ban him from their homes. To sum it up, my father-in-law "disapproved" of me and basically told my husband not to marry me. Had it stopped there, I could have dealt with him better. He went further and offered to sneak my husband out of the church. The minister offered to kick my father-in-law out. The minister.
Now people expect a phone call will make everything better.
Sorry people, if the ending is near it won't be a Hollywood one. It will be sad, empty and without true closure.
At one time, I would have thought it would be one of the worst possible outcomes. However my husband is happier not speaking to his father. Of course when I finally stood back and looked at the entire situation I realized who doesn't want one less psycho in his or her life. One less liar, one less disappointment, etc...
I can only speak first hand on what I've seen since I met my husband several years ago. In that time, I saw my father-in-law use his family and "friends" for his own gain. I saw him on several occasions belittle my mother-in-law (who was already divorced from him) as means to get money or some other favor later down the road. I saw him intentionally drive a wedge between his son and his partner du jour.
After my husband's grandfather died, I started seeing my father-in-law abuse his mother's love and literally drain her savings without remorse.
The final straw I think was we started to see him try his little games on us. It didn't matter what he wanted, we didn't want to play. The only way not to play is to not engage.
'Tis the season for relatives to try to get my husband and his father to reconcile. My husband gave the relationship 30 years, and reconciled on more than a few occasions with his dad (he didn't need to make a big show of it). Including after our wedding, my father-in-law pulled a stunt that would make most daughter-in-laws ban him from their homes. To sum it up, my father-in-law "disapproved" of me and basically told my husband not to marry me. Had it stopped there, I could have dealt with him better. He went further and offered to sneak my husband out of the church. The minister offered to kick my father-in-law out. The minister.
Now people expect a phone call will make everything better.
Sorry people, if the ending is near it won't be a Hollywood one. It will be sad, empty and without true closure.