Jun 16, 2010 14:24
The back pain continues, even though I had my first RF ablution done. The pain management doctor did joints T6, T7 & T8 on both sides of my spine. When I went in for the follow up, and was still in tremendous pain, he said a lot of it was fibro pain (which I already knew, I can tell the difference) but that they must have just not gotten the right spot. The three joints only cover an inch or two of space on my spine, and when he had me point to the spot he said it was below where the procedure site was. He had me point three times, and showed me on his little chart where I was pointing and where the procedure was done. On the third time, he actually asked me, "Knowing where it was done, now point to me where the pain is" like the spot was going to move or something! Oh, okay doc, now that I know you did the work here, let me move my pain there. Anyhow, tomorrow I go in to do another RF procedure that will be only the right side, joints T9-L1.
My pain that day was below the procedure site, but my pain does move and change spots, depending on what I've been doing. Today, and last night, my pain was in my left side, either at the top of or above the site, and right now, it's right smack dab between my shoulder blades. It gets to being a deep ache, and I can hardly stand it. The pain that I pointed out to him though, the one below the site, that is the original pain, the one that I first felt waking from the surgery a year ago. Shoot, a year ago in two days.
It's so hard to believe that this has taken a year from my life. How much more time will it steal from me? Dr. Lai told me last time I was there that I need to look forward and not dwell on the past, but it's really hard to. With all the weight it's made me gain, all the time it's made me lose, and the fact that I most likely won't have a job much longer. We'll see. If I'm ever pain free again, then I'll be able to move on. Until then, the depression is just too black and too overwhelming.