Another "well damn" post
Well, my dad called around an hour ago. My Grandpa Corcorran died. He had fairly moderate Alzheimer's disease and had been in hospice for the better part of a year. With the occasional instance of clarity, the man that helped to raise me had been dead and gone for at least a year or two.
This is highly difficult for me. I lived with this man until I was six and his was the first home I ever remembered. I have this eternal picture of him from when I was young. Sitting in his lay-z-boy in blue overalls with a cigar in his right hand and a fly swatter in the other. When we went to kiss him goodnight my sister and I would always kiss the dog first then him. He'd always say in his gruff voice "Don't you go kiss that dog before you kiss me!" God, this is difficult....
My son will not get the chance to even meet his great-grandfather.... even as a baby.... not that he would have known the same person I knew anyway.
I remember a few Thanksgivings ago when Jacob, Lauren, and I went out to their place for the last Thanksgiving at their house. Grandpa was impressed with Lo's height and later referred to her as the "tall drink of water". Jacob sat in the den with him and kept him company while the rest of the family spent time in the living room.
We last saw Grandpa in hospice in February. He had dropped about 100 pounds. Not horrible because he was overweight anyway but not good either. He remembered me and Jacob. He commented on how much he liked Jacob's shoes. He remembered me and that I was pregnant. I got to see him twice more while I was there and I always told him that I loved him and that I would never forget about him. He seemed more afraid of being forgotten then of losing his own mind.
Oh did I mention I have my glucose test in about 6hrs? Yeah....
This is highly difficult for me. I lived with this man until I was six and his was the first home I ever remembered. I have this eternal picture of him from when I was young. Sitting in his lay-z-boy in blue overalls with a cigar in his right hand and a fly swatter in the other. When we went to kiss him goodnight my sister and I would always kiss the dog first then him. He'd always say in his gruff voice "Don't you go kiss that dog before you kiss me!" God, this is difficult....
My son will not get the chance to even meet his great-grandfather.... even as a baby.... not that he would have known the same person I knew anyway.
I remember a few Thanksgivings ago when Jacob, Lauren, and I went out to their place for the last Thanksgiving at their house. Grandpa was impressed with Lo's height and later referred to her as the "tall drink of water". Jacob sat in the den with him and kept him company while the rest of the family spent time in the living room.
We last saw Grandpa in hospice in February. He had dropped about 100 pounds. Not horrible because he was overweight anyway but not good either. He remembered me and Jacob. He commented on how much he liked Jacob's shoes. He remembered me and that I was pregnant. I got to see him twice more while I was there and I always told him that I loved him and that I would never forget about him. He seemed more afraid of being forgotten then of losing his own mind.
Oh did I mention I have my glucose test in about 6hrs? Yeah....