Fic: Bathroom Rituals of Female Higher-Order Primates, for melissajack
Mel, my darling, my love. You spread the love. You keep up the squee. You relentlessly campaign for all things Bones.
As I dutifully made my way to the restroom with my future sister-in-law, I had this thought for a fic.
I decided it could only be for you. It is short. It is humorous. But it was written with love.
Fic: The Bathroom Rituals of Female Higher-Oder Primates
Author: Meself, ladychi
Beta: FLYING SOLO TONIGHT, BBS.
Characters, Pairings: Angela, Brennan. I ship it a bit and it shows up here. Sorry!
Rating: All... ages. Ish.
Summary: Season 1 or 2 continuity. Somewhere in there. Angela and Brennan visit the ladies' together.
"I have never been able to understand this ritual."
The door shut behind her as soon as she had finished, and Temperance Brennan, PhD, was fixed with the assured gaze of Angela Montenegro. "Really, sweetie?"
"Yes. While I understand the roots in bonding, perhaps extending as far back as hunter-gatherers, when it would be necessary for protection to venture to the defecation area in groups in order to prevent attack, the reason for its continuing popularity in modern culture eludes me."
Angela's eyebrow raised. Brennan had learned that particular expression meant Angela doubted the veracity of her latest assertion. "We gab, Bren. That's what we go to the bathroom for. I ask you what you think of the guy you've been dancing with for the last hour, and you ask me if I'm going home with the hottie behind the bar."
"Oh." Brennan coughed awkwardly. "Shall we try that now?"
"You want to practice a social interaction?"
"I feel there are some areas of my life in which I could use... practice, yes. I have not had a female friend who insists on going to the bathroom when I go in... quite some time."
Angela smiled. "You say the sweetest things, sometimes."
"Are you going home with that extremely attractive man behind the bar?"
"Oh, honey. I am going to hit that so hard."
"Hit that? Is that a reference to a sado-masochistic ritual?"
Angela grinned wickedly. "Generally? No. In this case, specifically? Perhaps."
"Ah. That would be very pleasurable."
"It usually is. What about you? The guy you've been grinding on."
"I find lately I am... not as attracted to men like him."
"The nerdy look not doing it for you anymore?" At Brennan's look, Angela grinned and bumped her shoulder.
"Don't say it, Ange --"
"You should call Booth, propose a little sado-masochistic ritual of your own."
It must have been the alcohol, Brennan would think later. "I would, except we would never be able to determine who would be the dominant partner."
"Oh, I think you'd win that fight, babe. Booth strikes me as a man who needs to lose control from time to time, if you know what I'm saying?"
"Subduing him would be quite the task. Also, I occasionally enjoy the freedom of being the submissive partner."
"Temperance Brennan." Angela beamed. "I just adore the snot out of you, you know that, right?"
"My mucus is... not worth adoration."
"Ah, there you go again." Angela shook her head. "Being adorable. Come on, let's go back out there and get me laid."
"Wait! Ange!"
"Yeah, sweetie?"
"I actually need to avail myself of these facilities."
"Oh. Well. I can wait."
Brennan couldn't help the ridiculous smile, so wide it hurt. "Thank you."
Angela leaned against the counter. "You're welcome."
As I dutifully made my way to the restroom with my future sister-in-law, I had this thought for a fic.
I decided it could only be for you. It is short. It is humorous. But it was written with love.
Fic: The Bathroom Rituals of Female Higher-Oder Primates
Author: Meself, ladychi
Beta: FLYING SOLO TONIGHT, BBS.
Characters, Pairings: Angela, Brennan. I ship it a bit and it shows up here. Sorry!
Rating: All... ages. Ish.
Summary: Season 1 or 2 continuity. Somewhere in there. Angela and Brennan visit the ladies' together.
"I have never been able to understand this ritual."
The door shut behind her as soon as she had finished, and Temperance Brennan, PhD, was fixed with the assured gaze of Angela Montenegro. "Really, sweetie?"
"Yes. While I understand the roots in bonding, perhaps extending as far back as hunter-gatherers, when it would be necessary for protection to venture to the defecation area in groups in order to prevent attack, the reason for its continuing popularity in modern culture eludes me."
Angela's eyebrow raised. Brennan had learned that particular expression meant Angela doubted the veracity of her latest assertion. "We gab, Bren. That's what we go to the bathroom for. I ask you what you think of the guy you've been dancing with for the last hour, and you ask me if I'm going home with the hottie behind the bar."
"Oh." Brennan coughed awkwardly. "Shall we try that now?"
"You want to practice a social interaction?"
"I feel there are some areas of my life in which I could use... practice, yes. I have not had a female friend who insists on going to the bathroom when I go in... quite some time."
Angela smiled. "You say the sweetest things, sometimes."
"Are you going home with that extremely attractive man behind the bar?"
"Oh, honey. I am going to hit that so hard."
"Hit that? Is that a reference to a sado-masochistic ritual?"
Angela grinned wickedly. "Generally? No. In this case, specifically? Perhaps."
"Ah. That would be very pleasurable."
"It usually is. What about you? The guy you've been grinding on."
"I find lately I am... not as attracted to men like him."
"The nerdy look not doing it for you anymore?" At Brennan's look, Angela grinned and bumped her shoulder.
"Don't say it, Ange --"
"You should call Booth, propose a little sado-masochistic ritual of your own."
It must have been the alcohol, Brennan would think later. "I would, except we would never be able to determine who would be the dominant partner."
"Oh, I think you'd win that fight, babe. Booth strikes me as a man who needs to lose control from time to time, if you know what I'm saying?"
"Subduing him would be quite the task. Also, I occasionally enjoy the freedom of being the submissive partner."
"Temperance Brennan." Angela beamed. "I just adore the snot out of you, you know that, right?"
"My mucus is... not worth adoration."
"Ah, there you go again." Angela shook her head. "Being adorable. Come on, let's go back out there and get me laid."
"Wait! Ange!"
"Yeah, sweetie?"
"I actually need to avail myself of these facilities."
"Oh. Well. I can wait."
Brennan couldn't help the ridiculous smile, so wide it hurt. "Thank you."
Angela leaned against the counter. "You're welcome."