Fic: The (Rather Unfortunate) Disadvantages of Gingerbread Construction
Title: The (Rather Unfortunate) Disadvantages of Gingerbread Construction
Author: ladychi
Betas:
plaid_slytherin ,
papilio_luna , and momdaegmorgan
Rating: Adult
Words: 5304
Summary: Once upon a time, there was a lonely little boy, and a girl he gave both his hearts to... A trip into the woods with no bread crumbs to find the way back to the TARDIS goes a bit wrong for Ten and Rose. Written for the Support Stacie auction winner, Lily Fiore.
A/N: This is actually the first of a series of fics which
plaid_slytherin will cowrite, after this one, of retold fairy tales using our favorite characters. Sort of.
The (Rather Unfortunate) Disadvantages of Gingerbread Construction
A Tale From the Book of Improbable Things
A fic for LilyFiore, who won the Doctor Who LadyChi author auction at Support Stacie this April. Thank you for your generous bid. I submit to you, a Ten/Rose fic, as requested. It begins, as all good stories do, with...
Once upon a time, in a land far away from here, where the grass was red and the sky was orange, was born a boy doomed to loneliness. One day, a war came to his people that threatened to sever the Universe. His people fought long and hard and when the time came, there was nothing more they could do. They sent the boy in his blue box to do the only option left. The boy, although he did not want to, unleashed the fury of the Time Lords, and the fate of their great enemy, the Daleks, was sealed. Many worlds died, and his own people perished. The little boy was alone.
In his loneliness, he did as he had in his younger days and set out to travel the universe, where he came upon a little town you may have heard of, dear readers. In London, he found Rose Tyler and saved her from death, even as she saved him from himself. But that is not where our story begins. Our story begins in a different galaxy, in a different time, with our lonely little boy in an entirely new body, for he had already gone on many adventures with Rose Tyler. It begins, in fact, on the planet of Clom, in the Bragiss galaxy.
As you well may know, Clom is a forest planet. These forests are so dense and immense that it is very easy to get lost in them, which is just what the Doctor was telling his friend Rose as they stepped out of his magical blue box.
**
"Rose!" The Doctor stood outside the TARDIS and thumped impatiently on its door as he surveyed his surroundings. "C'mon!"
"Well, you said dress for hiking and I didn't have any boots, so I had to go to the wardrobe," Rose said, stepping out of the TARDIS to stand next to him. "What do you think of these?"
He took a brief look down and took in her high-top boots with thick soles, jeans and solid-color pink t-shirt. She'd flung a pack on her back that no doubt held a couple of bottles of clean water and some snack food. "They'll keep your feet dry. Let's go, Rose, we're wasting daylight!"
"Where are we and where are we going, again?" Rose asked, jogging a few paces to keep up with the longer-legged Doctor.
"On the forest planet of Clom. Every kind of densely plant-populated ecosystem you could want exists on this planet, Rose! They have rain forests in the north and deciduous in the far south -- desert forests with cactus-like trees in the far east and fern forests in the west and everything in between. We are going to watch the three-legged spotted eagles hatch. I've timed this one brilliantly, Rose, we should be right on time. You won't believe it. They hatch singing! Singing, not chirping for food. The first thing they do is a sing a song of joy. It's all very symbolic, but you know me, old softy two-hearts."
Rose laughed. "You could say that."
"We've got to hike a couple of miles northeast of here," the Doctor said, pulling out a device with an arrow that swirled back and forth, making an absurd sort of clicking noise that repeated several times a minute, "and then climb a bit of a hill, and we should arrive in time to see them hatch. You're gonna love this. Absolutely love it."
Rose beamed at him and took his hand, wriggling her fingers a bit until they fit together, as comfortably as if they had been born that way. The Doctor suspected that if she stayed with him until the end of his lives, their hands locked together would always feel the same. It would always feel right. His hearts were buoyed by the thought and they took off in the direction of the arrow, chatting happily. Not a half-a-mile from the TARDIS, Rose reached into her pack and pulled out a bag of crisps , munching on them as they walked, since they hadn't really had a chance to grab a real meal in several hours.
"Oi, you're being a bit messy there," the Doctor said as a half-crisp bounced off of Rose's shirt and landed on the forest floor.
"Can't help it! It's hard to walk and eat crisps, I'll have you know," Rose said indignantly, sucking the salt off of her pointer finger in a most distracting manner. "Besides, this way, we'll be able to find our way back to the TARDIS."
"Time Lord, me. I don't need breadcrumbs to find my way," the Doctor said with a sniff. "I've got superb TARDIS-finding instincts."
Rose laughed. "Yeah, right. What about that time that we lost it at my mum's, huh? Took us two hours to find it 'round the corner outside the pub."
"That was a fluke."
Rose beamed at him. "Mars. Ptreus 3. Hubrium. Jjox."
"Yes, well. It's very like a human to focus on all the times that I haven't quite lived up to my reputation. But you don't ever mention the times when I know exactly where the TARDIS is, do you?" The Doctor smirked at Rose. "I've got an impressive success rate, if you stop to think about it!"
"That's like bragging that you can remember where you parked your car every time you go to Tesco's!" Rose stuck her tongue at the Doctor and jogged a few steps, jumping over a particularly large branch that had fallen to the floor. "Not impressive!"
"Oi, I am so! A TARDIS is not even comparable to a car! That's like... comparing a yacht and a speedboat!"
Rose's laugh echoed in the valley and stirred something deep in the forest.
**
Now the distance the Doctor had planned to walk was much shorter than the distance he and his friend Rose actually walked. This was not an uncommon occurrence, for as gifted as the little boy was with many other things, he was not a born navigator. Rose was accustomed to this, though, and said nothing to her friend until they had been walking for some length of time-without seeing the Doctor's famed singing birds-they came upon a house made of the finest smelling gingerbread they had ever smelt, and they quite lost their senses...
**
The Doctor's couple of miles had turned into several. Periodically, he took out his eagle-detector and scanned the trees around them with his brow furrowed. The sun hung low in the sky and Rose was tired and thirsty by the time they came to a small stream. Without consulting the Doctor, Rose plopped down on a rock on the edge of the water and fanned herself with a hand.
The Doctor twirled, shaking the eagle-detector and cursing under his breath.
"Well, what does it say?" Rose asked, longing to take off the boots she'd thought would be so practical. She had blisters in places she hadn't thought she could get blisters in.
"The readings aren't clear. Haven't been in a while," the Doctor admitted, plopping down on the ground next to her. "I have a feeling that we are rather spectacularly lost, Rose."
She smiled, sliding down the rock until it was bracing her back, uncaring of the slight dampness of the ground and the way it soaked through to her jeans. "It's not the first time we've been lost together. Know what we're doing, us. When it comes to being lost, that is."
"Yep," the Doctor acknowledged.
"Do you suppose that water's clean? I think I've emptied our last," Rose said, brandishing a plastic bottle and shaking it at the Doctor.
"Let me check." He bent down and scanned it with the sonic screwdriver. Shaking his head, he rose to his feet. "It would be safe enough for a bottle or two but we'd better not consume anymore of it than that. It's got some chemicals and additives neither one of us are used to. If we need to stay longer I can purify it, but I think we should keep moving until we can find appropriate shelter for the evening. Clom's safe enough during the day. Night's another story all together."
He refilled their water bottles and then pulled Rose to her feet, hopping across the stream easily and helping her do the same. His greatcoat flapped in the breeze as the sun sank lower and lower, and the forest seemed to come to life. Frogs began to chirp and ribbit, or something that resembled frogs. Birds flapped overhead and the trees rustled and creaked.
Rose had spent all of her childhood in London and hadn't had a lot of exposure to forested areas before she met the Doctor, and so she found herself jumping at the sounds the Doctor took for granted. In the far-off distance, a large cat roared its victory and she shuddered.
"What was that?"
"Most closely resembles a panther on your planet. Here they'd call it a chi'bak -- it's a sort of large spotted feline with webbed feet. Spends most of its time hanging about in trees or in the water and eats other small mammals for food."
"Like people?"
The Doctor laughed. "No. You're much too scary, Rose Tyler. I know I wouldn't want to try and eat you." He flushed and scratched the back of his neck. "For... dinner. Were I a carnivore. You understand what I'm saying."
"Ooooh." Rose's face lit up in the dying daylight. "Do you smell that?"
"Smell what?" The Doctor perked up, taking a cautious sniff of the air. "That smells like-"
"Gingerbread! C'mon then!" Rose tugged on the Doctor's hand, running in the direction of the delicious odor. Her stomach was rumbling and the package of crisps seemed hours and hours ago, if not days. They came upon a clearing in the middle of the dense forest, in which sat a house. It was a pretty thing-brown, and trimmed in white, with accents of red and green. The windows were slightly opaque and appeared almost like stained glass. The walk leading up to it was carefully maintained, the grass trimmed and the path free of weeds, made of a sort of cobbled stone.
"Nooo," the Doctor breathed. "It can't be. Rose, does that look like..."
"It's a gingerbread house!" Rose laughed out loud, throwing her fist in the air. "Can't you smell it from here?"
"Now that... that is brilliant. You know, I've never seen a life-size one of these. Mine always fall apart for some reason. Something about the sugar-to-milk ratio in my frosting..."
Rose wasn't listening. She rushed ahead of the Doctor, dropping her pack to the ground. When she came to the front door, she stopped abruptly and turned back to beam at him. "Hurry up! I think I see gum drops!"
"Do you now?" the Doctor rushed forward too, her enthusiasm catching. They walked around the perimeter, holding hands and talking in almost-reverent voices. There were licorice sticks outlining the windows and candied oranges for shutters. All of the doorknobs were made of gumdrops. Jelly babies made up a sort of brick-pattern on one face of the house, and on another, chocolates were used as a retaining wall for growing lollipops in a sweets garden. Through the sugar-windows they could see peppermint sticks being used as load-bearing beams and rafters of thin waffle. Caramel flowed from an angel's pitcher in a fountain outside of the house, and when Rose ran her finger over the surface of it, powdered sugar came off, exposing the donut-like texture underneath.
The Doctor bounced on his heels, squeezing Rose's hand. Rose licked her lips and turned to the Doctor. "I know I shouldn't, but I really want to try some. It's like Willy Wonka. You just want to stick your finger in the chocolate fountain."
"No Oompa Loompas on Clom, Rose!" The Doctor practically skipped over to the house and braced his hands on the wall. "We shouldn't. Really, Rose. This is someone's house."
"Just a little taste?" Rose asked. "It can't hurt, can it? Just a little... nibble. It'll look like the wind took a bit of it or something." She edged closer to him, her mouth watering and her stomach turning over in protest.
The Doctor swallowed and closed his eyes. Rose could see the battle-his impetuous nature and the voice inside that reminded him of social niceties warring with each other for dominance. And then, as she knew it would, his tongue flicked out and tasted just a bit of the gingerbread of the house. He jerked away immediately, and Rose's heart sank, but he wasn't making faces of disgust. His eyes remained rapturously closed for a few minutes more before he opened them again and focused on Rose.
"What's it like?" she asked, stepping a little bit closer to him. "Is it... good?"
"Oh," the Doctor said with half-lidded eyes. "It's very good." Carefully, he reached up and took off a piece off the roof, just enough for the length of his hand. He broke it in half and gave the other portion to Rose. "Try it."
She took a piece of it, the smell tingling her taste buds before her tongue had even touched it. Like a child with Christmas sweets , she took just a little bit on the outside and let it explode in her mouth. It was spicy-warming her mouth with more than just heat, but sweet at the same time. As soon as she had tasted it, she wanted more, to eat the whole chunk in one greedy gulp. Still, she took her time, breaking off little pieces and chewing them slowly before she swallowed. The Doctor, she could see, was doing the same thing, sucking on his fingers to get the last traces of flavor off of them when he was done.
"How about some of that caramel milk to wash it down?" the Doctor suggested. "We could dump out the water in the water bottles."
Rose readily agreed, and they did just that, dumping what remained of the water onto the ground and filling the two bottles with the caramel liquid. It was somehow ice cold in the heat of the day and filled up Rose's stomach completely. She swayed a little, laying her head on the Doctor's shoulders as he wrapped an arm around her.
"What do you think? Peppermint for dessert?" he asked in a husky voice.
Rose tugged on his neck and kissed him, rising up on her tiptoes to get the full taste of his lips. They were slightly cool, but tasted of gingerbread and caramel -- honey sweet and spicy. His scent filled her nostrils-pheromones, he'd said-clean and rich and distinctly masculine. His hands trailed to her waist, lifting up the hem of her t-shirt to caress her back with the pads of his fingers. Deftly, his hand slipped in between her jeans and the skin of her hip, pressing her closer to him.
She could feel him against her stomach, already hard and insistent. She grinned at him cheekily. "Someone's certainly ready for dessert."
"You were licking your fingers, Rose," the Doctor said plaintively. "It was very, very distracting."
"It was good," Rose murmured, kissing the Doctor again, playing the hair at the nape of his neck. "I can still taste it on you."
"Mmm," the Doctor hummed and ran his thumb underneath her t-shirt, tracing the bottom of her bra lightly. "You still taste like Rose to me. Only... spicier."
"Is it a good thing?"
The Doctor beamed. "Oh yes."
"Shall we look and see if anyone's at home?" Rose asked. "If there's a bed, not that I don't mind other... things, it's just we've been hiking all day and-"
"Ha! Rose Tyler, I do like the way you think!" The Doctor secured her hand in his and knocked on the door. They waited for a long moment and no one came to the door. The Docor twisted the doorknob and it opened easily.
It was a simple one-room affair, with a modest bed and quilt in one corner, an abnormally large wood stove in the other, a desk and a wall of pots and pans. Barrels of sugar and flour lined one of the walls and spices hung from the ceiling. It smelled of cloves and ginger, of peppermint and caramel.
Rose shut the door behind the Doctor and pounced on him, pulling his shirt out of his trousers insistently. They fell to the bed in a giggling heap.
**
Now, my dear readers, you may recall another story about a blonde-haired little girl that intruded on to property that was not hers. She tested each bed in turn, each chair in turn, and each bowl of porridge in turn. But sometimes, when one is looking for a bed-well. Let us just say that sometimes one isn't nearly so picky...
**
They didn't waste any time once inside the cabin, undressing to take sponge baths and pouncing on each other on the bed.
"I am going to lick you like a candy cane," the Doctor promised solemnly. In any other circumstance, Rose would have laughed. But the Doctor's eyes were molten, his cock already straining up towards his stomach. At the foot of the bed, he took her big toe into his mouth and sucked, turning her foot over and then placing a kiss on the arch of her foot. Up the back side of her calf, his lips trailed. Not licking, but letting lips just barely touch skin. He pressed an open mouthed kiss to the back of her knee and then rotated her leg to press a kiss to her knee-cap. Rose held her breath as she watched him, his eyes intent on hers.
He turned her leg again, dragging his mouth up the inside of her thigh until he was mid-way to the point Rose desperately wanted his mouth. And he kissed her -- sucked and licked and nipped until she had a mark. She arched and gasped, bunching the cabin's pretty quilt in her hands. She already was on fire, already heated putty in his hands.
He drew a shaky breath and closed his eyes. She knew her reactions were testing his control. He shook himself and pressed a kiss to her center, but didn't part her, so that it teased the area without actually delivering any of the sensation she wanted. Rose's breath hitched and she arched up insistently.
"Dammit, Doctor," she hissed.
"My Rose," he whispered, his hands trailing up her other leg to push it to the side, her knees slightly bent. He inhaled -- the smell of her pheromones and the sweets in the air a heady perfume for him and her both.
His tongue dipped inside her navel. He swirled it, teased it the way he would tease another sensitive place on her body. It was all Rose could do to keep from grabbing the Doctor's hair and yanking him to where she wanted. His fingernails scraped lightly against her skin as he let them lead the way up her body. Gently he pinched the nipple to attention and twisted it this way and that in rhythm with his attentions to her belly button.
She pumped her hips, desperate for some attention to the areas that would make her come. But the Doctor was patient, moving to the other nipple and the letting his mouth travel up as well. In contrast to the gentleness of his hands, his mouth was demanding, suckling her breasts until she writhed underneath of him and struggled for purchase.
"Trust me?" the Doctor asked her in a low voice.
"What? Yeah, yeah," she panted. "Just... please."
From a bowl next to the bed he drew a thick, round peppermint stick. He popped it into his mouth and sucked, her attention drawn to the movements of his throat. He took as much of it into his mouth as he could, and Rose's mouth went a little dry.
"There," he whispered, and traced it down her body, making a complicated pattern on her stomach. "Spread your legs."
"I-" Rose flushed a dark red. "What?"
"Spread your legs." Slowly, she did as he asked. The peppermint slid down her body, leaving a sticky trail as it went, and the Doctor's mouth was on her stomach, and then her groin. He parted her at the front with gentle finger tips and then slid the peppermint stick back, pressing on her clit. She shouted and her vision went a bit white. The Doctor chuckled a little. He crawled back up her body and kissed her neck, still moving the peppermint stick back further and further, until he teased the area craving its attention.
"Doctor," Rose gasped. He found the center of her opening and pushed the peppermint in steadily. She froze at its hardness, the lack of the pliancy of skin, and at the way the Doctor continued to push it in. She panted, arching her back, the further it went in.
"Is that okay?" the Doctor asked.
"Yeah," Rose breathed.
He slid it out and then thrust it back in. Her body clenched desperately around it, unsure of what to do with its smoothness. It was alien, forbidden. The Doctor watched her, watched her every reaction, swirled it around inside of her, watching which spots made her moan, which made her gasp. She was close to the edge, building up a rhythm, when the Doctor slid the candy cane out of her. Eyes still on hers, he studied it, the wetness covering it. Without hesitation, he put the end of it in his mouth and sucked. Rose couldn't take anymore, her hands trailing down her own body to rub roughly against her clit, and she came.
The Doctor hummed in the back of his throat. "Peppermint and Rose. It's my new favorite flavor."
Rose lay back, panting for a minute, until she pulled him up and rolled him over onto his back. "Let me taste." He offered her the stick of sweets, but she didn't take it from his hands. Instead, she drew it into her mouth and drew her lips up and down the shaft of peppermint. The Doctor groaned.
"Rose," he said huskily. "I..."
"What do you want? Mouth or..."
"Or," he said firmly, and drew her waist over him and sighed in relief when she slid home. She rode him like that-straddling his waist, breasts swaying at the hard rhythm, until he climaxed, reaching over his head and yanking on the headboard. She stopped, still for a minute while they recovered, before she slowly rolled off of him.
They were both quiet for a long moment. "Well," said the Doctor. "That was..."
"Yeah," Rose agreed, breathlessly. "Let's get that peppermint stick bronzed."
**
The thing about staying in houses that don't belong to you, dear readers, is that very oftentimes, at the most inconvenient moment, the owner of the house will return. Now, if you are lucky enough to have picked the house of a family of somewhat understanding bears, you will only be thrown out. But sometimes, letting yourself uninvinted into an unoccupied house means that you have let yourself into the lair of a witch. And in those times, discretion being the better part of valor, and death by cannibalistic witch being a very unpleasant way to go, it is best to run.
The lost little boy and his friend Rose were not lucky enough to get that opportunity, however...
**
The door creaked open in the early morning hours and the huddled form of a woman stepped inside. She wore a tattered gray dress and a blue apron, and she bent at the waist as though a great weight pressed her down into the ground from her shoulders. Her skin was wrinkled and her hair was white, pulled back and secured into a stiff bun at the top of her head, although a few bangs escaped. She was not unpleasant-looking, or embittered. As a matter of fact, she smiled as she removed her cloak and put her basket of apples and sugar cane down on the ground.
"Would you look at that, Mercredi?" she asked a gray tabby cat, who had followed her inside. "The gods have graced us with dinner. And what fine specimens they are, too."
The Doctor stirred, his head pounding and his stomach rolling. "Unrghk," he said eloquently, and rolled over, bumping into Rose on the way.
"It looks as though the drug is wearing off," the witch said quickly. "We must hurry if we are to enjoy them before it becomes a struggle. Pip, pip!"
The great cat shuddered, and grew in size until it was even larger than one of its safari relatives. Delicately, it raised one of its giant paws and gave it a prepartory lick, and then it did the same to the other.
"Thank you for washing your hands," the old woman said cheerfully. "It does so make me proud. Now grab them quick, sir!"
With a wave of her hand, she gestured up at the low-ceilings, and they groaned and creaked until they rose up into the sky. Another wave of her hand, and the very large stove in the corner got larger and larger. A simple flick of a switch, which the old woman jumped to reach, and it roared into life with a great crack.
The Doctor sat up, eyes wide. "Oi! What's the- ?"
Mercredi lifted the Doctor up delicately by the pants with his teeth and carried him a few steps over to the stove, where the old woman was struggling to lift a very large pot on top of her burn.
"You don't want to eat me!" the Doctor kicked. "Hey!"
"Oh, I'm afraid I very much do," the old woman said. "Humans are such a rare delicacy these days. And you did eat a part of my house. In my mind, this is fair. Isn't it fair, Mercredi?"
The cat nodded his head enthusiastically, sending the Doctor flying up, until his feet touched the ceiling, and then back down.
"Whiplash!" the Doctor cried. "Have you never heard of whiplash? Well, seeing as how you're going to eat me, that's hardly a fair expectation on my part, now is it? Excuse me, but before you throw me in that boiling pot-looks lovely, by the way. What are you spicing it with?"
"Sage and celery. Have to use the real thing on the celery, none of that salt nonsense," the old woman said promptly, and stirred the water with a large wooden spoon.
"I'll keep that in mind. Rose? Next time we take prisoners on the TARDIS to eat alive, use sage and celery." Rose, who had been stirring in the bed, woke up, and froze with wide eyes. "Now, what can I call you? Person who's going to eat me is so... tedious."
"Mathilda."
"Ah." The Doctor wrinkled his nose. "That is unfortunate. No wonder you grew up to eat people. Now, may I just say, that eating Rose and I is a bad move? I mean, really bad. Ridiculously bad."
"Oh really." Mathilda put her spoon on her hip and stared at him with fixed eyes. "Tell me why I shouldn't eat you."
"Well." The Doctor thought for a moment.
"Doctor!" Rose shouted.
"I'm thinking, I'm thinking! For one thing, I am really, terribly skinny. All bones and muscle, me. Not a gram of fat on me. And pardon my saying so, but it doesn't look as though you're on a low-fat diet."
Rose's eyes narrowed and she shook her head. "Doctor," she hissed.
"Oh, was that rude? Suppose it was, a bit." The cat shook him viciously. "Oi! She's letting me have my say, you! Now, cool it. I used to like cats. I had plenty of regenerations when I loved the pieces out of them. Don't go ruining it now! Well, an order of you in wimples just about did me in already, but I was working on getting back to liking you. It's bad form to dismiss an entire family of animal based on one bad experience, though..."
"Doctor!" Rose shouted.
"We don't belong here!" He said hastily. "Visitors from off-world. We didn't know the rules, we got a bit lost. We were trying to see the eagles hatching..."
"Well, then, you won't be missed," Mathilda said blithely. "This gets better and better. Mercredi, drop him in the pot."
Rose sat up and ran in her just her t-shirt to the pot the old woman was stirring. "Oh no you don't!" She jumped and grabbed one of its enormous handles, dumping the water on the old woman and flooded the cabin with its scalding hot liquid. She yelped when it rushed over her toes, but when the cat dropped the Doctor in shock, she took his hand and they scampered out of the cabin, the Doctor in his pants and Rose in her t-shirt, the Doctor's greatcoat tucked under her arm, since it had been the only thing she had time to grab.
Over the path and into the woods they ran, holding hands. They jumped over branches and ignored the rocks that lodged themselves into their feet. Finally, the Doctor came to a stop, Rose right next to him. He panted, bending over.
"You all right?" Rose asked.
"Me? Oh yes," the Doctor said, standing up and beaming at her. "Got your key, Rose?
"Yeah," Rose said unevenly. "It's around my neck, where it always is."
"Brilliant!" He reached for the chain and pressed his sonic screwdriver to it. There was a pause, and then Rose heard it, the sound of the TARDIs materalizing where they were.
"What's that? You have an 'in case of cannibal-witch' TARDIS-summoning setting on the sonic screwdriver?" Rose teased.
"Oh yeah," the Doctor bragged. "Good on you for grabbing my coat. We would have had to walk all the way back and I don't remember where we parked originally."
"See, dropping the crisps was a good idea!" Rose said, as the Doctor opened the TARDIS door. "You're not always perfect!"
"Gonna miss those trousers," the Doctor said, shutting the door behind Rose. "But I have a spare suit or two in the wardrobe. And the candy cane sex..."
"Was definitely worth it," Rose said with a grin.
The Doctor looked over at her and flung a dial. "Where to now, Rose Tyler?"
"The wardrobe," Rose laughed. "Because you piloting the TARDIS in your skivvies is too funny for words."
"Oi! You said you liked these!" The Doctor gestured at his Scooby Doo boxer shorts.
"I do... but I like taking them off more."
"Better idea, Rose. Let's go to the bedroom."
"I'll race you."
"On the count of -- hey, that's cheating!"
**
And the lost little boy and the pretty little girl had many more adventures together, some of which are recorded in this book. But like so many other flowers, a rose can only last so long in the bright light of day, and so I cannot tell you, my dear readers, that she lived ever after with the little boy in his magical blue box. I can tell you, however, that they lived happily when they were together-and as they traveled to so many times and so many places, I can tell you that there is a Doctor and a Rose Tyler, somewhere, somewhen, having a happily ever after, together.
Author: ladychi
Betas:
plaid_slytherin ,
papilio_luna , and momdaegmorgan
Rating: Adult
Words: 5304
Summary: Once upon a time, there was a lonely little boy, and a girl he gave both his hearts to... A trip into the woods with no bread crumbs to find the way back to the TARDIS goes a bit wrong for Ten and Rose. Written for the Support Stacie auction winner, Lily Fiore.
A/N: This is actually the first of a series of fics which
plaid_slytherin will cowrite, after this one, of retold fairy tales using our favorite characters. Sort of.
The (Rather Unfortunate) Disadvantages of Gingerbread Construction
A Tale From the Book of Improbable Things
A fic for LilyFiore, who won the Doctor Who LadyChi author auction at Support Stacie this April. Thank you for your generous bid. I submit to you, a Ten/Rose fic, as requested. It begins, as all good stories do, with...
Once upon a time, in a land far away from here, where the grass was red and the sky was orange, was born a boy doomed to loneliness. One day, a war came to his people that threatened to sever the Universe. His people fought long and hard and when the time came, there was nothing more they could do. They sent the boy in his blue box to do the only option left. The boy, although he did not want to, unleashed the fury of the Time Lords, and the fate of their great enemy, the Daleks, was sealed. Many worlds died, and his own people perished. The little boy was alone.
In his loneliness, he did as he had in his younger days and set out to travel the universe, where he came upon a little town you may have heard of, dear readers. In London, he found Rose Tyler and saved her from death, even as she saved him from himself. But that is not where our story begins. Our story begins in a different galaxy, in a different time, with our lonely little boy in an entirely new body, for he had already gone on many adventures with Rose Tyler. It begins, in fact, on the planet of Clom, in the Bragiss galaxy.
As you well may know, Clom is a forest planet. These forests are so dense and immense that it is very easy to get lost in them, which is just what the Doctor was telling his friend Rose as they stepped out of his magical blue box.
**
"Rose!" The Doctor stood outside the TARDIS and thumped impatiently on its door as he surveyed his surroundings. "C'mon!"
"Well, you said dress for hiking and I didn't have any boots, so I had to go to the wardrobe," Rose said, stepping out of the TARDIS to stand next to him. "What do you think of these?"
He took a brief look down and took in her high-top boots with thick soles, jeans and solid-color pink t-shirt. She'd flung a pack on her back that no doubt held a couple of bottles of clean water and some snack food. "They'll keep your feet dry. Let's go, Rose, we're wasting daylight!"
"Where are we and where are we going, again?" Rose asked, jogging a few paces to keep up with the longer-legged Doctor.
"On the forest planet of Clom. Every kind of densely plant-populated ecosystem you could want exists on this planet, Rose! They have rain forests in the north and deciduous in the far south -- desert forests with cactus-like trees in the far east and fern forests in the west and everything in between. We are going to watch the three-legged spotted eagles hatch. I've timed this one brilliantly, Rose, we should be right on time. You won't believe it. They hatch singing! Singing, not chirping for food. The first thing they do is a sing a song of joy. It's all very symbolic, but you know me, old softy two-hearts."
Rose laughed. "You could say that."
"We've got to hike a couple of miles northeast of here," the Doctor said, pulling out a device with an arrow that swirled back and forth, making an absurd sort of clicking noise that repeated several times a minute, "and then climb a bit of a hill, and we should arrive in time to see them hatch. You're gonna love this. Absolutely love it."
Rose beamed at him and took his hand, wriggling her fingers a bit until they fit together, as comfortably as if they had been born that way. The Doctor suspected that if she stayed with him until the end of his lives, their hands locked together would always feel the same. It would always feel right. His hearts were buoyed by the thought and they took off in the direction of the arrow, chatting happily. Not a half-a-mile from the TARDIS, Rose reached into her pack and pulled out a bag of crisps , munching on them as they walked, since they hadn't really had a chance to grab a real meal in several hours.
"Oi, you're being a bit messy there," the Doctor said as a half-crisp bounced off of Rose's shirt and landed on the forest floor.
"Can't help it! It's hard to walk and eat crisps, I'll have you know," Rose said indignantly, sucking the salt off of her pointer finger in a most distracting manner. "Besides, this way, we'll be able to find our way back to the TARDIS."
"Time Lord, me. I don't need breadcrumbs to find my way," the Doctor said with a sniff. "I've got superb TARDIS-finding instincts."
Rose laughed. "Yeah, right. What about that time that we lost it at my mum's, huh? Took us two hours to find it 'round the corner outside the pub."
"That was a fluke."
Rose beamed at him. "Mars. Ptreus 3. Hubrium. Jjox."
"Yes, well. It's very like a human to focus on all the times that I haven't quite lived up to my reputation. But you don't ever mention the times when I know exactly where the TARDIS is, do you?" The Doctor smirked at Rose. "I've got an impressive success rate, if you stop to think about it!"
"That's like bragging that you can remember where you parked your car every time you go to Tesco's!" Rose stuck her tongue at the Doctor and jogged a few steps, jumping over a particularly large branch that had fallen to the floor. "Not impressive!"
"Oi, I am so! A TARDIS is not even comparable to a car! That's like... comparing a yacht and a speedboat!"
Rose's laugh echoed in the valley and stirred something deep in the forest.
**
Now the distance the Doctor had planned to walk was much shorter than the distance he and his friend Rose actually walked. This was not an uncommon occurrence, for as gifted as the little boy was with many other things, he was not a born navigator. Rose was accustomed to this, though, and said nothing to her friend until they had been walking for some length of time-without seeing the Doctor's famed singing birds-they came upon a house made of the finest smelling gingerbread they had ever smelt, and they quite lost their senses...
**
The Doctor's couple of miles had turned into several. Periodically, he took out his eagle-detector and scanned the trees around them with his brow furrowed. The sun hung low in the sky and Rose was tired and thirsty by the time they came to a small stream. Without consulting the Doctor, Rose plopped down on a rock on the edge of the water and fanned herself with a hand.
The Doctor twirled, shaking the eagle-detector and cursing under his breath.
"Well, what does it say?" Rose asked, longing to take off the boots she'd thought would be so practical. She had blisters in places she hadn't thought she could get blisters in.
"The readings aren't clear. Haven't been in a while," the Doctor admitted, plopping down on the ground next to her. "I have a feeling that we are rather spectacularly lost, Rose."
She smiled, sliding down the rock until it was bracing her back, uncaring of the slight dampness of the ground and the way it soaked through to her jeans. "It's not the first time we've been lost together. Know what we're doing, us. When it comes to being lost, that is."
"Yep," the Doctor acknowledged.
"Do you suppose that water's clean? I think I've emptied our last," Rose said, brandishing a plastic bottle and shaking it at the Doctor.
"Let me check." He bent down and scanned it with the sonic screwdriver. Shaking his head, he rose to his feet. "It would be safe enough for a bottle or two but we'd better not consume anymore of it than that. It's got some chemicals and additives neither one of us are used to. If we need to stay longer I can purify it, but I think we should keep moving until we can find appropriate shelter for the evening. Clom's safe enough during the day. Night's another story all together."
He refilled their water bottles and then pulled Rose to her feet, hopping across the stream easily and helping her do the same. His greatcoat flapped in the breeze as the sun sank lower and lower, and the forest seemed to come to life. Frogs began to chirp and ribbit, or something that resembled frogs. Birds flapped overhead and the trees rustled and creaked.
Rose had spent all of her childhood in London and hadn't had a lot of exposure to forested areas before she met the Doctor, and so she found herself jumping at the sounds the Doctor took for granted. In the far-off distance, a large cat roared its victory and she shuddered.
"What was that?"
"Most closely resembles a panther on your planet. Here they'd call it a chi'bak -- it's a sort of large spotted feline with webbed feet. Spends most of its time hanging about in trees or in the water and eats other small mammals for food."
"Like people?"
The Doctor laughed. "No. You're much too scary, Rose Tyler. I know I wouldn't want to try and eat you." He flushed and scratched the back of his neck. "For... dinner. Were I a carnivore. You understand what I'm saying."
"Ooooh." Rose's face lit up in the dying daylight. "Do you smell that?"
"Smell what?" The Doctor perked up, taking a cautious sniff of the air. "That smells like-"
"Gingerbread! C'mon then!" Rose tugged on the Doctor's hand, running in the direction of the delicious odor. Her stomach was rumbling and the package of crisps seemed hours and hours ago, if not days. They came upon a clearing in the middle of the dense forest, in which sat a house. It was a pretty thing-brown, and trimmed in white, with accents of red and green. The windows were slightly opaque and appeared almost like stained glass. The walk leading up to it was carefully maintained, the grass trimmed and the path free of weeds, made of a sort of cobbled stone.
"Nooo," the Doctor breathed. "It can't be. Rose, does that look like..."
"It's a gingerbread house!" Rose laughed out loud, throwing her fist in the air. "Can't you smell it from here?"
"Now that... that is brilliant. You know, I've never seen a life-size one of these. Mine always fall apart for some reason. Something about the sugar-to-milk ratio in my frosting..."
Rose wasn't listening. She rushed ahead of the Doctor, dropping her pack to the ground. When she came to the front door, she stopped abruptly and turned back to beam at him. "Hurry up! I think I see gum drops!"
"Do you now?" the Doctor rushed forward too, her enthusiasm catching. They walked around the perimeter, holding hands and talking in almost-reverent voices. There were licorice sticks outlining the windows and candied oranges for shutters. All of the doorknobs were made of gumdrops. Jelly babies made up a sort of brick-pattern on one face of the house, and on another, chocolates were used as a retaining wall for growing lollipops in a sweets garden. Through the sugar-windows they could see peppermint sticks being used as load-bearing beams and rafters of thin waffle. Caramel flowed from an angel's pitcher in a fountain outside of the house, and when Rose ran her finger over the surface of it, powdered sugar came off, exposing the donut-like texture underneath.
The Doctor bounced on his heels, squeezing Rose's hand. Rose licked her lips and turned to the Doctor. "I know I shouldn't, but I really want to try some. It's like Willy Wonka. You just want to stick your finger in the chocolate fountain."
"No Oompa Loompas on Clom, Rose!" The Doctor practically skipped over to the house and braced his hands on the wall. "We shouldn't. Really, Rose. This is someone's house."
"Just a little taste?" Rose asked. "It can't hurt, can it? Just a little... nibble. It'll look like the wind took a bit of it or something." She edged closer to him, her mouth watering and her stomach turning over in protest.
The Doctor swallowed and closed his eyes. Rose could see the battle-his impetuous nature and the voice inside that reminded him of social niceties warring with each other for dominance. And then, as she knew it would, his tongue flicked out and tasted just a bit of the gingerbread of the house. He jerked away immediately, and Rose's heart sank, but he wasn't making faces of disgust. His eyes remained rapturously closed for a few minutes more before he opened them again and focused on Rose.
"What's it like?" she asked, stepping a little bit closer to him. "Is it... good?"
"Oh," the Doctor said with half-lidded eyes. "It's very good." Carefully, he reached up and took off a piece off the roof, just enough for the length of his hand. He broke it in half and gave the other portion to Rose. "Try it."
She took a piece of it, the smell tingling her taste buds before her tongue had even touched it. Like a child with Christmas sweets , she took just a little bit on the outside and let it explode in her mouth. It was spicy-warming her mouth with more than just heat, but sweet at the same time. As soon as she had tasted it, she wanted more, to eat the whole chunk in one greedy gulp. Still, she took her time, breaking off little pieces and chewing them slowly before she swallowed. The Doctor, she could see, was doing the same thing, sucking on his fingers to get the last traces of flavor off of them when he was done.
"How about some of that caramel milk to wash it down?" the Doctor suggested. "We could dump out the water in the water bottles."
Rose readily agreed, and they did just that, dumping what remained of the water onto the ground and filling the two bottles with the caramel liquid. It was somehow ice cold in the heat of the day and filled up Rose's stomach completely. She swayed a little, laying her head on the Doctor's shoulders as he wrapped an arm around her.
"What do you think? Peppermint for dessert?" he asked in a husky voice.
Rose tugged on his neck and kissed him, rising up on her tiptoes to get the full taste of his lips. They were slightly cool, but tasted of gingerbread and caramel -- honey sweet and spicy. His scent filled her nostrils-pheromones, he'd said-clean and rich and distinctly masculine. His hands trailed to her waist, lifting up the hem of her t-shirt to caress her back with the pads of his fingers. Deftly, his hand slipped in between her jeans and the skin of her hip, pressing her closer to him.
She could feel him against her stomach, already hard and insistent. She grinned at him cheekily. "Someone's certainly ready for dessert."
"You were licking your fingers, Rose," the Doctor said plaintively. "It was very, very distracting."
"It was good," Rose murmured, kissing the Doctor again, playing the hair at the nape of his neck. "I can still taste it on you."
"Mmm," the Doctor hummed and ran his thumb underneath her t-shirt, tracing the bottom of her bra lightly. "You still taste like Rose to me. Only... spicier."
"Is it a good thing?"
The Doctor beamed. "Oh yes."
"Shall we look and see if anyone's at home?" Rose asked. "If there's a bed, not that I don't mind other... things, it's just we've been hiking all day and-"
"Ha! Rose Tyler, I do like the way you think!" The Doctor secured her hand in his and knocked on the door. They waited for a long moment and no one came to the door. The Docor twisted the doorknob and it opened easily.
It was a simple one-room affair, with a modest bed and quilt in one corner, an abnormally large wood stove in the other, a desk and a wall of pots and pans. Barrels of sugar and flour lined one of the walls and spices hung from the ceiling. It smelled of cloves and ginger, of peppermint and caramel.
Rose shut the door behind the Doctor and pounced on him, pulling his shirt out of his trousers insistently. They fell to the bed in a giggling heap.
**
Now, my dear readers, you may recall another story about a blonde-haired little girl that intruded on to property that was not hers. She tested each bed in turn, each chair in turn, and each bowl of porridge in turn. But sometimes, when one is looking for a bed-well. Let us just say that sometimes one isn't nearly so picky...
**
They didn't waste any time once inside the cabin, undressing to take sponge baths and pouncing on each other on the bed.
"I am going to lick you like a candy cane," the Doctor promised solemnly. In any other circumstance, Rose would have laughed. But the Doctor's eyes were molten, his cock already straining up towards his stomach. At the foot of the bed, he took her big toe into his mouth and sucked, turning her foot over and then placing a kiss on the arch of her foot. Up the back side of her calf, his lips trailed. Not licking, but letting lips just barely touch skin. He pressed an open mouthed kiss to the back of her knee and then rotated her leg to press a kiss to her knee-cap. Rose held her breath as she watched him, his eyes intent on hers.
He turned her leg again, dragging his mouth up the inside of her thigh until he was mid-way to the point Rose desperately wanted his mouth. And he kissed her -- sucked and licked and nipped until she had a mark. She arched and gasped, bunching the cabin's pretty quilt in her hands. She already was on fire, already heated putty in his hands.
He drew a shaky breath and closed his eyes. She knew her reactions were testing his control. He shook himself and pressed a kiss to her center, but didn't part her, so that it teased the area without actually delivering any of the sensation she wanted. Rose's breath hitched and she arched up insistently.
"Dammit, Doctor," she hissed.
"My Rose," he whispered, his hands trailing up her other leg to push it to the side, her knees slightly bent. He inhaled -- the smell of her pheromones and the sweets in the air a heady perfume for him and her both.
His tongue dipped inside her navel. He swirled it, teased it the way he would tease another sensitive place on her body. It was all Rose could do to keep from grabbing the Doctor's hair and yanking him to where she wanted. His fingernails scraped lightly against her skin as he let them lead the way up her body. Gently he pinched the nipple to attention and twisted it this way and that in rhythm with his attentions to her belly button.
She pumped her hips, desperate for some attention to the areas that would make her come. But the Doctor was patient, moving to the other nipple and the letting his mouth travel up as well. In contrast to the gentleness of his hands, his mouth was demanding, suckling her breasts until she writhed underneath of him and struggled for purchase.
"Trust me?" the Doctor asked her in a low voice.
"What? Yeah, yeah," she panted. "Just... please."
From a bowl next to the bed he drew a thick, round peppermint stick. He popped it into his mouth and sucked, her attention drawn to the movements of his throat. He took as much of it into his mouth as he could, and Rose's mouth went a little dry.
"There," he whispered, and traced it down her body, making a complicated pattern on her stomach. "Spread your legs."
"I-" Rose flushed a dark red. "What?"
"Spread your legs." Slowly, she did as he asked. The peppermint slid down her body, leaving a sticky trail as it went, and the Doctor's mouth was on her stomach, and then her groin. He parted her at the front with gentle finger tips and then slid the peppermint stick back, pressing on her clit. She shouted and her vision went a bit white. The Doctor chuckled a little. He crawled back up her body and kissed her neck, still moving the peppermint stick back further and further, until he teased the area craving its attention.
"Doctor," Rose gasped. He found the center of her opening and pushed the peppermint in steadily. She froze at its hardness, the lack of the pliancy of skin, and at the way the Doctor continued to push it in. She panted, arching her back, the further it went in.
"Is that okay?" the Doctor asked.
"Yeah," Rose breathed.
He slid it out and then thrust it back in. Her body clenched desperately around it, unsure of what to do with its smoothness. It was alien, forbidden. The Doctor watched her, watched her every reaction, swirled it around inside of her, watching which spots made her moan, which made her gasp. She was close to the edge, building up a rhythm, when the Doctor slid the candy cane out of her. Eyes still on hers, he studied it, the wetness covering it. Without hesitation, he put the end of it in his mouth and sucked. Rose couldn't take anymore, her hands trailing down her own body to rub roughly against her clit, and she came.
The Doctor hummed in the back of his throat. "Peppermint and Rose. It's my new favorite flavor."
Rose lay back, panting for a minute, until she pulled him up and rolled him over onto his back. "Let me taste." He offered her the stick of sweets, but she didn't take it from his hands. Instead, she drew it into her mouth and drew her lips up and down the shaft of peppermint. The Doctor groaned.
"Rose," he said huskily. "I..."
"What do you want? Mouth or..."
"Or," he said firmly, and drew her waist over him and sighed in relief when she slid home. She rode him like that-straddling his waist, breasts swaying at the hard rhythm, until he climaxed, reaching over his head and yanking on the headboard. She stopped, still for a minute while they recovered, before she slowly rolled off of him.
They were both quiet for a long moment. "Well," said the Doctor. "That was..."
"Yeah," Rose agreed, breathlessly. "Let's get that peppermint stick bronzed."
**
The thing about staying in houses that don't belong to you, dear readers, is that very oftentimes, at the most inconvenient moment, the owner of the house will return. Now, if you are lucky enough to have picked the house of a family of somewhat understanding bears, you will only be thrown out. But sometimes, letting yourself uninvinted into an unoccupied house means that you have let yourself into the lair of a witch. And in those times, discretion being the better part of valor, and death by cannibalistic witch being a very unpleasant way to go, it is best to run.
The lost little boy and his friend Rose were not lucky enough to get that opportunity, however...
**
The door creaked open in the early morning hours and the huddled form of a woman stepped inside. She wore a tattered gray dress and a blue apron, and she bent at the waist as though a great weight pressed her down into the ground from her shoulders. Her skin was wrinkled and her hair was white, pulled back and secured into a stiff bun at the top of her head, although a few bangs escaped. She was not unpleasant-looking, or embittered. As a matter of fact, she smiled as she removed her cloak and put her basket of apples and sugar cane down on the ground.
"Would you look at that, Mercredi?" she asked a gray tabby cat, who had followed her inside. "The gods have graced us with dinner. And what fine specimens they are, too."
The Doctor stirred, his head pounding and his stomach rolling. "Unrghk," he said eloquently, and rolled over, bumping into Rose on the way.
"It looks as though the drug is wearing off," the witch said quickly. "We must hurry if we are to enjoy them before it becomes a struggle. Pip, pip!"
The great cat shuddered, and grew in size until it was even larger than one of its safari relatives. Delicately, it raised one of its giant paws and gave it a prepartory lick, and then it did the same to the other.
"Thank you for washing your hands," the old woman said cheerfully. "It does so make me proud. Now grab them quick, sir!"
With a wave of her hand, she gestured up at the low-ceilings, and they groaned and creaked until they rose up into the sky. Another wave of her hand, and the very large stove in the corner got larger and larger. A simple flick of a switch, which the old woman jumped to reach, and it roared into life with a great crack.
The Doctor sat up, eyes wide. "Oi! What's the- ?"
Mercredi lifted the Doctor up delicately by the pants with his teeth and carried him a few steps over to the stove, where the old woman was struggling to lift a very large pot on top of her burn.
"You don't want to eat me!" the Doctor kicked. "Hey!"
"Oh, I'm afraid I very much do," the old woman said. "Humans are such a rare delicacy these days. And you did eat a part of my house. In my mind, this is fair. Isn't it fair, Mercredi?"
The cat nodded his head enthusiastically, sending the Doctor flying up, until his feet touched the ceiling, and then back down.
"Whiplash!" the Doctor cried. "Have you never heard of whiplash? Well, seeing as how you're going to eat me, that's hardly a fair expectation on my part, now is it? Excuse me, but before you throw me in that boiling pot-looks lovely, by the way. What are you spicing it with?"
"Sage and celery. Have to use the real thing on the celery, none of that salt nonsense," the old woman said promptly, and stirred the water with a large wooden spoon.
"I'll keep that in mind. Rose? Next time we take prisoners on the TARDIS to eat alive, use sage and celery." Rose, who had been stirring in the bed, woke up, and froze with wide eyes. "Now, what can I call you? Person who's going to eat me is so... tedious."
"Mathilda."
"Ah." The Doctor wrinkled his nose. "That is unfortunate. No wonder you grew up to eat people. Now, may I just say, that eating Rose and I is a bad move? I mean, really bad. Ridiculously bad."
"Oh really." Mathilda put her spoon on her hip and stared at him with fixed eyes. "Tell me why I shouldn't eat you."
"Well." The Doctor thought for a moment.
"Doctor!" Rose shouted.
"I'm thinking, I'm thinking! For one thing, I am really, terribly skinny. All bones and muscle, me. Not a gram of fat on me. And pardon my saying so, but it doesn't look as though you're on a low-fat diet."
Rose's eyes narrowed and she shook her head. "Doctor," she hissed.
"Oh, was that rude? Suppose it was, a bit." The cat shook him viciously. "Oi! She's letting me have my say, you! Now, cool it. I used to like cats. I had plenty of regenerations when I loved the pieces out of them. Don't go ruining it now! Well, an order of you in wimples just about did me in already, but I was working on getting back to liking you. It's bad form to dismiss an entire family of animal based on one bad experience, though..."
"Doctor!" Rose shouted.
"We don't belong here!" He said hastily. "Visitors from off-world. We didn't know the rules, we got a bit lost. We were trying to see the eagles hatching..."
"Well, then, you won't be missed," Mathilda said blithely. "This gets better and better. Mercredi, drop him in the pot."
Rose sat up and ran in her just her t-shirt to the pot the old woman was stirring. "Oh no you don't!" She jumped and grabbed one of its enormous handles, dumping the water on the old woman and flooded the cabin with its scalding hot liquid. She yelped when it rushed over her toes, but when the cat dropped the Doctor in shock, she took his hand and they scampered out of the cabin, the Doctor in his pants and Rose in her t-shirt, the Doctor's greatcoat tucked under her arm, since it had been the only thing she had time to grab.
Over the path and into the woods they ran, holding hands. They jumped over branches and ignored the rocks that lodged themselves into their feet. Finally, the Doctor came to a stop, Rose right next to him. He panted, bending over.
"You all right?" Rose asked.
"Me? Oh yes," the Doctor said, standing up and beaming at her. "Got your key, Rose?
"Yeah," Rose said unevenly. "It's around my neck, where it always is."
"Brilliant!" He reached for the chain and pressed his sonic screwdriver to it. There was a pause, and then Rose heard it, the sound of the TARDIs materalizing where they were.
"What's that? You have an 'in case of cannibal-witch' TARDIS-summoning setting on the sonic screwdriver?" Rose teased.
"Oh yeah," the Doctor bragged. "Good on you for grabbing my coat. We would have had to walk all the way back and I don't remember where we parked originally."
"See, dropping the crisps was a good idea!" Rose said, as the Doctor opened the TARDIS door. "You're not always perfect!"
"Gonna miss those trousers," the Doctor said, shutting the door behind Rose. "But I have a spare suit or two in the wardrobe. And the candy cane sex..."
"Was definitely worth it," Rose said with a grin.
The Doctor looked over at her and flung a dial. "Where to now, Rose Tyler?"
"The wardrobe," Rose laughed. "Because you piloting the TARDIS in your skivvies is too funny for words."
"Oi! You said you liked these!" The Doctor gestured at his Scooby Doo boxer shorts.
"I do... but I like taking them off more."
"Better idea, Rose. Let's go to the bedroom."
"I'll race you."
"On the count of -- hey, that's cheating!"
**
And the lost little boy and the pretty little girl had many more adventures together, some of which are recorded in this book. But like so many other flowers, a rose can only last so long in the bright light of day, and so I cannot tell you, my dear readers, that she lived ever after with the little boy in his magical blue box. I can tell you, however, that they lived happily when they were together-and as they traveled to so many times and so many places, I can tell you that there is a Doctor and a Rose Tyler, somewhere, somewhen, having a happily ever after, together.