Read the Pimpcorps General Orders First
Got this from AJ yesterday:
So here is a good one.... Last week, Tai sent me a letter. In the letter, there was a paragraph that pretty much summed up all the stupid people in EHP. It was really damn funny, and a couple people suggested I let Staff Sgt. Mann read it. So I went up to him, letter folded so only that paragraph was showing and let him read it. He got a good laugh, and as he was starting to hand it back, his phone rang. So, doing what any good DI would do while on the phone, he read the REST of the the letter: The next Paragraph was "Btw, I LOVED your Pimpcorps General Orders that shit was Funny!"
You can imagine the look of stark terror on my face when he pointed at it and looked at me, and then dismissed me from his office without a word to go stand on line. Did I mention he still had the letter?
A few minutes later he comes out, letter in hand. The entire platoon is online by this point, and he walks up to me. I'm thinking he's going to make me recite them, right? Nope, he just hands the letter to me and says "First thing in the morning I want a copy of those orders in my hands." and walks off. Next morning comes, and I give him a copy, which now includes ranks & insignia's, and the moral of the orders- "It's true, you can take what you learn from the Marines & apply it to civilian life." (Catchy huh?) A few days go by. I haven't heard anything else, and I'm not going to bring it up.
Saturday rolls around, EHP & PCP get together to watch a movie. We get settled, and out walks one of the DI's. "Downes, where you at?" I jump up, wondering wtf is up. When he tells me to recite the General Orders. I get half way through #1 when he tells me to recite the OTHER Set. So, projecting like a trained theater student, in front of 140 recruits, 2 gunnery Sgts, 3 Staff Sgts, 2 Sgts. and the company 1st Sgt. I recited the Pimp Corps General Orders. Needless to say there was a good bit of laughter, and I was thankful I couldn't be Quarter-decked. End of story.....
Then Staff Sgt Mann tells me last night he's been passing them around the training battalions, with my name attached.
Do you know how well and truly fucked I am? The secret to basic is making it through so the DI doesn't know your name. I'm going to go to training and every fucking DI in the battalion is going to know my name. I'm going to have a sand box and hand prints on the Quarterdeck that have my name on them. At my funeral, my Senior DI is going to sy "That was some funny shit, you understand."
I just learned the worst truth Parris Island has; the only thing worse than a DI that hates you, is one that likes you.
And my mom was worried that I'd lose my sense of humor. :)
Anthony
So here is a good one.... Last week, Tai sent me a letter. In the letter, there was a paragraph that pretty much summed up all the stupid people in EHP. It was really damn funny, and a couple people suggested I let Staff Sgt. Mann read it. So I went up to him, letter folded so only that paragraph was showing and let him read it. He got a good laugh, and as he was starting to hand it back, his phone rang. So, doing what any good DI would do while on the phone, he read the REST of the the letter: The next Paragraph was "Btw, I LOVED your Pimpcorps General Orders that shit was Funny!"
You can imagine the look of stark terror on my face when he pointed at it and looked at me, and then dismissed me from his office without a word to go stand on line. Did I mention he still had the letter?
A few minutes later he comes out, letter in hand. The entire platoon is online by this point, and he walks up to me. I'm thinking he's going to make me recite them, right? Nope, he just hands the letter to me and says "First thing in the morning I want a copy of those orders in my hands." and walks off. Next morning comes, and I give him a copy, which now includes ranks & insignia's, and the moral of the orders- "It's true, you can take what you learn from the Marines & apply it to civilian life." (Catchy huh?) A few days go by. I haven't heard anything else, and I'm not going to bring it up.
Saturday rolls around, EHP & PCP get together to watch a movie. We get settled, and out walks one of the DI's. "Downes, where you at?" I jump up, wondering wtf is up. When he tells me to recite the General Orders. I get half way through #1 when he tells me to recite the OTHER Set. So, projecting like a trained theater student, in front of 140 recruits, 2 gunnery Sgts, 3 Staff Sgts, 2 Sgts. and the company 1st Sgt. I recited the Pimp Corps General Orders. Needless to say there was a good bit of laughter, and I was thankful I couldn't be Quarter-decked. End of story.....
Then Staff Sgt Mann tells me last night he's been passing them around the training battalions, with my name attached.
Do you know how well and truly fucked I am? The secret to basic is making it through so the DI doesn't know your name. I'm going to go to training and every fucking DI in the battalion is going to know my name. I'm going to have a sand box and hand prints on the Quarterdeck that have my name on them. At my funeral, my Senior DI is going to sy "That was some funny shit, you understand."
I just learned the worst truth Parris Island has; the only thing worse than a DI that hates you, is one that likes you.
And my mom was worried that I'd lose my sense of humor. :)
Anthony