Update: Legs and Otherwise
Phew. Leg is still hurting; Mike is taking me to the Student Health Care Center tomorrow for another follow-up. If my ankle is still swollen tomorrow, they are taking x-rays. uh oh, there's another couple hundred bucks i CANT AFFORD TO SPEND! And i have a HUGE bruise on my butt, but since my leg hurts so bad, my butt has risen to the occasion and not hurt me at all. and my elbow is both bruised adn scratched, not to mention the cyst has mos def shrunken. ugh. But, I discovered today that although my ankle is uber-swollen, i can walk on it. I don't need the crutches anymore!!! If I walk slowly, I can limp my way around. I think Mike is slowly getting over me staying with him, lol. I'm so fiercely independent that I wind up doing most everything myself, even if it hurts. But sleeping at his place makes me feel safe and secure. And even though he tosses and turns (in the most adorable way possible, lol), i'd rather be there with him with a gimp leg than on my own and perfect. He is still yet to see me cry (except for when Emilio died), since he drops me off at my place to soak my leg and all. which is good, he gets worried when everytime i wince, and i think hearing me scream and cry would tear him to pieces. He's so sweet, i couldn't ask for a better friend.
When he was at school today, i washed ALL the dishes in his sink... there were lots, and his sink is so small i had to do it in the bathroom sink, which was ghetto, but fun. I just wanted to do something nice for him, since he has been there for me ever since we met. I can't even tell him how much he means to me. This past week alone. He didn't physically get here til tuesday night (was it tuesday? seriously, the days are all a blur to me), but he was talking to me everyday, apologizing that he wasnt here to help, and saying he was sorry that im in pain. Just talking to him calmed me down, and made me feel worried about and loved. It is a bummer that agreements don't always work, but it's ok, he's one of my best friends, and there aint no way i'm giving him up, and if i have to forfeit an agreement to keep him around, so be it. As corny as it sounds, i just want to be held, no innuendos or anything and not leading to anything either. I just need to be held and crap, but if i ever find the words to tell him that, i'll amaze myself. i belive in the power of hugs, and he and i don't hug nearly enough. give it time, i guess.
i miss Wes' hugs, lol. he was the best ever. mmm. some people just have the power to make you feel like the only other person on earth, i guess.
Got a get well card from the crew at work. I was running around last week to get a group of us to go see the Chippendales dance at Cub Graffiti (the acutal men off the 2005 calendar!), but no one could. so, they sent me a card with a sexy man on the front saying "I thought a little MALE could brighten your day!" lol. All the women signed it, Larry did not. lmao. small wonder. I know they're all really worried about me, since i haven't been in since last thursday, and wont be in til at least Tuesday. since i can walk slightly, i will go in to work on Tuesday i guess, provided that my leg isnt still leaking that nasty crap out or bleeding. ick. I was bleeding today. When mike and i got up, my leg was bleeding, adn his nose was bleeding, it was a fun morning! lol. I was in a pissy mood earlier though, through pretty much my own fault. emotions will kill ya. I was really snippy with him, and i feel awful, though to my defense, i was in big pain. He asked if i needed help getting in the house, or if i wanted him to get my mail, i said NO. lol. i also got the clothes outta the dryer on my own too! fiercely independent, i tell you, but it's also so nice to have someone worry about me, and take care of me. Plus, he cooks dinner for me, a huge plus. the week is not a total loss.
Although, today, as i was trying to nap, i was trying not to cry b/c i'm getting Rico Suave vibes, but only in certain areas. my God, Usher was right. oh well. i had the covers over my face in case Mike woke up, lol, but i wasnt crying that much anyway. until i got in the bathroom, but i gotta say, a lot of those tears were from pain. I won't let anyone see me cry for REAL things. movies are fine, but if it's something real, i won't let them see it. I didn't even cry in front of david this weekend at the ER, and he has seen me at my ultimate best and ultimate worst. go figure. I guess life has jaded and hardened me.
Off to a tub to soak and remove gauze.... OWWWWWW. let's hope Mike doesn't come back for dinner anytime soon, otherwise he WILL see me cry, this gauze stuff hurts like a mofo.
When he was at school today, i washed ALL the dishes in his sink... there were lots, and his sink is so small i had to do it in the bathroom sink, which was ghetto, but fun. I just wanted to do something nice for him, since he has been there for me ever since we met. I can't even tell him how much he means to me. This past week alone. He didn't physically get here til tuesday night (was it tuesday? seriously, the days are all a blur to me), but he was talking to me everyday, apologizing that he wasnt here to help, and saying he was sorry that im in pain. Just talking to him calmed me down, and made me feel worried about and loved. It is a bummer that agreements don't always work, but it's ok, he's one of my best friends, and there aint no way i'm giving him up, and if i have to forfeit an agreement to keep him around, so be it. As corny as it sounds, i just want to be held, no innuendos or anything and not leading to anything either. I just need to be held and crap, but if i ever find the words to tell him that, i'll amaze myself. i belive in the power of hugs, and he and i don't hug nearly enough. give it time, i guess.
i miss Wes' hugs, lol. he was the best ever. mmm. some people just have the power to make you feel like the only other person on earth, i guess.
Got a get well card from the crew at work. I was running around last week to get a group of us to go see the Chippendales dance at Cub Graffiti (the acutal men off the 2005 calendar!), but no one could. so, they sent me a card with a sexy man on the front saying "I thought a little MALE could brighten your day!" lol. All the women signed it, Larry did not. lmao. small wonder. I know they're all really worried about me, since i haven't been in since last thursday, and wont be in til at least Tuesday. since i can walk slightly, i will go in to work on Tuesday i guess, provided that my leg isnt still leaking that nasty crap out or bleeding. ick. I was bleeding today. When mike and i got up, my leg was bleeding, adn his nose was bleeding, it was a fun morning! lol. I was in a pissy mood earlier though, through pretty much my own fault. emotions will kill ya. I was really snippy with him, and i feel awful, though to my defense, i was in big pain. He asked if i needed help getting in the house, or if i wanted him to get my mail, i said NO. lol. i also got the clothes outta the dryer on my own too! fiercely independent, i tell you, but it's also so nice to have someone worry about me, and take care of me. Plus, he cooks dinner for me, a huge plus. the week is not a total loss.
Although, today, as i was trying to nap, i was trying not to cry b/c i'm getting Rico Suave vibes, but only in certain areas. my God, Usher was right. oh well. i had the covers over my face in case Mike woke up, lol, but i wasnt crying that much anyway. until i got in the bathroom, but i gotta say, a lot of those tears were from pain. I won't let anyone see me cry for REAL things. movies are fine, but if it's something real, i won't let them see it. I didn't even cry in front of david this weekend at the ER, and he has seen me at my ultimate best and ultimate worst. go figure. I guess life has jaded and hardened me.
Off to a tub to soak and remove gauze.... OWWWWWW. let's hope Mike doesn't come back for dinner anytime soon, otherwise he WILL see me cry, this gauze stuff hurts like a mofo.