Times they are a changing..
I took a step in changing myself today. A pretty big one I think.
I joined Contours this morning after doing a free session. I've decided that I'm finally ready to do something serious about getting my life together. I need to do it for my physical and mental wellbeing. I can't keep taking so many medications, they're going to have a bad effect in the long run. Especially the warfarin - I HATE putting rat poison into my body every day because that's what it is essentially. It's made from the same stuff as rat poison. But it's a small price to pay to not get more blood clots because let me tell you, those things are scary buggars. I don't wish them on my worst enemy. Especially ones that pass through the heart - THAT felt like a heart attack, they actually THOUGHT I was having one at first but then discovered that it was just clots - but most of you reading this know that already so I'm going to shut up about it hah.
But yeah. I'm really going to turn my life around and try and regain some of the confidence I used to have - most of you wouldn't even believe the person I used to be was me. I was confident, bright, bubbly, and wouldn't hesitate in befriending strangers in a supermarket. haha. In my defense though, I HAVE improved greatly over the past couple of years. I've gone from not being able to leave my house to traveling to the other side of the country for almost a month. I'm able to go out by myself. I'm back to driving. I'm feeling more alive.
I just have to work at spending less time sitting here in front of this computer. It was good while I was in a really bad way, but now I've gotten stuck in a rut where I wake up then come on here. Spend all the time that I'm home here, sometimes just sitting in my deskchair with iTunes on random when there's no one to talk to. I should really move all the stuff off my couch so I can use the darn thing! But I have my life centered around my computer and I know it's not healthy. I know that it's partly why I'm getting such bad headaches again, my neck and back are out of alignment and it's made worse by bad posture from sitting so much.
I am trying though to spend less time here. I'm getting up and walking around the house or I'll go in and spend time with mum or I'll go out and visit someone. But it's still so hard 'cause I AM stuck in the comfort zone of relying on the computer for my entertainment and social needs.
This is getting longer than I'd anticipated it to be so I'll end it now - partly because I want a cup of tea and I've already boiled the kettle a couple of times to make it, but keep forgetting what I was doing! I'm getting old, I swear.
Hope everyone is well!
XO,
Bella.
I joined Contours this morning after doing a free session. I've decided that I'm finally ready to do something serious about getting my life together. I need to do it for my physical and mental wellbeing. I can't keep taking so many medications, they're going to have a bad effect in the long run. Especially the warfarin - I HATE putting rat poison into my body every day because that's what it is essentially. It's made from the same stuff as rat poison. But it's a small price to pay to not get more blood clots because let me tell you, those things are scary buggars. I don't wish them on my worst enemy. Especially ones that pass through the heart - THAT felt like a heart attack, they actually THOUGHT I was having one at first but then discovered that it was just clots - but most of you reading this know that already so I'm going to shut up about it hah.
But yeah. I'm really going to turn my life around and try and regain some of the confidence I used to have - most of you wouldn't even believe the person I used to be was me. I was confident, bright, bubbly, and wouldn't hesitate in befriending strangers in a supermarket. haha. In my defense though, I HAVE improved greatly over the past couple of years. I've gone from not being able to leave my house to traveling to the other side of the country for almost a month. I'm able to go out by myself. I'm back to driving. I'm feeling more alive.
I just have to work at spending less time sitting here in front of this computer. It was good while I was in a really bad way, but now I've gotten stuck in a rut where I wake up then come on here. Spend all the time that I'm home here, sometimes just sitting in my deskchair with iTunes on random when there's no one to talk to. I should really move all the stuff off my couch so I can use the darn thing! But I have my life centered around my computer and I know it's not healthy. I know that it's partly why I'm getting such bad headaches again, my neck and back are out of alignment and it's made worse by bad posture from sitting so much.
I am trying though to spend less time here. I'm getting up and walking around the house or I'll go in and spend time with mum or I'll go out and visit someone. But it's still so hard 'cause I AM stuck in the comfort zone of relying on the computer for my entertainment and social needs.
This is getting longer than I'd anticipated it to be so I'll end it now - partly because I want a cup of tea and I've already boiled the kettle a couple of times to make it, but keep forgetting what I was doing! I'm getting old, I swear.
Hope everyone is well!
XO,
Bella.