# 5
Title: Internal Conflict
Fandom: N/A
Characters: No one specific, but obviously she is female ;-P
Words: 301
Rating: Suitable for all
A/N: Finally, I've written something that's not based on 'House, MD'!
Internal Conflict
It's all about making choices and knowing that one small choice can influence an entire series of events. Finding a passion is the hard part, and perfecting that passion is even harder. She wishes it were easier and yet hates herself for thinking that. If it were easy, then where would the challenge be and why pursue it at all?
She gets angry with herself when things don't go as well as she had hoped. She analyzes the details over and over in her mind, making sure that next time she'll get it right. Always forcing herself to work harder, watching others who are more experienced, learning to take constructive criticism. She knows she has the ability and capacity for this, even if it scares her.
There are those moments where everything aligns and she delivers a solid performance, bringing a level of satisfaction that she strives for each and every time. She craves that feeling because it is better than beating herself up about what should have been or could have been. She doesn't want to be a failure, because it feels worse than letting others down. Perfection isn't a reality but it is always something she desires. What was it that she missed? She tries another angle, hoping that this time it might work differently. There is lots of eye rolling throughout the process as she makes mistakes, and laughter mixed with relief when she does something right.
Some roles she connects with better and she can get inside of them, bringing them to life. She makes a choice and concentrates on that moment. Everything she does has to be a conscious decision and followed through to its conclusion. A small detail here, and some nuances there.
Floating through from one moment to the next, she never stops moving.
Fandom: N/A
Characters: No one specific, but obviously she is female ;-P
Words: 301
Rating: Suitable for all
A/N: Finally, I've written something that's not based on 'House, MD'!
Internal Conflict
It's all about making choices and knowing that one small choice can influence an entire series of events. Finding a passion is the hard part, and perfecting that passion is even harder. She wishes it were easier and yet hates herself for thinking that. If it were easy, then where would the challenge be and why pursue it at all?
She gets angry with herself when things don't go as well as she had hoped. She analyzes the details over and over in her mind, making sure that next time she'll get it right. Always forcing herself to work harder, watching others who are more experienced, learning to take constructive criticism. She knows she has the ability and capacity for this, even if it scares her.
There are those moments where everything aligns and she delivers a solid performance, bringing a level of satisfaction that she strives for each and every time. She craves that feeling because it is better than beating herself up about what should have been or could have been. She doesn't want to be a failure, because it feels worse than letting others down. Perfection isn't a reality but it is always something she desires. What was it that she missed? She tries another angle, hoping that this time it might work differently. There is lots of eye rolling throughout the process as she makes mistakes, and laughter mixed with relief when she does something right.
Some roles she connects with better and she can get inside of them, bringing them to life. She makes a choice and concentrates on that moment. Everything she does has to be a conscious decision and followed through to its conclusion. A small detail here, and some nuances there.
Floating through from one moment to the next, she never stops moving.