Karma...
I've always believed in Karma. Its pretty much basically you get what you give. Yesterday when facing a tough ethical question, I would like to say I made the right decision. The whole idea of taking a guy you know that your friend likes is morally wrong. Regardless of whether this guy may just be the guy for you, or your friend doesn't like him very much its just wrong. It was hard standing by my values in a situation like this, yet i still managed too. Boy was I surprised when less than 24 hours later, the karma failed to come back. Sure enough, prepared to except gods provided distraction from "the possible one", I ventured out today planning an exciting day with a guy whose name I want to scream from the rooftop. Our intent was "getting to know each other better". Which in my case, can be a little hard. I am very shy about first getting to know someone, especially a drop dead GORGEOUS guy. I packed my heart and soul in the form of PB and J sandwiches, Finding Nemo Fruit Snacks and Hi-C Fruit Punches. With this ready to go I set off to our meeting place. It was fortunate perhaps, that after shyly looking at each other across the church pews, and me watching him play the drums admirally...that we had our first conversation over the phone. We learned we both like golf, disneyland and scary movies. Meeting in person after dreaming about it was a little odd...but we hit it off right away. We were lucky because we got to talk for about an hour or so...because the others were late...then I rode in his car so he didnt have to ride alone...and he taught me how to drive the freeway...we were totally hitting it off when we got them...and I was slowly coming out of my shell...the nice thing was even when he saw I was shy...he didnt give up...he really wanted to get to know me even if he had to go the extra mile. Things were great...riding by him on all the rides...him flirting with me with little gestures like tickling, telling me secrets on pirates...and it seemed great...then someone who claims to be one of my best friends started jocking him...laughing and flirting and pushing me out of the way to stand by him...which is strange because she was pretty much invisible to him until she started acting all stuck up and making fun of me...stealing some of my lines...my stories...and me...too shy to face someone face to face...instantly shut off...i tried to fight it but i pretty much went back in my shell...and he still made an effort but definitely a lessened one...although i definitely dont think he likes her...because he doesnt think she is very attractive i dont think he succeeded at getting to know me better...and i am crushed...because stupid me...was the one making all these plans to make this persons bday special...telling people to come because she was such a great person...and then she turned around and did this to me...i was seriously crushed...i was on my wits end..on the verge of tears...so i went into the bathroom stall and prayed...yes i prayed in a disneyland bathroom...the way i look at it there are three ways to pray: the kind in your room at night, the public kind( over meals, services, etc) and the "bargaining kind"...where its kind of like ok father...i am doing the right thing here...why does it feel like the guy doing the wrong thing is the one reeping rewards here...and you ask for a sign...that you are doing the right thing...well guess what..BAM...sign granted...i took a personality test in California Adventure...and everyone gets a dumb character like "oh you are like cinderella because you like to dance...etc" and guess what i get? MULAN!!! Check this..because I am a logical thinker, strong minded, stays true to my values and beliefs, would do anything for friends and family and true to myself...and if i keep at it...i will live happily ever after...