Help! Someone be funny!

[ladybretagne]

I have a job interview this afternoon at 4:00pm (leaving at 3:30 or so). I need a silly hat and a clean joke for this interview (it's Jamba Juice, they're nutty). Between us, Jenn and I know exactly ONE clean joke, and since she remembered it first and she's coming to the interview (it's a group thing) tomorrow too, I am in desperate need of a

Comments

[rosefox]

There once was a girl from Madras
Who had the most marvelous ass
Not rounded and pink
As you probably think
It was gray, had long ears, and ate grass

A piece of string walks into a bar. "We don't serve your kind here," the bartender says, and he ties the string into a knot and tosses it out into the gutter. Battered and weary, the string nonetheless staggers back into the bar. "Aren't you the same piece of string we just had in here?" the bartender asks. "No," the string says, "I'm a frayed knot."

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?
"Here come the elephants over the hill."
What did the elephants say when they saw Tarzan coming over the hill?
Nothing; he had sunglasses on, so they didn't recognize him.

Why do ducks have big feet?
To stamp out forest fires.
Why do elephants have big feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.
(I think there's a third part to this one, but I don't remember it.)

How do you know when there's an elephant in your car?
You can smell the peanuts on his breath.
How do you know when there's an elephant in your fridge?
Footprints in the butter.
How do you know when there's an elephant in your bed?
They hog all the pillows.